Mystery Blogger Award 4.21.2020

“And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness:
God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit,
seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles,
believed on in the world, received up into glory.”
– 1 Timothy 3:16 KJV

Glory to Your Holy and Mysterious name, O Lord God! How wonderful is the mystery of Your love for vile sinners and broken spirits! I am grateful for that mystery, and for Your love! So grateful for its cleansing power, and its redemptive power! I was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now by Your mysterious grace… I see. 🙂
Thank You God for the many wonderful mysteries of You! Including Your blessings You send through friends… like my dear sister in Christ Herry of Herry Chic Counsels for her generous nomination for the Mystery Blogger Award. Thank for the outpouring of Your love all over her blog, and through her many kind encouragements. Bless her blog, Lord, and bless her!

Thank you Herry, for the kind nomination that allows me to share with others.
May you and your blog overflow with God’s mysterious love as it flows… both ways! ❤
Me and God love you, Sister! 🙂

RULES

1. Put the award logo/image on your blog
2. List the rules.
3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
4. Mention the creator of the award Okoto Enigma and provide a link as well
5. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
6. You have to nominate 10 – 20 people
7. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
8. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify)
9. Share a link to your best post(s)

3 Things About Myself:
1. I love my Heavenly Father! ❤
2. I gave my heart to Jesus at 8 years old. ❤
3. I am grateful for the Comfort of the Holy Spirit! ❤

Best Post(s) 
My first 3 public posts were and still are my testimony.
1. 30 Posts Challenge: #1 Introducing Myself
2. 30 Posts Challenge: #2 Me and God
3. 30 Posts Challenge: #3 Me and Writing

Questions for Me:
1. What do you enjoy most about blogging?
Telling about the amazing and wonderful love of God! ❤
2. How often do you post?
Whenever God allows. That could be a couple of times a day, to once a week (if that).
3. What is your favorite place to visit where you live?
The Blue Ridge Parkway! ❤ ❤ ❤
4. Are you a full-time blogger?
If you mean a professional or money making blogger… No.
If you mean do I blog with a purpose and for free… Yes.
5. What is the best time of the day for you to blog?
At night, provided I don’t fall asleep. 😉 Still… whenever God allows.

Nominees:
1.  God’sChild of 30 Minutes in the Life of a Teenager
2.  Jill of Savor
3.  Jo of Quite Simply Jo
4.  Temi of Christian Mommas
5.  LaBranda of My Thoughts Exactly
6.  Jeanette of My Life With Anxiety, PTSD & Bipolar 2
7.  RB of Realistic Beginner
8.  Anna of Drink the Happy Coffee
9.  Siphe of God’s Anointed Princesses
10. Debbie of Emerging from the Dark Night

Questions for the Nominees:
1. What name do you prefer to be called when bloggers comment on your posts?
2. Is there an award or tag you have not done that you would like to receive?
3. What’s the latest or last book you have read?
4. How many blogs do you have? Name and link them.
5. What funny things have you heard Alexa or other modern voices say?
(For example, today a friend’s little girl was playing with her paper dolls and asked Alexa to play “female crying sound effects”. It was NOT crying baby dolls! Her mom had to explain to her daughter the new word and sounds Alexa taught her little girl, despite no explicit content setting.)

Congratulations to the Nominees! Please do not feel obligated to participate. Just sharing a little of God’s love your way. If you do, let me know. I would love to read your post. 
God loves you! ❤

 

30 Posts Challenge: Follow Up

Hi Guys! Just wanted to share with all of you who came along my journey of posting 30 true aspects about myself that you may not know… the AWARD from our dearest Fatima aka Splendor In Embers! Praise the Lord for using her to challenge me… in many ways!! Wanting to encourage someone I love and care about blessed and encouraged me!

