Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 6 of 6 (Follow Up)

Week Six

Well here we are my lovely Lord and Savior… the Preserver of my soul… the Bright and Morning Star… the Bearer of my weary soul. How much You have given me through this study… so many thoughts of encouragement and delightful pieces of You to share. Yet all I can give You today in this post is thanking You for allowing me to accomplish this moment… if You allow me to get it typed, pictures added, and posted.

Truth Six: Let the success of others encourage not discourage you.
Combating Verse: 2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

So much has happened while I have been struggling just to make it from moment to moment. If I don’t get this typed, I fear it won’t. So many of the wonderful things You have brought me and done for me, and for those around me are lost in my inability to remember… word for word… day by day… or moment to moment. But I remember in moments that make me smile, or at least help me bear my burden (my cross) as we are all called to do. But I will share what You will allow.

I remember the sweet sleep in the car, the fondness of a friend, and excitement to be joining many more dear friends. I remember I was so excited to finally get a Sprig of Joy fundraiser can!

I remember Keitha being excited to let us know Nicki Koziarz is coming to her Keitha’s church on June 20th. Nicki is the author of this ladies bible study we’ve been doing:
Rachel & Leah: What Two Sisters Teach Us About Combating Comparison.

I remember being blessed by the daily devotionals for each morning.

Day One: Where God SpeaksDay one reminded me of one of the key figures we are easy to forget was an important part in all of the comparison and hardship that Jacob, Laban, Leah, Rachel, Zilpah, and Bilhah were all tangled up in. Esau was Jacob’s first rival. It was Jacob who struggled with jealousy and comparison. His actions toward Esau were exactly those of Laban towards Jacob. And Jacob gained the same ill character in his wives and father in law, the same ill character that his children would inherit. The deception Jacob learned from the whisper of his mother Rebecca to usurp what was rightfully his brother Esau’s, would be the same deception Laban would whisper into the ear of his daughter Leah to deceive Jacob on his wedding night after he had labored hard seven long years for Rachel.

Day Two: Go To That PlaceDay Two had me thinking that of all of the places I have been… according to Your will or by my own foolish wisdom. I would rather be wherever You lead me… be wherever You are, and am grateful that You are willing to go wherever I have strayed to lovingly lead me home. Where You are, I want to go to that place.

Day Three: A New NameDay Three makes me joyfully think on that new name You tell me You have written down for me in heaven… a new name that only You know and will whisper into my ear. It reminds me of when I started using my middle name as my new name… Gail. My family calls me BrendaGail. It makes me think of the many names changes in Your word… Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, Noah to Noe, Saul to Paul, and of course Jacob to Israel. It also reminds me of the sad news of Rachel’s death. It was sad to know how her life had been. Never happy… always living her life in comparison.

Day Four: Party of 12Day four has me thinking on all of those children born out of manipulation and deception. Yet even in the midst of a dysfunctional family, You created the twelve tribes of Israel, and the lineage from which Jesus was born. It reminds me of when I once felt “barren,” and for years was constantly provoked by all the other girls who had babies, some three or four. They were very cruel. Yet just like Hannah, it was when I made a particular petition and vow that You answered my prayer. And that was before I had read Your bible, and I was a single teenage mom. I don’t know why You allowed things that seem contrary to Your word. I only know that You give life, Lord. Praise Your name!

Day Five: Spiritual Gifts SurveyDay five had a survey to discern our spiritual gifts. I was began with making sure I only answered between 2 and 4, but was soon all over the place. I leave the results to You because just as we are trusting the outcome to You, we know that You have allowed us to answer the questions that made the score. So as our thinking is (flawed or right on), it will determine what we score.

I have so many blogging friends who have enjoyed the “quizzes” for themselves. Lord, help them to be able to read the pictures. I know in times past, I would have went through the hard work (with joy) to type it out in a neat format aligning the book, but You and I both know I am blessed that the media devices finally charged and worked!
Thank You! 🙂

Dear friends, if you can not read one just let me know. I will type it for you.
There are 80 questions, and score as read above in the previous picture.

Scoring Your Survey
Here are the directions.
There are 16 areas of spiritual gifts listed.

Graphing Your Profile

My spiritual gifts scored
1. Giving
2. Faith
3. Prophecy

This surprised me considering when I read the sixteen possibilities, I only “had faith” in Faith. The others seemed like actions… involving others. I do not know why my self esteem has went so far to the basement lately, but I know God doesn’t want it there. How can I love my neighbor as God does if I cannot even love myself as my God loves me
(And the second [commandment] is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
– Matthew 22:39 KJV)
I am to believe in who He makes me.
I am a child of the Living King… the One True God!
I can do ALL things through Christ Jesus, which strengtheneth me. (Philippians 4:13 KJV)
How much more giving can one be than to share God’s love… genuine true love?

So then the question was asked…
How has God been speaking to you throughout this study about the situations where you are comparing yourself? How does humility play a role in what God is showing you?My health is what it is. He has blessed me many days, and with encouraging and wise, and very patient therapists, nurses, doctors. I need to be thankful, and accept where I am is what God has planned for me… at least right now. Regardless of where that is and what it looks like or feels like, or lives like, I am to love who I am in Him, and to share that love with others. God has known my life long before I did, and as The Great Physician He has every right to do whatever He wants with it to bring glory to His name. Even in and ESPECIALLY in my weaknesses He is made strong.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV

In that giving to others… PRAYER is ONE of the most loving things we can give and do. I am blessed to have the prayer requests below to take with me. I pray as often as the Lord allows. This week we had prayed in our small groups, but kept our own prayer cards. Marilyn was excited to share a praise that her friend Etiska did not have cancer after all!! Such good news among what seems like a sea of cancer anymore. We were excited to share in her news, especially after praying with her.This is what one of my dear sisters in Christ reminded me… because I am sharing with them in prayer my burdens, they will be able to rejoice with me in what I so easily think is trivial to others but is every bit huge to me and my health.

Just as they rejoiced with me over hearing my stepdad’s complete lung work up and blood work came back good while they have been helping me pray as the doctors work to find the cause of Bobby’s already terrible lung health to be even worse lately. His lung specialist still thinks it’s Bobby’s CPAP issues. So the ladies continue to help me to pray for him. 

And when he sent messages to “thank the girls” and let them know he is praying for them too, the ladies would send the same messages back to him.

As for my health… my lymphedema and lipedema are flaring up the most… along with the things my doctors are already trying to help me with. Sometimes there are great and effective treatments for one health issue but is either hindered by another,  or actually causes more problems that actually render the original problem tolerable. Sometimes I simply have to deal with both. I am trying to use the wraps as much as possible, but my spinal damage is making things so challenging. My positive is to know at least this time I have had a lot of help in my physical therapists whereas last time, I had no help so it was the bandages right off.

On top of that prayer need, I have received a Jury Duty Summons. 

