Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 3 of 6

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The emblem pictures that I have been using for each week as the feature picture for our bible study has a misprint for week 3  as you can see below… it still has week Truth Two: See It Like It Really Is” written on it.RLLBS.2019.16

This could just be God reminding us to keep seeing it like it really is as He also reminds us of Truth Three: “You Don’t Always Have To Be Okay.”

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The verse for the week was 1 John 5:14
“And this is the confidence that we have in him,
that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us.”

This was truly representative of my week, and the the whole study so far. Between so many tests, procedures, and therapies (all for my good), I am exhausted. And can you believe that I kept forgetting that I was fighting a sinus infection?? The good thing was it wasn’t one of those sinus infections where I was miserable in my sinuses and blowing like crazy, or being stuffed miserably. It was just a lot of continuous blood, scabbing inside, and occasionally very stuffed (as during one of my procedures.) I could not do an antibiotic during some procedures or they would be cancelled. I needed them too much to risk that. When I got the green light, I was put on a 10 day prescription. It took about 5 days for the scabbing to finally heal. Sometimes I still have blood, but I really believe it’s the scabbing coming off from using the vaseline inside.

I only tell you this because following God’s lead in these studies helped me to deal with them so much better, and they were very rough days. Some more mentally, emotionally, and spiritually challenging than anything. I think of you my dear friends who struggle in many of your own chronic illnesses and nightmare procedures. Our dear Caz was so unfortunate to experience her visit she shared with us in her Mini Me Update: A&E Emergency Surgery. I hated having to see her suffer in her picture, but that was such a raw and honest cry of someone in pain and it seemed like the world didn’t care, was even cruel in their own way, or at least could do nothing to help her as much as they were trying.

I would think of her when my pain was so unbearable the tears I was trying to withhold in front of the techs doing my testing failed to stay inside. It helped me to remain silent despite the intense pain when I realized the techs WANTED my screams and cries. How cruel, yet I had to be appreciative, or at least still until they were through. I mean I was hooked up to their fun in causing torture. When they finally realized I was crying and quiet, they actually tried to cheer me (to comfort me) by telling me (with enthusiasm and great delight) how they had a young man curled up in the corner of the bed, afraid to let them touch him…. joyfully calling him a coward. I looked at her with great disgust and told her “How horrible! That must have been so painful for him!” I admit my tone was not as fitting as it should have been with the clear disgust intended, but it was filled with the devastation for that young man. And it will be voiced clear and properly on my feedback to the hospital!

I also thought of my dear friends Wendi of Simply Chronically Ill, Tasha of Pain Warrior Code, Caralyn of Beauty Beyond Bones, and so many more. I talk of a lot of you, and my precious blogging community as a whole. How blessed I am that God led me to such wonderful dear friends… family… around the world! And all from trusting His lead to start blogging… first to Him… then in trusting Him to open my settings to public. My reward… a world of love… literally. So I openly share with you that I am not okay lately... and that’s okay! My God says it is! And it’s okay to share it with you because He reminds me you may need it. I don’t worry about likes, views, and numbers. If you only knew how many of your posts I read without getting a chance to like, or comment. And I AM the one who was blessed by them.

Oh my.. I need to finish this post to make it to night 4 of 6… tonight! LOL

I forgot to mention a very important factor… Keitha was not there this week 😦 As many of you know she leads the bible study… with a huge heart for God, and her own lovely personality God gave her. She was speaking at a weekend convention. While I missed her hug, I was so glad for her and praying for her!!

She had Beth fill in, and one of the most amazing thing Beth did to make a point about comparison was a magazine she had in front of us. She counted how many pages were for ads compared to how many total pages were in the magazine. There were well OVER half the magazine…. most of them being skin care or something to do with catering to (or pushing the notion of) changing something about ourselves, implying we weren’t acceptable. I counted magazines everywhere I had an appointment this week… the same result!