By opening up myself to sharing truths with others, we spoke on these things below:
1. Introducing myself
2. Me and God
3. Me and Writing
4. Me and Anthoni
5. Me and Foster Care, part 1
6. Me and Foster Care, part 2
7. Me and My Fireworks
8. Me and Anxiety, part 1
9. Me and Anxiety, part 2
10. Me and Anxiety, part 3
11. Me and Depression
12. Dying to Self
13. Friday the 13th (A Blessed Day)
14. Designed to Follow
15. How a Devo Becomes A Poem
16. The Devo Poem
17. “Crucify him! Crucify Him!”
18. I Mourn, I Grieve (Edited)
19. What Makes Me Happy
20. River Baptism
21. I Love to Sing Hymns
22. God Speaks, I Listen!
23. Bearing One Another’s Burdens (as a Prayer Warrior)
24. A Friend Loveth at All Times
25. I’m a Very Private Person
26. My Fear of God
27. Ripping Your Heart out
28. My 2017 Solar Eclipse Experience
29. One Last Aspect
30. Challenging You

Along this journey, the Lord used His whispers, His nudges, and His many resources for encouraging me! Lovely A and her Self Care Challenge was a part of those resources! There are others I can’t mention, but you know who you are. Thank You for letting God use you to help me “fly” within God’s gift of life. And what would I do without InnerManTheatre… my patient son for his feedback and tech support (and Anita!).

I praise Him for each of you who took to read  (while patiently waiting for me to learn my way), for reaffirming His whispers (with your likes and follows) to be meant for more than just myself. Your comments allowed God to fill my cup with blessings. And the Awards! So unexpected! All crowns to lay at His feet! God bless you, Lovely A!

My Dearest Fatima, How grateful I am to God for you! For your challenge! For your heart. Please know I am praying for you and your precious family as often as God allows. You’ve always been dear to our family! You ARE family! Thank you for my AWARD!

If you are interested about this Challenge, you might be delightfully surprised to know that you do not have to wait for someone to nominate you, as I have read some of you have for quite some time. You only have to accept and post. See for yourself her 3 rules posted here. Praying for each of you! God loves you! ❤

30 Posts Challenge: #30, Challenging You

Can you believe it, Guys! We made it to 30! Took me long enough, huh! To be honest… I wasn’t so confident I would finish. I can procrastinate, give up, or feel defeated. As you may have read, I was closed off to the world pretty good. I had become so afraid of it. Afraid of living. Those last words were the strongest truth behind doing the challenge.

I was doing an online bible study when I saw Fatima (Splendors in Embers) post her hospital stay after her suicide attempt. I was so concerned for her because I’ve known her since she was in preschool. At first, I was surprised… not just because we didn’t know each other’s personal life like that… but because I was having my own struggle.

I was not in a hospital, but I could not encourage her with lies I was not believing myself at the time, or not willing to LIVE by. I was afraid someone deep in depression would see through anything I post… be further burdened… more encouraged to leave her babies better off without her. And a very selfish part of me, afraid she could expose me… ruin my plans… or talk me out of them without even knowing they were there.

As I did pray for her privately, the Lord led me to do 2 things… 1. Let Fatima know I was praying for her… 2. Let my own therapist know my struggle. With God’s help, I did both. In my struggle, I was avoiding commitment so nothing could hold me back. I knew my faith would not play yoyo with my peace of mind. I was taking my time to be sure.

I began to do Fatima’s challenge using my WordPress to post. With thoughtful prayer I opened my privacy settings on Facebook and WordPress. I told no one so I could close them if need be. When I finished the aspects, I would close everything back. Yet I found myself curious of a self care blog. After I signed up, I realized commitments! But Lovely A had the Lord whispering in her ear… Don’t think of it as commitment.

Before I knew it I had a new friend in Australia, Staffordshire, and Dublin. God’s whispers were heard around the globe, and responded to, and shared. His whispers were no longer just for me. The same thing was happening on my Facebook, my Group page, when I went to church, when I ran into a friend. God used Fatima’s blog. And the patience of someone who listened and kept me from flying. He too had God on His side.