I do not know how my Jury Duty Summons will play into the wraps and needing to elevate my legs, but I know that God is well aware of my needs, and am blessed to have friends who will pray with me.

I miss the ladies bible study!
I don’t know if I’ll be able to attend when Nicki comes to Keitha’s church.
But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know He watches me… and them. 😉

 

 

Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 2 of 6

God, You’ve been so good to allow me to make it for night 2 of 6 in the
Rachel & Leah: What Two Sisters Teach Us About Combating Comparison.
Written by Nicki Koziarz.

I made it just in time, after I had just spent a couple of hours sitting in a parking lot catching up on reading our homework. In reading, I finally noticed it was meant to be a little reading each day. It is designed in a very friendly manner to making time in one’s day. And having daily reading is always good soul food. Adding daily writing is such a blessing too. It allows one to take the material with you more. I will make a better effort this week ahead and the others, with your help.

Truth Two (aka Week 2) is See It Like It Really Is
The verse is Proverbs 31:30. Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting,
but a woman who fear the Lord will be praised. (NIV)

The King James Version reads “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”

Both serve the purpose in helping us to understand that charming ways are deceptive, favor can be deceitful, beauty can be vain and fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord… she shall be praised. Following the Lord, insteading of competing or flattering one another is always wiser. Being favored or showing favor makes us mindful of what we think and expect of each other. Being in God’s favor and mindful of His beauty, being focused on what He thinks and expects of us helps us to discipline the human tendency of comparison.

Thank You, God, for the snacks! Thank You for the discussions. Thank You for Nicki’s video. Thank You for Keitha’s leadership. Thank You for helping me to remember the Bloom book and the Coloring Journal. Thank You for my small group during prayer time. Thank You for trusting me with others’ new prayers to carry through the week. Thank You for giving me the courage to pray out loud when it was my turn. Thank You that my nerve blocks have been on Mondays this time so far instead of on the same day. Thank You for Keitha hugs! And for every hug You allow! Sisters in Christ are so loving! ❤

I look forward to meeting You each day this week in our book. Help me to See It Like It Really Is…. it being life… my health… my weaknesses… my need for others… my need to be there for others… Your love for us! Help me to keep my mind on You. May I always have reverent fear for You. I would be a fool not to.

Thank You for loving us, Father! I love You! ❤
PS… Maybe next week I’ll get pics! It’s up to You! 🙂

Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 1 of 6

Father God, How delightful You are to me time and time again! Day after day! And this last Thursday (3.7.19), You poured such love and attention to my soul… a Ketiha Bible Study!!! 🙂

Rachel & Leah: What Two Sisters Teach Us About Combating Comparison.
Written by Nicki Koziarz. 
I was excited from the moment Keitha announced it.

I am grateful You allowed me to sign up and make the first night.
After getting signed in, I found my badge.

got my book, was given my schedule, a poster of all of the images with the theme and verse for each week, and a ticket for door prizes.

It was so nice to say hey to Keitha and the ladies. It’s always so good to hear the busy hum of so many voices just talking away all over the room.  We were give a small piece of purple paper for any prayer requests we had.
(I mentioned my cervical nerve blocks coming up on Monday 3.11.19)

We were given a white index card to think on what we think You might be preparing to talk about with each of us individually as we spend the next few weeks studying Rachel & Leah, and the struggle of comparison. I think I dropped mine while leaving because I don’t have it to take a picture to share. 😦

We were given another but smaller piece of purple sticky note, but I missed why. I stuck it in the front of my book to keep up with it.

We went around the table doing introductions. We gave our names, our churches we attend, and how we came to hear about the study, as well as answered if there was anything we struggled with in comparing with others. Oh and of course all while having a bite with the snacks provided… taco chips, shredded cheese, lettuce, hamburger meat cooked taco style, grape tomatoes, (all in a little plastic bowl made a nice taco salad), water, and desert. My desert was some kind of foreign named banana bread that started with b. I can’t get remember if it was Belgium or Bovarin, but I know what starts with g… good! 🙂 With my spoonful of meat having a little bit of a bite itself, I was grateful for the bread to calm the heat.

After a little discussions on the background story of Rachel, Leah and Jacob, and a few personal testimonies on struggling with comparing, we gathered all our things and went into the sanctuary to watch the brief video on the study created by Nicki Koziarz.
I wasn’t familiar with her name, but she was nice and desired to keep it as focused on You and Your Holy word as much as possible.It was introduction week/week one and the theme for the night was
Truth One: You Need to Be Honest.
The supporting text was from Psalm 139:1
“Lord, you have searched me and known me.”

Nicki gave three main points to take with us through the week.1. Just Go! Go and study Psalm 139:23 KJV
“Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts” 
2. Wrestle with God (referring to Jacob’s wrestle with You).
3. Be honest. (Admit to the struggle of comparison)

She also suggested to Dismiss Denial and Embrace Transparency.
Lastly, she suggested memorizing Psalm 139:1
“O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.”
(I use King James Version to study and memorize. It helps.)

Afterwards, we discussed the video and the material. We were told to use our white index cards to write down what we thought You would be talking to us individually for through the study. She asked us to think on if it was the same as what we had thought on at first, and then told us to keep the card to compare as we grow. It may be that we change our thinking on it, or that it might not be anywhere near what we thought it was going to be.

As I said earlier, I think I dropped mine somewhere,  but I wrote that I struggle with comparison of my physical health. I don’t begrudge anyone good health, but I do miss being able to swim, bike, dance, run, and as of lately I had been walking better than I had in years. But now these new kind of headaches and recurring cervical issues sometimes feel like I am going backwards.  😦

But I pray, I do my therapy appointments, nerve blocks, and whatever my doctors tell me. I’m following You first. That way I know it’s You in whomever You bless me with.

We were then split into groups to switch prayer requests and pray. I was blessed to pray with Jerrie, Vicki, and Latricia. Between us, we prayed over finances, health, family, ministry, the ladies, the study, and Keitha. Keitha then said a prayer aloud for all the ladies and our prayers.

 Keitha then took a group picture, and dismissed us.

Just before I left, You blessed me with Keitha hugs ❤ , and three attempts at a picture with her.  🙂 Two attempts on my little smart phone that is so challenging trying to get a selfie of any kind because I have to turn the phone around and try to feel for the snap button… on a very sensitive touch screen. LOL

The first picture is actually pretty cool because is shows how easily and sincerely Keitha listens with her heart. That’s You in her face… in her heart. ❤
The second picture is awesome in showing her love for life. That’s still You… the life she loves to see through Your eyes! 🙂

Keitha was so very wise to ask someone else to take the picture for us.In the third picture, though I wish the picture would have gotten more of Keitha’s smiling face, I will absolutely praise Your Holy name for what You gave! And I will praise You that Keitha was very patient and merciful to try again. ❤

I thought long and hard on the way home. Like a lot of the other ladies, I first thought I don’t struggle with comparison because I don’t envy or begrudge anyone. But comparison is also about how we see ourselves. How we see ourselves determines our thinking regarding the image we are made… in You. It determines how we love our neighbors, regardless of the denial we hide behind.