 

  1. Picture one above is my poor badge after I accidentally left with it on week 2 and put it in my jacket pocket so I would not forget it. I smoothed it out a LITTLE bit, but the damage is done. Oh well. See Like It Really Is.. right?? To my poor badge, “You Don’t Always Have To Be Okay.” 😉
  2. Picture two was my prayer card to write my new prayer request on, and my ticket for door prizes. Let me tell you, God touched me so! I wrote my prayer request after thinking all week that Truth 3 was the same See It Like It Really Is,” and feeling like God just wanted me to accept that I wasn’t ok. That I was tired, to be honest and make others accept the same. So my prayer request was to help my spirit listen to the Holy Spirit’s whisper to rest and accept that I am not okay! Then I got to the room for the video and heard her talking about us accepting that we are not ok! How clear is God!! And so loving!!
  3. Picture 3 are all the prayer requests I have received so far. I pray for them each time I study. We are praying for a 39 yr old who was a part of our class but suddenly found she had stage 4 metastatic breast cancer… ironically her name is Nikki too. (not the author of the study, and I hope I spelled her name correctly.)

Here are more personal daily prayers we write for God. Again, there are 5 days, but for some reason only 3 of my pictures survived. Sorry. I’ll just thank God I have the 3! 🙂

 

I loved this quote below.
IMG_20190324_152804Faith does not mean that everything is going to turn out okay.
Faith means we trust God even when things aren’t going okay.

I thank God for the study, the ladies, my doctors, therapists, family, friends, church families, blogging family, and everything that God gives.

Dear friend, God loves you! He wants you to know too:
“You Don’t Always Have To Be Okay.”

“And this is the confidence that we have in him, that,
if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us.”
– 1 John 5:14

Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 2 of 6 (Follow Up)

RLLBS2019.2.1So I am finally posting the follow up to week 2 of 6 in the
Rachel & Leah: What Two Sisters Teach Us About Combating Comparison.
Written by Nicki Koziarz.RLLBS2019.2.3Truth Two (aka Week 2) was See It Like It Really Is
The verse was Proverbs 31:30. “Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting,
but a woman who fear the Lord will be praised.” (NIV)

The King James Version read “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”

I was able to do the homework designed to be done a little each day for 5 days. Each one beginning with a few lines to write your own daily prayer to God. I don’t know why I only have 4 pictures because I did each day. I can only use my little brother’s favorite excuse… “I’ve slept since then.” And I have… a lot! Yes, I am still dealing with exhaustion.

 

I actually enjoyed these little prayers so much that I missed them on days 6 & 7. I was blessed to get the homework that came along with it done too, but it sure did hit so personal each time. I was grateful my health was another strong issue so that I didn’t have to deal with the first answers that came to mind when asked questions. I felt like the chaotic mess mentioned on this page.RLLBS2019.2.6“You may also be living in a chaotic mess – a cycle of sin, a continual battle of comparison that seems to hold you captive and is threatening to define you. Know that the sovereign God has not abandoned you. His love has and will always be a CONSTANT in your life. He is working in your midst, guiding you, and wanting to empower you to break out of the chaos. You don’t have to live like this.”

There was a pretty cool chart that had 3 columns
1. When Comparison Makes Me Believe I Am…
2. I’ll Read…
3. And It Will Remind Me…

 

During discussions I told the ladies one of my answers for “When Comparison Makes Me Believe…” was Selfish, and that when I told my son Anthoni I was trying to think of a verse in the bible that would help me to combat feeling selfish, he reminded me of 1 John 3: 20 “For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.” I was so caught off guard when one of the ladies quickly said to me, “Well done, Momma!” God can use the most amazing ways to encourage us!

I loved filling out this list of telling God what I’m still longing for…RLLBS2019.2.11

– Heaven
– Him
– To never disappoint Him again
– To do all that He asks of me
– His presence
– His wisdom
– His leading

But I admit the one at the bottom of the page shamed me a little. I’m glad He searches our hearts and tries us. It is good to see any cleaning or reality check necessary.RLLBS2019.2.12

This was interesting too. I thought I’d share it with you, if you’re interested. Hope you can see it. I will post the answer page below.RLLBS2019.2.13

RLLBS2019.2.14I was MOSTLY 1s:
You tend to compare yourself to others in the realm of Physical Appearance.