Having said this long post, I challenge you… to open up… to trust… maybe even take Fatima’s 30 Truth Posts Challenge. You can read here below her 3 rules. https://splendorinembers.wordpress.com/2017/06/03/you-are-challenged-do-the-30-post-truth-challenge/
1. Let her know you’re going to do it.
2. Create 30 Posts in whatever media you choose.
3. Let her know when you finish.

Most importantly I encourage you to open up to someone if you are struggling with your darkness. I know I have been vague with the specific terms, but if you are contemplating giving up you know exactly what I am talking about. There is hope… even if it’s just in another day! The Lord made that one too!

30 Posts Challenge: #29, One Last Aspect

Hey Guys. You’re still with me on the 30 Posts Challenge? 29 posts later? Yes, we still have the one after this, but I have that one planned. The challenge was 30 true aspects about myself. This is one I dodge so well, I almost talked myself out of bogging it. I start a sentence then delete, a paragraph, delete, or just sit, trying to get the nerve to say it.

I’ve struggled with eating since I was 13. Now if I don’t delete it, you will read it.

When I was 13, my dad got called to my school. He was told I never eat, and had an eating disorder. I had no knowledge of it, and when my dad asked, I didn’t take it serious. The school had classmates literally follow me to see if I eat, and if I ate what I did afterwards. One was a friend who told me. They had my dad watching. I didn’t eat.

Our counselor sat me down, but I didn’t understand anorexia. I hated to chew. I didn’t know it then but I had fibromyalgia, and hurt when chewing too tough or too long. I thought eating was boring. It took so much time to eat. I didn’t understand I also had digestive issues, and not eating was making it worse.

They brought in outside counseling who tried to bully me into eating. Bad idea. One counselor called my home saying I was at school on drugs, threatening to kill myself. My mom and dad got so mad they were lied to and scared to death. The school was upset enough that they backed off on outside help.

Instead they had teachers talk to all of us. They said Karen Carpenter had just died from it. I’m glad they did because while I was not anorexic, I was doing anorexic like behaviors. The one that was a “deal breaker” was throwing up. I didn’t like doing that anyway. It made me easily sick, and I struggled with throwing up a lot since I was 3.

I remember warnings on losing teeth, a damaged heart, a ruined digestive system, and more. I was diagnosed with a damaged heart valve at 17, was a high risk pregnancy at 18, had a C-section because my baby kept losing his heart beat, lost a 10 year dental battle to dentures by 30, and began stomach meds at 24 and probably won’t get off them.

I learned later it was some to do with going without food a lot. My dad gave us Pepto-Bismol often to keep our stomachs from hurting. I saw on TV people who had food and missed a meal would be sick. I was afraid to eat then hurt because in my mind I didn’t know hunger, and didn’t want to, especially since people did bad things when they did.

As I started taking meds I got sick, almost passing out in public. That and having gall bladder surgery at 28 got me eating. Physically unable by 35 to walk 5 miles like I use to, swim all day, ride bikes, or work hard caused weight gain. My docs say 80-100 lbs. are meds. The battle’s been so long, my docs who knew me as active are gone, and docs I gain now believe I’ve always been big. One insisted I prove I was EVER small with pics.

SO… now you know.

I’m looking into bariatric surgery, as surrender that without physical activity it’s highly unlikely I’ll get it off, or may gain more. I’m afraid of diabetes, liver disease, and complicating my spinal issues. I’m afraid of being at the mercy of others, especially as an obese patient. If life is going to take me out because I can’t be active, I get tempted to think it’s best not to take part now. That is the Lord’s call. I do not want to give up. In praying about it, that is why I consider it…. to save my life.

30 Posts Challenge: #28, My 2017 Solar Eclipse Experience

Hi Guys. Did you survive your solar eclipse day… lol? I know you have your story to tell. So many people were doing different things, and had different kinds of reactions to their experience… or lack of. It’s hard to believe it was just yesterday. Well, except for all of the traffic trying to head home.