Dying to self does not mean killing the life You have given us, nor beating up on the child that You died for in each of us. It doesn’t mean blowing off the value of a reputation because we compare having one to some popularity contest. Our character is just as valuable as our faith, our salvation, and the Creator we represent. Failing to fight for that character can unknowingly cause us to compare and compete for who can be the most unworthy. Fighting for our independence more than we fight for the responsibility to assemble together can rob us of fellowship, bearing one another’s burden, and putting Your kingdom above our petty pity parties.

We are to lift one another up. We are to cheer each other on. We are to ask for help when our war is raging fierce against our strength. We are not to compete, instead we are to love one another as ourselves. Not any more… on some pedestal. Not any less… wallering in ourselves. We are to love one another with the comfort that You have comforted us with. We are to love one another as You have loved us. We are not to drag the name of Christ (Your precious Son and our Savior) through the mud.

We need to be honest… with ourselves… and one another.

I eagerly look forward to next week, Lord. I pray You will allow me to come. I am so in love with all that You do in my life! Thank You for continuing this theme in the message that Pastor Tim gave Sunday morning using Psalm 37. Another reminder to keep our trust in You regardless of how much greener the grass seems on the other side, especially when it’s really our strength that is waning in the fight.

Pastor Tim told us…

When you feel like evil is coming at you,
getting ahead of you… and God,
even in their wrong doing...
read Psalm 37.

I am so glad I read it! ❤

Pastor Tim also said to remember…

David was a giant killer,
but even a giant killer needed God.

Lastly, I thank You for the song You have given with all of this… Building My Life by Pat Barrett.  I’ve fallen so in love with it because I have simply fallen even more in love with You! It is so fitting because we are to build our lives on You, not on the examples and things of others, and not on the skewed view in our own eyes. As the song says…

“Holy there is no one like You
There is none beside You
Open up my eyes in wonder
And show me who You are
And fill me with Your heart
And lead me in Your love to those around me.”

Help me to build my life on You, Jesus! You are the man that we are to mark as the perfect example that lived the life we are striving for. And help me to remember that I am living the life that You gave me to live. I can not compare to Your perfection either, but I can absolutely put my trust in You!

“I can do all thing through Christ, who strengtheneth me.”
– Philippians 4:13 KJV

Lead me in Your love to those around You so I may tell them…

God loves you! ❤

 

Joy and Job: Reminders

God, You are so exciting and fun when it comes to some things!! Like this reminder that was posted from Keitha on the Job Ladies Bible Study she has coming up in a couple of weeks. I loved the how Job 8:21 was put at the top!

I definitely need some joy! Sometimes I am just sitting with Job. As I read this flyer, I see where it reads, Join Us If You Want To… these 5 things. I want… need all of them!
1. Learn to trust in God’s character: I want to learn more of anything to do with You, trusting every part of You! As wonderful as You are, I am confident there will only be more fabulous all along the way! 🙂
2. Repair past or current emotional wounds: Aren’t we all working on some kind of wound one way or another? Whether we want to deal with it, deny it, or convince ourselves we’re too strong to worry about a wound, we are all carrying something.
3. Realize God welcomes your difficult questions: Boy do I need this one. The reassurance in someone struggles with that too lets me know I am not alone in this. Difficult questions about God, our doubts, and relating Him to our lives, our past, our humanness can leave us feeling challenged.
4. Let go of complacent Christianity: At this moment this makes me think of the old song He Will Set Your Fields On Fire, which is in relation to Absalom and the foxes tails that were set on fire to run through the fields. Help me, Lord, to always be ready to listen, to be aware, to prepare, and to do whatever You ask of me. Help me to be ready for my bridegroom… to have all the oil I need.
5. Pursue joy in the midst of pain: Instead of chasing dreams, rainbows, fantasies, escapes, or false hopes, I look forward to pursuing YOUR joy in the midst of any pain. As long as it brings me closer to You, or brings me more understanding of what You want from me and for others, I want it.

So when I saw this added picture, I find joy already… in just knowing there is hope in upcoming days. Whether I am blessed to make it to all 7 nights, just one, or if You only allow me to see the reminders, I find joy in hope! Thank You!!

There is one other exciting exception to the flyer. The smiling face leading this Bible Study is Keitha! She is such a delight. A lively personality! And so in love with You! 

I love watching her talk about You, the smile You put on her face, and the words and thoughts that You share with her, and have her share with us! I eagerly look forward to anything You  have for us… Keitha and each lady! This picture below is just one way I see Keitha: Even on stage in front of a group of ladies… You are talking, she is listening, filled with Your joy, and we will ALL be recipients of the blessings You pour out through her!

Thank You, Lord, for Keitha…. and for hope!
Thank You for the joy in these reminders!
Please let Keitha hear me saying,
“Me and God love you, Keitha!
Me and God are praying for you and each lady!”
❤

I love You too, Lord!
More than I could ever properly put into words!
❤ Thank You for loving me! ❤

 

 

 

 

Breathers: 8.16.18, Night 3 of 3

My dear Lord, thank You for answered prayer! Every moment of this day had so many things challenging the possibility of my making it to this ladies bible study that I felt like I was holding my breath all day to see if I was going to make it. It was the last night of the Breathers Ladies Bible Study… a Gathering on the Back Porch.

By Your glorious grace I made it through the spinal block from earlier in the day, still able to drive. It was a very challenging afternoon of pain afterwards, but it wasn’t because of the shots. It was from standing, walking, and even having to sit so much in a particular position for a few hours as we waited for Anthoni to get off work. I caught what sleep I could as Sandra drove us home or else I knew I would not be able to stay awake for driving to the study. I made sure to hold off on taking any pain medicine until after the bible study.

Praise Your Holy name… I made it! You allowed me to arrive with just enough time to take a moment in the car… to breathe! 🙂 I go in and see a bunch of tables set up. Lynn shares her friendly smile and tells me to pick any seat. I find a seat and see the cutest little bag in front of me. It’s a Strawberry Lemonade mix! My stepdad will love it.

I see the label reads… Stir, Shake, Chill. This makes me think of Keitha and her fun personality, and simply loving to laugh.
I could just see her having us do some kind of playful cheer or something.
“Stir… Shake… Chill! Stir… Shake… Chill!
🙂 Again ladies! Come on girlfriends!” 🙂

The room begins to come alive with fellowship as the tables begin to fill, and everyone sounds so excited. It’s so delightful to hear. I’m in a room full of ladies with most of them being strangers, yet they are pouring out love to one another. My table begins to fill up and I see a familiar face from a previous study…. Lisa! Yay! A Lisa hug! ❤ Then Keitha lets us know there is ice cream and brownies! I skip any because I know my back will not tolerate me standing too much.
Then we went into the sanctuary where we did some singing under Brittany’s leadership… and to listen to the guest speaker.