This just confirms what I already said about wishing for the health I use to have, even more so when watching others.

So that was week 2 follow up. I forgot I was fighting a sinus infection too. But God helped me through, and I am grateful for all He gave! And I am grateful for all the health that I do have, and the medical help in maintaining that. I do not begrudge others their health. Quite often it encourages me to see what others can. Comparison can be a very cruel thing. Yet it can be a very helpful and healthy way of reminding us to give God all of His praise… even in that which we are unable to understand.

Jacob, Leah, Rachel and even the handmaids Zilpah and Bilhah were all in unfair situations that could not be undone. But the circumstances did not have to determine how they would choose to deal with things. It is only for God to judge each one of us stuck in our situations, while still stuck in our human flesh.

I pray for you in your circumstances and your personal feelings. More importantly, I pray for your relationship with God. Trust Him! He knows better than anyone the unfairness done to you, the things you cannot change, and the way you honestly feel about it. Believe it or not… God does love you!.

Though He Were A Son

“And he taketh with him Peter and James and John,
and began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy;
And saith unto them,
My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death:
tarry ye here, and watch.”
– Mark 14:33-34 KJV

“Who in the days of his flesh,
when he had offered up prayers and supplications
with strong crying and tears
unto him that was able to save him from death,

and was heard in that he feared;
Though he were a Son,
yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;
And being made perfect,
he became the author of eternal salvation
unto all them that obey him;
Called of God an high priest after the order of Melchisedec.”
– Hebrews 5:7-10 KJV

Popsicle Humor part 2

My stepdad Bobby and I are enjoying more popsicles riddles,
and because you loved them we wanted to share again!
Hope God gives you another smile! 🙂
Me and God love you each one!

What did the gum say to the shoe?
– I’m stuck on you.

What animal has the best sense of time?
– A watchdog.

What can you catch, but not throw?
– Your breath.

What do raspberries do when they get together?
– They have jam sessions.

PS… I’ve also been enjoying the God Is My Happy Place series on Life With Jesus, and thought I would share it with you as well! She has 12 so far. They have been such an encouragement to me as God has allowed me moments along the way to read them.

 

Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 2 of 6

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God, You’ve been so good to allow me to make it for night 2 of 6 in the
Rachel & Leah: What Two Sisters Teach Us About Combating Comparison.
Written by Nicki Koziarz.

I made it just in time, after I had just spent a couple of hours sitting in a parking lot catching up on reading our homework. In reading, I finally noticed it was meant to be a little reading each day. It is designed in a very friendly manner to making time in one’s day. And having daily reading is always good soul food. Adding daily writing is such a blessing too. It allows one to take the material with you more. I will make a better effort this week ahead and the others, with your help.

Truth Two (aka Week 2) is See It Like It Really Is
The verse is Proverbs 31:30. Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting,
but a woman who fear the Lord will be praised. (NIV)

The King James Version reads “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”

Both serve the purpose in helping us to understand that charming ways are deceptive, favor can be deceitful, beauty can be vain and fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord… she shall be praised. Following the Lord, insteading of competing or flattering one another is always wiser. Being favored or showing favor makes us mindful of what we think and expect of each other. Being in God’s favor and mindful of His beauty, being focused on what He thinks and expects of us helps us to discipline the human tendency of comparison.

Thank You, God, for the snacks! Thank You for the discussions. Thank You for Nicki’s video. Thank You for Keitha’s leadership. Thank You for helping me to remember the Bloom book and the Coloring Journal. Thank You for my small group during prayer time. Thank You for trusting me with others’ new prayers to carry through the week. Thank You for giving me the courage to pray out loud when it was my turn. Thank You that my nerve blocks have been on Mondays this time so far instead of on the same day. Thank You for Keitha hugs! And for every hug You allow! Sisters in Christ are so loving! ❤

I look forward to meeting You each day this week in our book. Help me to See It Like It Really Is…. it being life… my health… my weaknesses… my need for others… my need to be there for others… Your love for us! Help me to keep my mind on You. May I always have reverent fear for You. I would be a fool not to.