A few months back, ads and news reports were saying there was coming a solar eclipse. Later people were panicking because the special glasses were running out of supply. People were making lavish plans in areas for 100% total eclipse… meaning the moon would cover the entire sun with an outer glow perfectly encircling the moon. This could make one go blind or have permanent eye damage. Scientist were saying cameras weren’t safe. It would destroy them. There were ways to view… i.e. welding glasses, etc.

My son asked me, “If that time is so dangerous it can kill camera lenses, is it safe for us to be out there even with protective glasses?” We watched from the porch (away from the sun). My brother let his security cameras record. When I told him of the warning, he simply replied, “I’ve got spares.” He wasn’t missing footage… lol. This is one of his pics.

As time drew near, we began watching NASA footage online. My son went to make it reflect to the ground. It worked enough to be exciting to cast something happening in the skies to the ground, but it was a white dot on cardboard. Just as the eclipse was drawing near its end, our neighbor drove in. He pulled out his old welding helmet. He offered us each a turn to look. It was such a difference!

Before putting on the helmet, the sky had a hue as if dusk was setting in. Even the crickets were singing loudly. After putting on the helmet and looking up, everything was black except the sun ring around the moon! How incredible was that! It was so brief, but it was like God saying, “Here. Have a peek at my wonders. It is pretty amazing!”

This was extra meaningful to me as I asked God earlier that morning (4:30am) if there was a friend we had to look into His sky… with a telescope. I get amazed at God’s beauty. It was dark, but I could easily see God! And God being His personal loving self,  answered a prayer in a way I would have never expected. Thank you, Neighbor! God bless you!

Soon it was all over. People in many places were upset because of cloud coverage, or simply let down from what they were expecting. Personally, I think science makes it out bigger than what it is to get people’s attention, but end up disappointing them far worse. So that’s my 2017 Solar Experience (later dubbed on the news as the Great American Solar Eclipse). My stepdad slept through the whole thing. What’s yours?

30 Posts Challenge: #27, Ripping Your Heart Out

It’s hard ripping your heart out when you believe you have found love… the love of your life. When the only reason you are walking away is because God tells you this is not the one. If there were not that reason, everything would be perfect. At least that’s what you think… because the world is telling you so. Your heart is telling you it is. But Christ, who is your first love insists it’s not love He has chosen for you. There is nothing wrong with this person as a friend, but the love that draws you in is not of God.

The Lord says clearly, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV. You have believed in Christ so long, you no longer recognize words that deceive. Confusion sets in because the one who is sending these mixed messages is Satan himself. By the time you hear James 2:19 warning “Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble”, Satan no longer bothers with you. Your heart is so filled with a false sense of love that you don’t even realize you are waist high in quicksand.

This love… why is it so wrong? Especially when it is so strong? This person is not a bad person. You know God loves them. You know He died for them. You’ve heard them say God told them to be good to you before they lose you. Why is God asking you to rip your heart out? to rip theirs out? what if there is never love again? Christ has such little room in your heart with you pushing Him out with each plea to live in this fairytale that is misery in disguise… for both of you… when it is not what God wants. You are so persuaded by the world’s idea of love and the overwhelming consensus that this is the one for you that you do not remember that if Christ is not in it, then it is not of God, and is not love. If you had listened to God in the beginning, you would not be confused. You would not have another soul wrapped up in the same false hope.

Suddenly, as your head is just about to go under, you see a hand and recognize it to be yours. What has gotten your attention was the feel of a rope. Your first Love is throwing you a lifeline, trying to save you from your self destruction. The little bit of Christ still in your heart reaches out for the rope. Christ pulls it, even with you looking back. He holds you as you cry. He know what it’s like to know love and lose it… and by His grace He just rescued her. He lets her know He understands her need for love, to be wanted, to be thought of as special, to have someone be protective, and to feel that love make them smile. He promises there will be love again. Even if He is that Love. Christ shows you the loss of love was worth the sacrifice, just like He thought you were on cavalry.

30 Posts Challenge: #26, My Fear of God

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.” – Proverbs 9:10 KJV. God tells us the wisest thing we can do is fear Him, and He promises that knowledge of the Holy One will be understanding. It is not a tyrannical fear of someone who wants our first born thrown into a fire. It is a reverent fear in recognition of His omnipotent sovereignty.