Kathy was our guest speaker.
I loved her Porch Rules! 🙂

1. I love a porch swing! My grandmother use to have a red one that we swung in all the time. It was the most peaceful feeling! That ever so gentle breeze playing so tenderly with your hair… bringing a kindness that only You can give in the little bit of wind swinging creates… and takes the mind to another world of pleasantness when You add a little of Your own wind. I miss it! I miss my grandmother! ❤
2. A porch swing is just as healing when it sits still. Many times, hurts and life are too much for a soul to swing. You are wise to tell us to take time to be still. We need it… just like we need You! It only makes sense we need time alone with You.
3. What better way to spend time with You than in Your word? What better way to listen to You when we have prayed… and to know You personally? I love that You left us a personal love letter! ❤
4. What does one have the perfect opportunity to do when in a swing… when one is still… when one has access to Your word? To Reflect. You have been having me do this quite a bit as I have been following You on a personal journey You have for me.
5. How can I not praise You with all that You remind me You have brought me through? You are worthy of praise just for who You are! Your Holy name deserves glory, honor, praise, and to be spoken among every one on earth! Praise You!
6. How we need to pray every hour of the day, every second we can. I am so grateful that You want us to come to You. What a loving God You are to us! ❤
7. Hallelujah! What a Savior! Of course I think of this song, but when I saw this on the sign You had me thinking how this would be a cool name for a little girl. And since I know a friend with a little girl named Jubilee, I thought that would make a great middle name. Hallelujah Jubilee! What an incredible name! If she needed time to grow into her own faith, she could go by Halle like Halle Berry! 😉

Thank You for letting me make it to this study, Lord! And for helping me to stay awake and focused! Even after having the spinal block earlier that day! Standing was very hard to do, but was worth every second! YOU are worth every second!
Thank You for the Keitha hug! ❤ And the Kristy hug! ❤ And the Lisa hug! ❤

Oh and thank You for the delightful surprise to take home with us… the reminder of a new study starting in September! I’ve already been blessed to Discover an Unlikely Joy in You 😉 yet You just continue to offer me more in this study on Job by Lisa Harper.  Keitha will be leading the one You would likely make possible for me. I hope to see You there! ❤

If You missed out on the first 2 nights, you can read them here:

Breathers: 6.21.18, Night 1 of 3 Soaking Up the Summer, Son, and Shade

Breathers: 7.19.18, Night 2 of 3 In the Cool of the Evening

Breathers: 7.19.18, Night 2 of 3 Extra

 

Breathers: 7.19.18, Night 2 Extra

How Faithful You are to me, my God! How clearly You speak, whether in a whisper or shouting right in my face! You delight in me! And I delight in You! Just as I was speaking to You the other night when posting Breathers: 7.19.18, Night 2 of 3, You opened my sleepy eyes, and foggy brain, and honored noting whatever verses or notes I could from being present, without my camera as a distraction, and trusting You with everything.
(Anyone who has not read the post listed above, may not understand this one.
For those of you who did, there are new pics of that night at the end of this post! 🙂 )“And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor hearken unto my voice: for they will say, The Lord hath not appeared unto thee.  And the Lord said unto him, What is that in thine hand? And he said, A rod.”  – Exodus 4:1-2 

As I was listening to the speaker the other night when she got to this verse, my half asleep brain thought I was being asked the usual “What are you holding onto that you cannot let go of?” when she was actually asking “What is your hand to use?” As I was typing the post, I was still so foggy that I didn’t even really take in the cracked pots at all. But after the day of rest You gave me on Sunday (ironically a very long and restful sleep, followed by a long and peaceful time awake), You allowed me to reread in a relaxed state. And I finally heard You! Your word! Patricia’s message from You!

And I heard Moses! “A rod.” And I saw MY rod! In the picture! My PEN! ❤My pen is the rod You have given me to help others believe! The ink that ends up on the paper, or the characters on a computer, are the byproducts of this Cracked Pot (my sleepy and foggy brain)! How You choose to let Your people know that You want to free them of their Pharaohs and their taskmasters is up to You! But as long as I am willing to say, “Yes” to Jesus, that is all You ask of me! You want Your people to know!

“And the Lord said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows.”
– Exodus 3:7

And in the message You kept me awake for, You have spoken to me!

What’s in your hand? God is a God who sees and hears. Even when you can’t voice your needs/cries to Him because you don’t even know what they are. God hears and is helping against whatever has been your taskmaster.

Fear and doubt have been my taskmasters! Ghosts of the past and physical chains of the present! They convince me I am of no use to You. That I have nothing to offer, and mess up every attempt You give in mercy and grace with my afflicted body. Still!!! You assure me that You saw and heard me even when I was half asleep, helping me to get those words down so that I can hear You now… I have a rod in my hand! It is filled with ink! Or my fingers that are tapping the keys! The words are finding their way through this cracked pot after all! You tell me my earthen vessel is a treasure filled with Your power.

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.” – 2 Corinthians 4:7

Who am I to give into doubt and fear so easily when the excellency of Your power will be the glory to shine through? YOU designed this cracked earthen vessel! YOU have given this blog, and the one with all of the poetry that I fear insults You yet the responses from others magnify the testimony You have done throughout my life! It is YOUR testimony! It is YOUR glory! I am merely to say… Yes!

You have a divine strategy to alleviate the suffering of humanity… and if You want to include me for the glory of Your salvation, You know what stick You want to equip me with! What YOU give! THAT is what I am holding onto! THAT is what I have in my hand!

“My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.” – Psalm 45:1

This has been my life verse for as long as I can remember… and yet I too easily forget!

So I am lovingly reminded again of that tender rebuke in the little blue note.“If you think you’ve blown God’s plan for your life, rest in this: You my beautiful friend, are not that powerful.” – Lisa Bevere

If it’s true You use Broken Things… then Lord, I’m all Yours! ❤

SO thank You, Lord, for giving me the very answer You were actually giving me when You were asking it of me. And thank You for allowing me to include the pictures from that night of the Bible Study. You know I always like to make sure I have permission before I use pictures.

I was so delighted to see that when Keitha gave the OK, she let me know she had just gotten back from a beach vacation with her hubby and son! She took a Breather! 😉 She was being an example for us! And You blessed her for saying Yes in allowing You to pour through her broken vessel!

From one Cracked Pot to another, me and God love you, Keitha! ❤

And Sarah, I trust that wherever God had you at work during this study that He was pouring through you too! I pray God allows me to see you at the next one!