Thank You for loving us, Father! I love You! ❤
PS… Maybe next week I’ll get pics! It’s up to You! 🙂

Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 1 of 6 (Follow Up)

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Lord, This is meant to be a note to follow up for those You are allowing me to share the bible study You are currently allowing me to do.
Rachel & Leah: What Two Sisters Teach Us About Combating Comparison.
Written by Nicki Koziarz. 

To follow the theme of Week One:
You Need To Be Honest,
RLLBS.2019.10I need to be honest in saying I did not get a chance to even do my homework until the the last hour or two before night 2. I was pulled off in a parking lot and realized right off… Oh no, this was a daily homework thing. So I did the best I could. Look for questions and comments I could answer.

I made it back to the church and realized I didn’t even bring in a camera. Thank You for the picture from last week! At least I remembered to bring the Bloom book by Caralyn, and the Coloring Journal. I gave those to Keitha (an assignment from You that took months to achieve.) I sat down with the ladies just in time before we began.

While we were having snacks and sharing our discussion, it would be right near the last conversation that You gave me a very clear message from Keitha! She was talking about the verse we were using for the week…

Psalm 139:1 “Lord, you have searched me and known me.”

In the homework it had said to read verses 1-16 of the chapter, and advised reading the whole chapter. I have loved this chapter for so long, so of course I read it all. When Keitha started talking about God knowing our thoughts… ALL of them… and still loving us… and she said this with excitement and amazement… and a “Girlfriend!” added on….

THAT was the whole week for me right there!

I hadn’t even realized that was the lesson. Because while I did have the nerve block that wiped me and left me feeling so amazingly calm and good, and very tired, I also struggled with thoughts! All kinds of random thoughts of past abuse, childhood memories, the filth I lived, the filth I’ve seen, the cruelty among people, family problems, sibling fighting, and more. These questions in the study just from the 1st night had stirred a lot of this. And as much as I would pray to the Lord for forgiveness and help to resist these thoughts, especially to stop interfering with praying and getting things done, it seemed like a battle I was losing. The only determination I seemed to follow through on was getting something read before night 2!

And there it was… YOU KNEW MY THOUGHTS! AND LOVE ME ANYWAY!
I felt You personally saying… “And that was YOUR lesson for the week.”

From there I sensed Your leading to do a follow up to what I learned in the week, but this week it is exactly what the theme was… I have to be honest and say I didn’t get it read until just before night 2. Which meant I did not get anything accomplished between the physical issues and my thoughts, but I DID learn MY lesson for the week.

YOU KNOW ME! YOU KNOW MY THOUGHTS!
AND I AM STILL LOVED BY YOU! ❤

That’s what the verse had been all week…
Lord, thou hast searched me and known me! – Psalm 139:1

When Keitha said, “That’s what it’s all about. He knows where we are, what we are going through, what’s coming at us, and the thoughts we can’t seem to get away from. Girlfriend, He even knows when it’s all our own doing. But He loves us!” You immediately brought to mind the song You have just recently introduced me to… Known by Tauren Wells.

If I just allow myself to be honest about whatever is coming between You and me, no matter how much I fear I shouldn’t have that problem if I have You, no matter how much I fear You will be disappointed, and I just don’t want to do anything to hurt You. But in being honest, I am trusting You with what You already know… ME! No matter what comes at me or I simply need to hand over to You, I need to trust You.
I want to trust You! I do trust You! I trust You like no one else!

Lastly, You give me Jeremiah 17:7-8
“Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.”