I love God with all my heart, mind, soul, and body. I humbly fear Him as He rightly deserves. Having said that, I must be honest that I struggle with unhealthy and unfair fear of Him at times. Sometimes I believe it comes from our church preaching fire and brimstone, making me afraid that Satan was waiting to push me in the lake of fire. On top of this my mom would tell us Satan or God was coming in the night because of whatever we did to make her mad. But Jude 1:22-23 tell us “And of some have compassion, making a difference: and others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.” God deemed I needed both.

There is also the fear of losing someone or something I love. I lost my first hero, my granddad, when I was 8. He saved my life when I fell out of a car, but I could not save his. Shortly after his death, my siblings and I were put into foster care. I tried to figure out what I did wrong to my granddad, my dad, my mom, and God to make them mad. It seemed ever time I got close to someone they either died, moved, or were simply gone. I used to think God got mad if I loved someone more than Him.

I believe God used those times to teach me to love Him above all others because He gave me those who loved me and that I loved. Secondly, He taught me to cherish time with anyone, whether a friend, family, or lover, or whether for an hour or years, by thanking Him for those persons. As I became thankful, it seemed I had a season of gain in love, friendships, and a growing family. Our dysfunctional family became a healthy family.

But then losses started coming… often… and personal. The more people you know and love, the more people you have to lose. It’s just the cost of living… at least that what depression tells me. My God tells me it is His blessing to have loved… and what feels like loss… is gain. I’m the one losing. My loved one has gained new life… eternal life. I would never drag them back into this wretched and evil life, just to worry about them experiencing death again because “I” suffer.

The losses pour the poison of depression into my wounds. The grief chokes at my hope. But I know someone who knows my loss. He lost His Son to save my life, and the lives of family & friends. He watched His Son die a cruel death, and be mocked as He suffered. Yes, He resurrected His Son. But His Son suffered His own loss of friends & family.

We often forget about God suffering, watching His Son die. We don’t count it the same for a God we do not know, to suffer cruelty and heartache, to watch His only Son die! We forget Jesus wept as His friend Lazarus lay in the grave. Yes, Jesus did resurrect Lazarus. But there is one other death that gets overlooked that was cruel and heartless.

When I have cried to Jesus about my Lazarus not coming back (my baby brother Charlie who was killed at 37), He reminds me of His beloved Cousin John the Baptist who was beheaded because of a jealous woman, a prideful and lustful man, and a temptress of a daughter. John’s head was served on a platter as a party favor in a room of laughing people. He was NOT resurrected. Matthew 11:11 and Luke 7:8 both say, “Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist.” So my Jesus knows exactly how I feel to have lost beloved family in a cruel way, where someone stood and laughed as he laid dead, the same someone who played a role in his death. But I know Jesus will look after my brother as His Father looked after John till He got home!

I know this doesn’t really address the fear in the way I can struggle with it. But there are a few things that scripture tells me that I cling to when my depression or anxiety, and sometimes both try to choke the life and hope out of me.
1. Satan is the Father of Confusion. “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.” – 1 Corinthians 4:13 KJV
2. Jesus knew what anxiety felt like when HE took on human flesh to experience what we experience. “And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” – Luke 22:44 KJV
3. My lack of understanding everything is not God failing to keep His promise. He allows me to understand Holy things about Him… which includes His awareness of my tendency to fear. All over His word He says Fear not, Be not afraid.
4. Lastly, trusting in the love and grace of my Savior Jesus Christ, the one who has felt and understands anxiety, loss, grief, fear… brings me a whole new promise from God. “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7 KJV. When I fear because I don’t understand everything about my God and His will, the love of Christ will give me peace beyond all understanding. I believe this because I’m blessed to experience it every day of my life. It’s hard to explain, but even in “feeling” fear or hopelessness, I do still have His peace!