Me and God love you too… my sister Cracked Pot! 😉 ❤

And for you who stayed with me through this post, I know you may doubt your earthen vessel, but your heavenly Father sees treasure to pour His excellent power through! ❤
Say Yes to Jesus, and trust it all to His glory!

He loves you too, my fellow Cracked Pots! ❤

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If you would like to read the other night, they are here below:

Breathers: 6.21.18, Night 1 of 3 Soaking Up the Summer, Son, and Shade

Breathers: 7.19.18, Night 2 of 3 In the Cool of the Evening

Breathers: 8.16.18, Night 3 of 3 Gathering on the Back Porch

 

Breathers: 7.19.18, Night 2 of 3

Lord, how grateful I am that You think of me in such loving ways. That You whisper sweet words of tender care just when and where You know that I need them. And that even if I forget them as quickly as I heard them, that it did not take that moment away from me, that I did not disappoint You or anger You, and that You are faithful to continue whispering (shouting if You need to) the words, the sermons, the songs You know I need, because You know the battle is far from over. It will never be completely settled until we are settled in at home… with You.This night You had allowed me to make it to Breathers ladies bible study. It was night 2 of the 3 we will have this 2018 summer. In the Cool of the Evening was the title for this night. Many things tried to hinder my making it, but You were so protective to get me here. There would be the sadness of not having Sarah with us, which meant no Sarah hugs. But I know You were with her while You were with us, and were giving her all the hugs she needed from You.

You allowed me to make it in time enough to stop by the ladies room. As I looked to see if it was occupied, I noticed the door slightly open with the light off. Slowly opening the door, I heard a voice in the dark say, “Oh! Hello!” Immediately I went to close the door while apologizing, but again heard the voice in the dark say, “Oh no! I want you to come on in.” That was kind of creepy, but I knew I was in the ladies room at church, so I entered carefully. A lady was putting her lipstick back in her purse, as she insisted I take the room. As she left, I thought of how skilled she and her eyes must be to put lipstick on in the dark. She was facing the mirror to do it.

After that laugh, I got signed in, was given a pen from the church, got a Keitha hug 🙂 , and found a seat at the table. On the table, I found a little bag with a cute little message,
“There is always room for Smore love.” ❤How adorable! I will finally get to try one of those things I’ve heard so much about through the years! It takes a lot of discipline not to open it so I can get a picture of it first.

I also see a paper reminding us of a guest speaker,
and a place to take notes on later while she is speaking to us.

I look up and see a couple of ladies preparing music for us. **GASP** Tracey will be singing for us! ❤ What a delightful surprise! I watch as they prepare, but try not to interrupt. Instead, I pray for them. Later, Tracey would make my day by saying hey and sharing a Tracey hug! 🙂 After meeting a couple of new sisters in Christ, Keitha opens the night with prayer and instructions. We go get snacks. I ate a couple of sleeping bags. 😉 Yes, that’s right! 2 of the cutest little pigs in the blankets I have ever seen.

The message was so You meeting me where I needed it, even if I didn’t know what I needed, or where I was for You to find me with what I needed. That has been the theme from You lately. As this issue with falling asleep everywhere, and the brain fog, and memory struggles continue even while I am here and listening. I started to struggle with staying upright. I’m most worried about offending the guest speaker.

These are the notes and verses I managed to get while half awake:“And Moses answered and said, But, behold, they will not believe me, nor hearken unto my voice: for they will say, The Lord hath not appeared unto thee.  And the Lord said unto him, What is that in thine hand? And he said, A rod.” – Exodus 4:1-2 

What’s in your hand? God is a God who sees and hears. Even when you can’t voice your needs/cries to Him because you don’t even know what they are. God hears and is helping against whatever has been your taskmaster.

“And the Lord said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows.” – Exodus 3:7

God has a divine strategy to alleviate the suffering of humanity and it involves you.
For the glory of His salvation!
What’s your stick? What are you holding on to?
Depression – just don’t enjoy anything anymore.

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.” – 2 Corinthians 4:7

Cracked pots. There is one word that we CAN do in trying to do something for Jesus:
YES. We can say yes.
What are you holding on to?
What’s in your hands?
You feed them.
Free them of their taskmasters.

Dear, Lord, how discouraged I am at this moment in wondering how you can involve me in helping alleviate others’ sufferings when I can’t even stay awake. How can I even know what is in my hand to let go of when I cannot even think straight from struggling to stay awake? Surely I will just keep messing things up.
And then You remind me with that little blue box on the paper. “If you think you’ve blown God’s plan for your life, rest in this:
You, my beautiful friend, are not that powerful.”
– Lisa Bevere

At the end of the night, I grabbed a banana pudding on the way out, and managed with Your help to wait til I got to the car and take pictures before I ate anything.
Worth the wait!! 🙂 Thank You, Lord!

The Smore was worth waiting to try, but was so messy trying to eat that I think,
“Nope. Not me. Especially not while camping and with no napkins.”I don’t really care for snacks or foods that are so messy that it’s a struggle not to get it all over the place between each bite, or just to hold it. Yes, I could taste why people like it, but unless I am in a setting with plenty of napkins, maybe even one or two wet ones, and a drink to wash it down, I will pass on it.

On the way out we grabbed a card for next month.
Gathering on the Back Porch

There’s so much I wanted to blog and share, to love on Keitha with, to share with Sarah, but my sleep, memory, and health issues just won’t accommodate. So I am doing what I can do… still praise You with what You will allow. I share the blessing You gave me with the very mind I am still working with. I may not be able to remember everything, and trusted Your whisper to leave my camera in the car to better focus on You while I was present there. But I KNOW I was blessed. I remember that with absolute! And I share as honestly as I can. I leave the blessings meant for others to You. You can do anything.

For Your word says:
“For with God nothing shall be impossible.” – Luke 1:37

And I believe!! ❤

Thank You, God! Thank You!

Please bless each lady!

If you would like to read the other nights, they are here below:

Breathers: 6.21.18, Night 1 of 3 Soaking Up the Summer, Son, and Shade

Breathers: 7.19.18, Night 2 of 3 Extra

Breathers: 8.16.18, Night 3 of 3 Gathering on the Back Porch

 

Breathers: 6.21.18, Night 1 of 3

“Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.”
– Be Still, My Soul, hymn lyrics by Ka­tha­ri­na von Schle­gel

My dearest Lord and Savior, how often I sadly forget You are on my side… allowing the enemy footholds He does not deserve. How mercifully You help me to bear patiently any cross of grief or pain You ask of me. How faithful You are to order and provide, even when I forget I have left everything to You in trust, or carelessly fail to do so. Yet faithful You absolutely remain in every change. You are my soul’s best Friend, my heavenly Friend. You only lead me through thorny ways to lead me to a joyful end that will have Your unmistakable name written all over it… and signed with Love From Above. ❤

You have done this for me in another ladies Bible study
with Keitha and Sarah! 🙂 On June 21st of last month, You allowed me the blessing of being with my two dear friends in sharing and studying You again! This time it will be a 3 night event, one for each 3rd Thursday evening of the 2018 summer. Our first night was Soaking Up the Summer, Son, and Shade. We are blessed to be book free, homework free, and free to enjoy You together… fitting the theme just perfectly, as You so designed! Breathers!