A Little Fun with Popsicle Humor

My 85 yr old stepdad (Bobby) and I thought we would share a little fun with you in some popsicle humor. You have to eat these popsicles first to read the joke on the stick. At the most, they sometimes show enough of the joke on the bottom of the handle to make you think on the question, but you still have to enjoy your popsicle to read the answer.
They’ve put a few smiles on our faces. We pray they do the same for you!  🙂

Where did the elephant store his suitcase?
– In his trunk

What is a cow’s favorite activity?
– Going to the moovies

What did the beach say when the tide came in?
– Long time no sea

What do you call a store owned by apes?
– A monkey business

What do cows do when they are first introduced?
– They give each other a milkshake

What do you feed disappearing cats?
– Evaporating milk

What has two hands, but no arms?
– A clock

Why was the elf late for an appointment?
– He was all wrapped up

Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 1 of 6

Father God, How delightful You are to me time and time again! Day after day! And this last Thursday (3.7.19), You poured such love and attention to my soul… a Ketiha Bible Study!!! 🙂

Rachel & Leah: What Two Sisters Teach Us About Combating Comparison.
Written by Nicki Koziarz. 
RLLBS2019.22I was excited from the moment Keitha announced it.

RLLBS.2019.20I am grateful You allowed me to sign up and make the first night.
After getting signed in, I found my badge.

got my book, was given my schedule, a poster of all of the images with the theme and verse for each week, and a ticket for door prizes.

It was so nice to say hey to Keitha and the ladies. It’s always so good to hear the busy hum of so many voices just talking away all over the room.  We were give a small piece of purple paper for any prayer requests we had.
(I mentioned my cervical nerve blocks coming up on Monday 3.11.19)RLLBS.2019.23

We were given a white index card to think on what we think You might be preparing to talk about with each of us individually as we spend the next few weeks studying Rachel & Leah, and the struggle of comparison. I think I dropped mine while leaving because I don’t have it to take a picture to share. 😦

We were given another but smaller piece of purple sticky note, but I missed why. I stuck it in the front of my book to keep up with it.RLLBS.2019.9

We went around the table doing introductions. We gave our names, our churches we attend, and how we came to hear about the study, as well as answered if there was anything we struggled with in comparing with others. Oh and of course all while having a bite with the snacks provided… taco chips, shredded cheese, lettuce, hamburger meat cooked taco style, grape tomatoes, (all in a little plastic bowl made a nice taco salad), water, and desert. My desert was some kind of foreign named banana bread that started with b. I can’t get remember if it was Belgium or Bovarin, but I know what starts with g… good! 🙂 With my spoonful of meat having a little bit of a bite itself, I was grateful for the bread to calm the heat.

After a little discussions on the background story of Rachel, Leah and Jacob, and a few personal testimonies on struggling with comparing, we gathered all our things and went into the sanctuary to watch the brief video on the study created by Nicki Koziarz.
I wasn’t familiar with her name, but she was nice and desired to keep it as focused on You and Your Holy word as much as possible.RLLBS.2019.14It was introduction week/week one and the theme for the night was
Truth One: You Need to Be Honest.
The supporting text was from Psalm 139:1
“Lord, you have searched me and known me.”RLLBS.2019.10

Nicki gave three main points to take with us through the week.RLLBS.2019.121. Just Go! Go and study Psalm 139:23 KJV
“Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts” 

2. Wrestle with God (referring to Jacob’s wrestle with You).
3. Be honest. (Admit to the struggle of comparison)

She also suggested to Dismiss Denial and Embrace Transparency.
Lastly, she suggested memorizing Psalm 139:1
“O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.”
(I use King James Version to study and memorize. It helps.)

Afterwards, we discussed the video and the material. We were told to use our white index cards to write down what we thought You would be talking to us individually for through the study. She asked us to think on if it was the same as what we had thought on at first, and then told us to keep the card to compare as we grow. It may be that we change our thinking on it, or that it might not be anywhere near what we thought it was going to be.

As I said earlier, I think I dropped mine somewhere,  but I wrote that I struggle with comparison of my physical health. I don’t begrudge anyone good health, but I do miss being able to swim, bike, dance, run, and as of lately I had been walking better than I had in years. But now these new kind of headaches and recurring cervical issues sometimes feel like I am going backwards.  😦

But I pray, I do my therapy appointments, nerve blocks, and whatever my doctors tell me. I’m following You first. That way I know it’s You in whomever You bless me with.