 

Things That Need to Be Said

Friends, as you know I have been doing the 30 Posts Challenge and am almost to 30. And you also know I have been saying let me know if you want me to post on something. It is has been interesting to see what others want to know, and just interesting to see what I actually know… lol.

A friend has asked me to talk on my fear of God, fear of losing people/things, and not being perfect. Truth be told, I avoid things like this and any thing I know will not come out positive and cheerful because I struggle with depression. I sometimes fear it looks bad on God. I want to be encouraging and uplifting.

Today was an extremely thought provoking day. To share it with you is not all roses, but sometimes encouragement comes from being honest with one another. There are things that need to be said, for me anyway. I hope to do that with you here in a little bit.

I will be praying for God’s wisdom and guidance. If you will pray with me… any time, I would appreciate and ask God to bless each one who prays with me.

P.S. Below is what were the Things That Need to Be Said.
My Fear of God
Thanks for keeping me accountable, and for the prayers.

30 Posts Challenge: #25, I’m a Very Private Person

Hey Guys and Gals, we are to number 25. I have been saving that one to let you know that I am a very private person and after the 30 Posts Challenge I will be changing my FB settings to private in all ways possible, with an exception to my WordPress for now. I did not tell my friend who challenged me that I was going to open myself up to the world. It would just be during the posts, provided I had no problems. To draw no attention to myself or other friends who are very private also, I told no one.

I make all of my FB settings for just Friends. Not even friends of friends. I am not listed in any directory. Someone must know my e-mail address, or see my name in anything FB requires to be public. They are only then able to send an inbox message. If I recognize a threat or something just not to be a good idea, I block them.

So… this is just to let you know if you want to keep in touch on FB, you need to request to add me while you can see me… especially if you want to continue to see my poetry… you will need to have me add you to the Gail’sPoetry group.

For now you can still see the WordPress blogs without needing a password. I will be leaving those settings public… as long as there is not a problem. You might want to look into getting a password though, as I am praying about adding a new page or 2.

30 Posts Challenge: #24, A Friend Loveth at All Times

Alright, I know a lot of you read that title and think… yeah right. I know because my own cynical mind says the same thing whenever I see things like that… or when I struggle with “Do I really want to use that title? No one loves at ALL times.” If that is what the Lord gives, that is what I write. It is from scripture: “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17 KJV.  We are the ones who often forget what it means to love and have a friend.

We think because we don’t “feel” loving, or are not “being” as friendly as we could be that we are not friends. Just because we can feel angry, disappointed, offended, or lots of emotions it does not mean we do not still love someone. We are capable of multiple emotions at one time.

How we are with our children is a perfect example. We may have to correct, discipline, and even be held accountable to others for the behavior of our children. These times can frustrate us, confuse us, and discourage us, but it does not mean we don’t love them.

Friendship sometimes blesses us with a soul who knows what we are going through, because they are or have too, and share so many things in common, making life so delightful. Sometimes friendships are opposites on the same side from time to time, and are better balanced from the differences. God gives all kinds of friends. Including the best friendship you could ever hope for.

Jesus is the strongest, truest, most faithful friend one has. Even if you do not know it right now, care about it or not, or even want nothing to do with Him… He loves you! That is what a friend does… loveth at all times. We understand better when we see touching stories of someone who tries to be a friend to someone who is so horrible to them, and somehow in the end wins them over. It’s one of the most common movie themes.

Christ saw we were miserable, and our death was only going to make it worse. Satan tries to tell us death is the answer to our problems, but what a horrible and tragic lie. Christ came to take our place in that misery. When He returned to the Father, He knew we would receive the Holy Spirit to comfort us now, along our journey. He also ensured eternal peace with our Father in heaven. He left us an example.