Of course we did not leave out YOUR book…. The Holy Bible.
The verse we each found in our place at the table
was from Psalm 23:2-3.How often You have comforted my soul with this very passage!
The thought of being with You beside beautiful peaceful waters,
restores my soul with love only You can give! ❤
We found this verse along with the cutest little bucket…
As well as the the cutest little shovel, rake, and scoop
inside the bucket…And the tiniest little beach ball I have ever seen.
I can’t believe I actually had the lungs to blow it up,
but I did as soon as I got home! 🙂 We had cute napkins that had a beach scene,
and said just the word we needed on both sides… Relax!

We had door prizes… and I won one!! 🙂
And Sarah did too!! 🙂
PTL! Thank You, Heavenly Father! ❤
A large bucket with goodies inside! Mine was blue! 😉
The goodies inside were bubbles to blow and play with,
sun tan lotion, Goldfish crackers, Swedish Fish gummy worm like candy,
and a Cranberry drink.

I was blessed with fellowship, awesome dessert and pretzel snacks, Keitha hugs, Sarah hugs, conversations, and of course a video from the lady who put Breathers together, but I am ashamed to say I forget her name. I know she spoke on being so busy on what we are doing for Christ that we lose our joy for it, and forget to be thankful for who and what He has given us.

She also shared a video by Kari Jobe called Be Still, My Soul.

**Gasp** My dear Savior! You and You alone know how to give us just what we need when we don’t even know we need it because we don’t even know it exists! But You! You know… and give! ❤ Thank You for allowing my soul to be reminded in being active… determined… vocal… in being still… trusting the very command to be faithful to do that very thing. How desperately my raging fear needed the eviction to allow You to be the God of my Spirit that You are. The flesh may wage a war, but Your Spirit is faithful to battle for us! Even when all we can do is voice the words… maybe even only allow the song to play first… to build the strength we need to voice the command ourselves.Tomorrow night will be night 2 of 3… In the Cool of the Evening. And while I find hope in thinking on Keitha hugs and Sarah hugs, and the fellowship with my precious sisters in Christ, my soul longs to meet with You again… and see what new things You have for us. Whatever it is, I know You are already there. Before our day has even arrived, You have designed a couple of hours set aside just for each one of us… individually and as a group.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
 – Psalm 23 KJV

I finish with one last thank You, a prayer for each lady and the night itself, and the song You gave us… but in the full hymn for all of my friends who love hymns (me included, Lord! 😉 ). Every word has comforted my soul… and does each time I read it. ❤

Be Still, My Soul (The Lord Is On Thy Side)
– hymn lyrics by Ka­tha­ri­na von Schle­gel

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

If you would like to read the other nights, they are here below:

Breathers: 7.19.18, Night 2 of 3 In the Cool of the Evening

Breathers: 7.19.18, Night 2 of 3 Extra

Breathers: 8.16.18, Night 3 of 3 Gathering on the Back Porch

Breathing With Friends, Week 4

Dear, Lord! Dear, Lord! Dear, Lord! I did NOT think I was going to make it this week! Besides being in tremendous pain for several days, even taking a few steps backwards a little bit in regards to difficulty walking, I have simply had a very challenging week… physically, mentally, and spiritually. Praise Your Holy name that You were encouraging me to Breathe, or I would have never made it! So now here we are for

Breathe Ladies Bible Study, Week 4... Coming Into Focus!

Tonight as I enter the church, I see that the area where we have been having snacks and discussions has no tables. There is some renovation going on, so we pass a snack table on the way into the chapel, grabbing our badges just inside the door, and find a place to sit. Yay! for on the way in I get a Keitha hug and a Missy hug! I haven’t seen Missy in awhile! Eventually, Kristy, Missy, and my new Sister in Christ (Ellen) are sitting in front of me, and Sarah beside me! We fellowship for a few minutes before saying a blessing over snacks, and go get some!

I used this moment to go to the ladies room first and realize…
I finally have my camera AND my badge at the same time!!
So I kindly allow the beautiful flowers to hold it for me while I snap! 😉
The caption underneath my name reads:
Making Room For Sabbath

Confession time: I didn’t get ANY of my homework read until just before class, sitting out in the car, and I still had a page to go. Just last week I was going to get my post for Breathing With Friends, Week 3 posted, and remark that I am surprised to be so actively speaking this time around because in past classes I have had a lot going on and simply needed God and HIS opinion, not mine. I was even going to say that I hope I am not annoying Keitha, Sarah, and the ladies with being so vocal. And then the week happened!

For one thing, my brother-in-law, who is in palliative care ended up back in the hospital pretty bad off. My brother, who is his caretaker, was extremely concerned and stressed out. My spine was still struggling to mend from standing so long last week. And even though one of my therapies was doing so well that I have been discharged, I still have some issues in other therapy areas. Home life had some challenges. And speaking of challenges… decluttering wasn’t going quite as well (or quick) as I had hoped. Most of the week, I struggled to stay awake! No joke! But you know what… I was STILL doing my homework and it was paying off when so desperately needed.
1. I was taking time to Breathe! Which led me to falling asleep a lot! 😉
2. I was saying No! Which allowed me to breathe! 🙂
3. I was saying Enough Is Enough! Which allowed healthy choices! ❤
❤ HOMEWORK WELL DONE! LOVED ME SOME DOUBLE PORTION! ❤

Now the Lord has us… Coming Into Focus, So we watch Priscilla’s video.
We were given the week’s assignment to
1. recall what God has accomplished on your behalf.
2. Told that a Rhema word is:
when the Holy Spirit uses a General message and applies it Specifically to your life.
**Hello! When has God NOT been using a general message to apply it specifically to my life! If we pay attention, God WILL speak! His Holy Spirit is whispering clearly to us every moment! He’s so worth listening to! ❤ Keep whispering God! ❤ **
3. Take The 14% Challenge!
A. Take 14 Minutes Every Day this week for God! No distractions!
B. Take 14 Inches Twice a Week to make space for God!

I praise His Holy Name that He gave me my 14 Minutes today that belonged to Him!
You guessed it… a post to follow for each Day and Space given to my God! ❤
Day One was so like Him! Would you expect anything else! ❤

My personal challenge for the week will be…
Recall What God has accomplished on my behalf…
because He has spoken specifically on what…. and it’s very personal.
We all have those. 😉
Sorry to be so silent on you this week, ladies!

After discussing the video and the challenge, we circle up for prayers, updates, and praises. Oh… and there were door prizes! 😉 I love seeing people being gifted with surprises! ❤ God is so good and generous!