We were then split into groups to switch prayer requests and pray. RLLBS.2019.6I was blessed to pray with Jerrie, Vicki, and Latricia. Between us, we prayed over finances, health, family, ministry, the ladies, the study, and Keitha. Keitha then said a prayer aloud for all the ladies and our prayers.

 Keitha then took a group picture, and dismissed us.RLLBS.2019.21

Just before I left, You blessed me with Keitha hugs ❤ , and three attempts at a picture with her.  🙂 Two attempts on my little smart phone that is so challenging trying to get a selfie of any kind because I have to turn the phone around and try to feel for the snap button… on a very sensitive touch screen. LOL

The first picture is actually pretty cool because is shows how easily and sincerely Keitha listens with her heart. That’s You in her face… in her heart. ❤
The second picture is awesome in showing her love for life. That’s still You… the life she loves to see through Your eyes! 🙂

Keitha was so very wise to ask someone else to take the picture for us.RLLBS.2019.5In the third picture, though I wish the picture would have gotten more of Keitha’s smiling face, I will absolutely praise Your Holy name for what You gave! And I will praise You that Keitha was very patient and merciful to try again. ❤

I thought long and hard on the way home. Like a lot of the other ladies, I first thought I don’t struggle with comparison because I don’t envy or begrudge anyone. But comparison is also about how we see ourselves. How we see ourselves determines our thinking regarding the image we are made… in You. It determines how we love our neighbors, regardless of the denial we hide behind.

Dying to self does not mean killing the life You have given us, nor beating up on the child that You died for in each of us. It doesn’t mean blowing off the value of a reputation because we compare having one to some popularity contest. Our character is just as valuable as our faith, our salvation, and the Creator we represent. Failing to fight for that character can unknowingly cause us to compare and compete for who can be the most unworthy. Fighting for our independence more than we fight for the responsibility to assemble together can rob us of fellowship, bearing one another’s burden, and putting Your kingdom above our petty pity parties.

We are to lift one another up. We are to cheer each other on. We are to ask for help when our war is raging fierce against our strength. We are not to compete, instead we are to love one another as ourselves. Not any more… on some pedestal. Not any less… wallering in ourselves. We are to love one another with the comfort that You have comforted us with. We are to love one another as You have loved us. We are not to drag the name of Christ (Your precious Son and our Savior) through the mud.

We need to be honest… with ourselves… and one another.RLLBS.2019.11

I eagerly look forward to next week, Lord. I pray You will allow me to come. I am so in love with all that You do in my life! Thank You for continuing this theme in the message that Pastor Tim gave Sunday morning using Psalm 37. Another reminder to keep our trust in You regardless of how much greener the grass seems on the other side, especially when it’s really our strength that is waning in the fight.

Pastor Tim told us…

When you feel like evil is coming at you,
getting ahead of you… and God,
even in their wrong doing.
..
read Psalm 37.

I am so glad I read it! ❤

Pastor Tim also said to remember…

David was a giant killer,
but even a giant killer needed God.

Lastly, I thank You for the song You have given with all of this… Building My Life by Pat Barrett.  I’ve fallen so in love with it because I have simply fallen even more in love with You! It is so fitting because we are to build our lives on You, not on the examples and things of others, and not on the skewed view in our own eyes. As the song says…

“Holy there is no one like You
There is none beside You
Open up my eyes in wonder
And show me who You are
And fill me with Your heart
And lead me in Your love to those around me.”

Help me to build my life on You, Jesus! You are the man that we are to mark as the perfect example that lived the life we are striving for. And help me to remember that I am living the life that You gave me to live. I can not compare to Your perfection either, but I can absolutely put my trust in You!