“This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.” – John 15:12-14 KJV

30 Posts Challenge: #23, Bearing One Another’s Burdens (as a Prayer Warrior)

I never thought I’d be a NICU mom. The one who sits in quiet, loving agony beside the bed of a fragile little baby, watching the numbers fluctuate on the monitors. But I’ve been living through that experience for over a month now. When William was born, five and a half weeks early, he came […]

via Out of the Depths — From the depths

30 Posts Challenge: #22, God Speaks, I listen.

Ye shall not respect persons in judgment; but ye shall hear the small as well as the great; ye shall not be afraid of the face of man; for the judgment is God’s: and the cause that is too hard for you, bring it unto me, and I will hear it.  – Deuteronomy 1:17 KJV

Today a friend and I were talking about something that has bothered me for quite awhile. I was addressing the fact that important factors about an issue were not MY thoughts when I had believed they were for so long. It was important because it is something that seemed to bother me more that I thought it did in just believing they were my thoughts. As I kept thinking on this while going about my day, and trying to do some reading, the Lord gave me these verses above.

They were verses of God leading His people to a promised land, but there were doubts holding them back. As I got to verse 17, I sensed the Lord speaking to me regarding the conversation with my friend, and the guidance that I had once mistrusted because of the qualifications this person of the past had in my life to make such a judgment, and had my confidence. I doubted the voice of a little girl who knew better. Anger created a new fear…. many fears… fears and doubts that I still try to sort out. But as I read this verse, I hear God telling me to bring what is too hard for me to Him.

While I have a lot of respect for this person who helped in so many ways long ago, my God is telling me NOT to have respect for someone just because he is in a position to judge… to listen to the voice of that little girl who was there. The judge was not. What is too hard for me to understand… or is simply too hard… I am to bring to my God, my Father. It is hard… it is too much… but I bring it to Him and He is faithful to hear. He is a promise keeper. He is arms wide open, and a place to lay my weary head with someone who was also there. He knows better than I.

I thank my God for His word, for His whispers, for His angels He sends my way in friends… like the one I was talking with today… and the one who gave me the challenge to be reading… for those who are willing to listen… to just be there… to help me sort it out. God shows up in many ways, and makes His presence so known.

30 Posts Challenge: #21, I Love Singing Hymns

For those of you still following my journey of 30 aspects about me you may not know, we are getting closer to 30. So if there is something you would like to know, throw it at me. As for now, I want to share with you how much I love to sing hymns.

I really love to sing whatever God gives me, but He has placed a special place in my heart for hymns. Most are simply scripture put to music. They help us learn and remember God’s promises, truths, and His love for us. They also remind us of what Christ has done for us, the importance of reaching out to others with the same love given us, and that there will be a day of reckoning and eternal peace.

Now I have been in choirs off and on through school and church, but am NOT a professional singer, and have not been in a choir for years. Choir is therapeutic in that when I did not feel like singing, I still had to. And of course God’s word would lift my Spirits, and my troubles were made small. But life made some changes.

I lost my ability to look people in the eye and speak audibly. I eventually realized the complication but became so accustomed to hiding in the congregation, just lip syncing, and gave up being in choir. It took years for God to work with me in lifting my voice without closing it every time I knew someone could hear it. My health progressed to a point that it is hard to be reliable for a choir, so instead the Lord has me focused on singing for Him… out of obedience… for setting a good example (especially for my son)… to praise Him… with an actual voice… and to gain and keep the confidence I need in Him.

A few years back, my son and I were at church, and his music professor was teaching Sunday School. He challenged and encouraged everyone to read one hymn a night with their family devotions and sing it together. He emphasized that most people don’t know all of the words to one song, not even their favorite. He said it was because they don’t learn the message first. So my son and I started doing just that. What a difference!

My memory is not as excited as I am about the hymns and their messages, but my heart surely is. Sometimes I simply recite them, as best I can. Even when I am hurting, confused, or just struggling to keep it all together. Hymns are as healing and comforting as God’s word itself… and as it should be. The stories of the hymn writers are like reading parables on God’s disciples. I just can’t get enough of either. I am constantly singing around my family and close friends from morning to night. You really should check into learning a hymn! God has some very personal messages in them for you! He loves you!