Breathing With Friends, Week 2

Lord, it’s week 2 and I was so worried that I wasn’t going to be able to attend because of having the occipital nerve block just a few hours before. I was praying and counting on the doctor being right, that I would be able to drive myself home. I had been cautiously optimistic enough to ask my sister Sandra to go with in case she had to drive home because it was the first time I was having shots put into the back of my head.

You were so faithful to answer that prayer! I was able to drive home, and then to the Breathe Ladies Bible Study! Thank You! ❤ Praise Your Holy Name! ❤

I go in and I see Keitha! Yay! A Keitha hug! I love a Keitha hug! I love hugs from my sisters in Christ! I love hugs! ❤ I have my badge (which I have forgotten to a picture of thus far). I sit down. I meet a new sister in Christ as Jackie comes to sit beside me, then Stephanie, and Kristy! Kristy has a new hairdo since I saw her last! It’s awesome! We have some great fellowship. My favorite moment was when Keitha was telling a couple of inside stories about her and Kristy. They were so funny!
I am missing Sarah this week. I thought of texting her so while sitting there, but left my cell in the car 😦  Lord willing, I will see her next week.

Then Keitha hands out a 30 Day De-Clutter Challenge Calendar!

As Keitha was talking about this challenge, she was asking us if there was clutter in our lives… if there was something or an area that was so cluttered we couldn’t even enjoy it anymore. She gave an example of a favorite chair that we might love sitting in, but we have put so many things around it, we can’t sit it in. We have to move a lot stuff out of the way, just to squeeze in. I immediately thought of my bed. I can’t believe I’m going to do this… but just for you who read… just for Keitha who encouraged… and for God who I am trusting on this journey He has prepared for me.

This is all the space in this world that I have for me and everything I own. You can see why as Keitha mentioned the chair so cluttered that things would have to be moved just to squeeze in I immediately thought of my bed that I barely have room to sleep in each night, or whenever I have procedures, or meds take over, or whatever reason I TRY to sit on my bed… even just to sit here and type on the computer… as you can see is crowded as well. So yes I did raise my hand when Keitha asked if anyone would be willing to do the 30 Day De-Clutter Challenge with her.

I will be blogging on that challenge for each day (even if I don’t necessarily get it typed THAT day). It reminds of when I was doing the 21 Day Self Care Challenge with Lovely A of Discovering Your Happiness, and I did my post on Self Care Challenge Day 17: De-Cluttering. God uses these challenges to help me get needed things done!

We did our viewing of the video
Breathe:Making Room for Sabbath by Priscilla Shirer.
This is week 2… Stops Along the Sabbath Journey.

I thought I would show you what a stop on my Sabbath journey looks like. On Sunday mornings I first take my stepdad to his church by 9 am, then go back to get my son to take him to his church, then back to my stepdad’s church because they get out first. I often do MY Sabbath in the car…. often like this… listening to my son’s church on the radio live while doing a puzzle book. It helps me to focus, I kid you not.

Notice the notes that took over my puzzle! 😉

After watching the video we discuss it, the book, our answers, and listening to Keitha talk about things we have normally enjoyed in the past, but we cannot enjoy now because there is so much clutter, or because we don’t say no to others, so we are no longer available to enjoy what we have.

Keitha has since sent an email including an attachment of the calendar for those who may have missed it. I am glad she did. Now I have one to keep up with in my book wherever I go, and one on my computer to remind while I am here at home.
I am not sure where  things will go from here… but I desperately need to clean in all the areas on that de-clutter challenge. Okay God, the rest is up to You!

Do you need to do the
30 Day De-Clutter Challenge
with me?? 😉

Breathing With Friends, week 1

Okay, Lord. Here we go on this new adventure You have set before me. This is the first week of the plans You have laid before me, as I wrote to You about in my last post Catching My Breath. I am so grateful and excited about this Breathe Ladies Bible Study that You are allowing me to do with Keitha and Sarah! Keitha will be leading us on this study… Breathe: Making Room for Sabbath written by Priscilla Shirer.

As I have arrived, I am so nervous. It’s been awhile since I have been able to see some of the ladies. I am also missing Irene being able to do a study with me. I miss her going with me to church, ladies events, and just being here. I know I will see her in heaven, and I thank You for giving her a loving home and pain free life. I just miss her. ❤ Hug her for me!

You encourage me with the thought of seeing Sarah, Keitha, and other familiar faces I am sure I will see. Everyone loves doing a bible study with Keitha! Just to spend time with her is a precious gift from You! We ladies know that when You have Keitha leading, we WILL be given a MEATY serving of Your Holy Word, and that we will have MEANINGFUL and LOVING conversations, and of course a lot of LAUGHS! You tell us laughter is good medicine… so that makes Keitha good medicine! 😉

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine:
but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
– Proverbs 17:22 KJV

As I go inside the church I have never been in before, I get in line and meet a couple of new friends… Carol and Pat are my new sisters in Christ! As we talk, the person in front of them turns around and I see a familiar face! Stephanie! We are so excited to say hey because it has been so long! Last time I saw her she was single. We had kept up in touch via FB, so I knew she was married now. 2 years they have been married already! It was so nice to be able to catch up! We got signed in, got our books, a paper summarizing an outline for the study, and went to find a seat at the table.

Sarah! We see Sarah right off to our right and were able to sit with her! It was such a gift to catch up with her as well! I was hoping to find out how her infant nephew was doing. He is doing better, but is still in the NICU with underdeveloped lungs. It is taking a toll on her sister and brother in law. It was Sarah who had given me a heads up about the study and put my name on a list that allowed me to receive the email from Keitha! Thank you, Sarah!
We all did some fellowshipping and snacks while Keitha went over what we would be doing. We then went around the table, each lady telling her name, her church, and something she loves to do to relax. It was awesome to hear so many different backgrounds! At least 10 different churches, some even “looking” (I like that word better than unchurched), and so many different ways to relax: reading, napping, massages, sitting in a porch swing, going out of town, time with family, hiking, running, exercising, exploring graveyards, spa visits, hair salon visits, shopping, and many more. We even did door prizes.

Then we went to watch the Priscilla Shirer video made for the study.

We took notes as we listened to fill in the blanks.
This was week one: The Freedom of the Sabbath

 

We had discussion afterwards on the video, the notes, and just in general. We then gathered in a circle, some holding hands, as we took prayer requests, and prayed. Lastly, we were each given a book marker with a bible verse relating to the study.

It was such a blessing to be able to do this study, Lord! Thank You for including me! Thank You for letting me see Sarah, Keitha, Stephanie, so many familiar faces, and meeting new sisters in Christ! ❤ I pray for each one of the prayer requests mentioned (and unspoken), each lady attending (an unable to make it), for all our families, for the church who opened their doors for us, for those who brought and/or served snacks, for those who served in any way, and for anyone that You know needs a special prayer. Praise You, God!