30 Posts Challenge: #20, River Baptism

“Well, Irene, we finally did it! We finally got to one of those river baptisms we always wanted to watch.” This was what came to mind Sunday when my stepdad and I went to a river baptism, something Irene and I had been trying to do for years. She’s been gone 10 months, but would’ve loved it. She would’ve gotten in the water with them. Or she would’ve loved to watch our local church baptize 32 people in that river.
It would’ve started with parking and walking.

If you look in the 2nd row, 7 cars down, on the other side of the red truck, that was me and Bobby! When we saw this picture being taken, we were (from your view) on the far right just under the trees, sharing a picnic table with a lovingly family of 6 from Africa. After we had parked, we had a good walk, a rough walk. For those of you who do not know, I have disease and damage all over my spine, and struggle with feet and leg problems as well. Last fall, I was barely walking, unable to lay down or sit back, or move my neck, After a lot of physical therapy, nerve blocks, and medicines, I am at least able to walk better and stand, but for limited times and limited situations. My stepdad had a stroke in April of 2015, and while he is recovered, he too is limited with walking, standing, and struggles with breathing. But the Lord provided a chance to see 32 people “buried in His likeness, and risen in His newness of life.” WE did not want to miss it.

We walked around to look at the river, saw people along the banks, some which eventually went into a huddle with the Pastor, stood for about 45 minutes, and then  we heard them offering hotdogs. Bobby and I got in line, speaking to several faces we knew and meeting new ones. We got our dogs and a water, then spotted a good friend who offered us to share his table with him, his wife and 4 kids. It was so awesome to hear them speaking their African language to each other as a family, even the littlest ones. The mom had one of the black shirts on that said All In, which meant she was going in.
When it was time, the crowds were so long and everywhere along the river. Bobby and I were struggling just to walk, and hang on to see the ones we came to watch. The picture just above is a friend of my deceased brother. He was baptized, then allowed to stand with his daughter as she was baptized, and was offered to help lean her back. My brother would have loved this.
Below you will see 2 pictures with 2 children: the 1st when they were small. They use say hey to Bobby at church when we met them. The 2nd picture is them now. Bobby wanted to see the brother baptized. The older sister told us her best friend was also being baptized, and that the Pastor was letting her help baptize her brother and best friend.

We did not get to SEE any of the baptisms literally in the water (we praise God for those who took pictures), but we did hear the cheers each time someone was baptized, and all of heaven was cheering with us! We got to congratulate people as they came up the river bank. It was a struggle to walk back to the car, but the whole day was worth it! We are not the least bit discouraged for next time. We are better aware… be prepared with portable chairs and a camera! Praise God for the day He gave us… and all those baptized.
Oh and thank you to everyone who gave permission to use the pictures! God loves you!

30 Posts Challenge: #19 What Makes Me Happy

Hey, Y’all. I’ve been trying to think of the next aspect to share. I’m also doing another challenge I became interested in, 21 Day Self Care Challenge, which is on Day 7 and asks us what makes us happy. Happiness is definitely an aspect at the root of each one of us, whether we care about it or not. Our lives tend to reflect if we are happy or not. Anyone who knows me knows exactly what makes me happy… God. ❤

Watching 32 people be baptized in the river was truly the highlight of my day yesterday. Lord willing, I will blog about that soon. There are many ways and people He uses to make me happy, and to get through times when I am not so happy. Writing, music, books, movies, sermons, hymns, and even quiet times are just a few things He uses to cheer and to comfort me. Friends, family, church family, Facebook friends, WordPress Friends, and even complete strangers can be a genuine whisper from God.

Favorite things can be a day or the Blue Ridge Parkway. So many people travel so far to see moments of what are our backroads. Whether driving with the windows down, wind in my hair, hand hanging out, just enjoying such a beautiful feeling, or taking walks along the roadside, the bridge, or just looking out over the viewing areas. Such beauty. What a special pleasure God has given us.

I have the privilege quite often to have those favorite things together… riding with my delightful son up to park, and just sit and talk, or just sit and listen and watch. Sometimes I go take a walk across the bridge while he spends his own quiet time with the Lord.