Oh and I did do my homework! 😉

Catching My Breath

Sitting here in this car, Lord, I had to pull off somewhere. I needed to get away from the frustrations, and the world choking me with petty quarrels. I needed so desperately to find a moment with You. I pulled as far away from traffic and people as possible. I have the car turned off, the windows downs, and my eyes closed. I take in a deep breath. My body appreciates it, but I’m still struggling to hear You. And somehow that breath doesn’t seem complete… or like it’s enough. So many thought running through my mind… including… “Well do I pray? Do I listen first? How long should I listen before I pray? Are You trying to talk to me? Want me to talk to You? Or just listen.”

I hear traffic. I hear birds. I hear the wind. They’re distracting noises. So I apologize for allowing my thoughts to wonder. Yet as I apologize You seem to say, “Be still. Listen.” I try to focus again. Here I go apologizing again for anything that comes to mind or that I hear. And You tell me with emphasis, “Be still! Stop worrying about how you should think or what you hear, or even what comes to mind. Be completely still. Listen! What ever you hear… listen to it. Whatever comes to mind, think on it. Just be still… listen.. and be.” 

Suddenly I hear the birds sing. I hear the wind, as I feel it blowing through the car, being so tenderly playful with my hair, feeling so cool on my skin. And then the blog I did called Look Up, and the one called CHOOSE LIFE come to mind. I am reminded to look up. And so I do. **light gasp** Oh how marvelously wonderful You are! I see You… in Your beautiful sky! The firmament in which You have placed such gorgeous dark clouds. Any other day I might been weary of them. I have experienced the importance of reading bad clouds. You use these thoughts to remind me of what You’ve brought me through… of times when You were there. And how You looked after me.

Now You have me close my eyes so that I can see You… YOU! I see warm light. I feel You. I see You! How my heart smiles! I feel Your breath coming through the window… breathing Your Spirit over me… breathing in me new life. It flows over me so mercifully. I soak it up as long as I can. I have forgotten everything else. It reminds me John 20:19-22:

Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you. And when he had so said, he shewed unto them his hands and his side. Then were the disciples glad, when they saw the Lord. Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you. And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost.

I feel such a calm. I can feel my body relax all over… completely relax. I am mindful of this because very time I go to a doctor’s appointment, or any of my therapists, I am told I can’t relax. Even when they help me to relax more than when I came in, they tell me my body cannot “completely relax“. They say my body is “holding onto the stress” in whatever area they are working with. They say they need to “retrain my brain” to communicate with that area. Electronic testing shows there is very poor communication… sometimes it’s my brain not sending the signal, and sometimes it’s the affected area not responding to the signal. So even just this moment with You is golden! You are telling me to, “Let go. Stop holding onto the stress… even the strings to it. Give everything to me… and breathe. Just be”.

Life calls and interrupts. I knew the moment would be brief. That was part of the stress. How to make 10 minutes be a meaningful moment to Be still and know that [You] are God. Psalm 46:10. You have reminded me that “I” don’t make it meaningful… You do! Just by being there! ❤ However, it’s time to take my son to work. On the way, he wants to play the radio and hears a favorite song. He turns it up and tells me to pay attention. When it’s over another song comes on. **GASP** You are so awesomely personal!! ❤ A song comes on singing our very personal conversation… “Just breathe… Just Breathe. And be… just be“..

Just to hear him say this… and actually pause… with a very well played music to draw you right in to a dramatic pause. I instantly take in a deep breath… a good one. And oh… the release is just as relaxed and complete. How can a song do this? With Your touch, of course! I YouTube it when I get home. The opening pace seems a little quick and annoys me at first, but as I read the words while I listen I realize it’s perfect. It’s describing and sounding like the frantic pace in my life… in my brain. Yet again, as soon as it sings the first line of that chorus, and I draw in that DEEP breath. As I breathe out I am no longer affected by the other quick part, sometimes I don’t even hear it because I have followed the words to Your chorus exactly where You said to go. And oh, was it wonderful.

CHORUS:
Breathe, just breathe
Come and rest at my feet
And be, just be
Chaos calls but all you really need
Is to just breathe

I read the other lines, and each word is like confessing all those little things that vie for my time, and my peace of mind. Well, except the coffee. For me it would be tea or soda.

Alarm clock screaming bare feet hit the floor
It’s off to the races everybody out the door
I’m feeling like I’m falling behind, it’s a crazy life

Ninety miles an hour going fast as I can

Trying to push a little harder trying to get the upper hand
So much to do in so little time, it’s a crazy life
It’s ready, set, go it’s another wild day
When the stress is on the rise in my heart I feel you say just

Third cup of joe just to get me through the day
Want to make the most of time but I feel it slip away
I wonder if there’s something more to this crazy life
I’m busy, busy, busy, and it’s no surprise to see
That I only have time for me, me, me
There’s gotta be something more to this crazy life
I’m hanging on tight to another wild day
When it starts to fall apart in my heart I hear you say just

So I sing these words (or really listen because it’s less stressful 😉 ), tapping along. I definitely feel like I’m falling behind all of the time, as though I’m going 90 miles an hour, I love how that 2nd stanza ends with “when the stress is on the rise in my heart (with that rising rapid beat in rhythm and sound) I feel you say just... And that therapeutic chorus comes. **SIGH** I am in complete peace with You!

It’s amazing how “I can be busy, busy, busy, and it’s no surprise to see that I only have time for me, me, me.” I mean we’re taught if we’re busy it gets our mind off of ourselves. But if my alone time is so busy that all I am focused on is “Am I?” “Do I? “How do I? “What do I?” That is just me, me, me. I need to be silent. Not just outside of my head. Because it is then that “when [my day] starts to fall apart in my heart I hear you just say… Just breathe…” I can come and rest at Your feet. I don’t care if chaos is calling. I only hear You. You are all I need! ❤

You finish with instructing me on WHY I need to breathe.

Is to take it in, fill your lungs
The peace of God that overcomes
Just breathe (just breathe)
let your weary spirit rest
Lay down what’s good and find what’s best
Just breathe (just breathe)

After I sing for a bit, I come across a FB Inbox Message from my dear friend Sarah letting me know that our dear friend Keitha has will be leading an upcoming ladies bible study. Then I receive an e-mail from Keitha with all of the info. And what was the name of the bible study…. 🙂 BREATHE!!! ❤ I am so excited, and so thrilled to know you have plans for me! And with such precious friends! You had been speaking to me, encouraging me to be involved in an activity with the church ladies. You worked everything out according to Your well laid plans… according to Your Holy Will! ❤

SO now I will lay my head to rest, thinking on Psalm 4:4:

Stand in awe, and sin not:
commune with your own heart upon your bed,

and be still. Selah.