“I can do all thing through Christ, who strengtheneth me.”
– Philippians 4:13 KJV

Lead me in Your love to those around You so I may tell them…

God loves you! ❤

 

Tribulation: Life Dramatically Changed

gaillovesgodspoetry

Little girl. Authority figure. Life dramatically changed.
Life of innocence. Ugly Evil. Traumatically deranged.
Battle scars. Wounded thoughts. Walls that were not there.
Fear and dread. Guilt and shame. Heavy burdens to bear.
Loving King. Roaring Lion. Armor for the Soldier.
Sword and shield to fight the war. A pair of arms to hold her.
We’re warned in John 16:33 there shall be tribulation.
Be of good cheer, He has overcome. There is cause for celebration!
The snake will hiss, and sometimes bite. The scorpion will sting.
The dove will cover with shelter and comfort in His loving snowy wing.

3.2.2019 Saturday
Written by Gail Brookshire

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Answering 30 Interesting Questions 3.4.19

God, You are so interesting in how You get me involved socially when I am trying to hide BEHIND the screen as much as possible. You take me out of my selfish mood, and remind how much others are trying to share with us, and how many would love to welcome the fellowship from anyone! We all need a little smile! We all need You! And You remind us that we all need each other! ❤

I love You, Father God!

Thank you so much Priya aka Zealous Homo sapiens of When An Introvert Speaks for the open nomination to Answering 30 Interesting Questions. I rarely do open nominations because it feels so greedy when the Lord has blessed me so much, but then He reminds me the reason He encourages me to do any of the awards and tags… to share!! A little of His love! And a little of His light. So thank you for the opportunity to bless others! 🙂 God bless you and your blog!  God loves you, Priya! 🙂


The 30 Questions:

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called?
My family calls me Brenda Gail. My brother Charlie got everyone in high school calling me Sweets (They signed it all over my yearbooks). Some friends call me Stormy because it’s a nickname for Gail. I am blessed to have souls who call me mom, momma, momma Gail. And there are lots of other nicknames… a Child of the King… His! ❤
However, as you see in my blog all the time, I go by Gail aka gaillovesgod. 🙂

2. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like?
Anywhere from several times a day to several times a week. Most of it either comes out as just scribble or actual poetry. God is so generous to whisper!

3. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive?
I talk with God, read my bible, recite verse, write poetry, or even sing hymns to Him (sometimes singing myself to sleep 😉 )

4. Do people consider you as talkative or quiet?
Depends on who and when you ask. I am mostly quiet, but I can be very talkative.  Jesus wants me to tell others how much He loves them. Sometime I could endlessly talk about the sweetest love I have ever known. Sometimes I have to pray for Him to give me courage. Sadly sometimes I have to ask for His forgiveness and pray for those I failed to share with!

5. What makes you cry?
Disappointing my Jesus. 😦 Seeing Him mistreated. 😦 Seeing things that break His heart. 😦

6. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Seeing people intentionally hurt one another

7. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror?
Just enough to make sure my teeth are clean, and to make sure it looks like I at least tried to comb my hair (and put it out of my eyes )

8. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?
My dad used to call my soda… cold coffee. I literally thought that coke and coffee were the same thing… just coffee when hot and coke when cold. I use to tell my dad, “Yuck! Who would ruin their coke like that??” LOL

9. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up?
A “guilty” pleasure implies a wrong or sinful, or at least harmful pleasure. I have a hard time resisting watching Law & Order… especially the earlier ones and the SVU series. I am NOT a crime buff, a forensics junky, and hate gory scenes! While watching can actually help me some days, it can also pull me away from everything on other days.

10. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know?

❤ ❤ My Jesus!!!!! ❤ ❤

11. How often do you read the newspaper? Which sections?
Every few months or so, unless looking for something particular… like obituaries.

12. Which animal scares you the most?
Snakes are right up there.

13. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on?
Again it depends on when and the situation. I DETEST letting something get the best of me, so I prefer head on. I usually say, “Bring it on.” If it’s gonna kill me to do it… then let’s get it over with. However when it comes to confronting for or on behalf of others, to pray and follow God’s lead is the best thing to do. I try to pray and follow either way!

14. What was the most recent compliment you’ve received?
That I send sweet and encouraging messages. God is so loving and kind to me! ❤

15. What question are you tired of hearing?
Where is God when you need Him? (Usually said while “celebrating???” being able to kill babies in and out of the womb, while welcoming guns but not God in school, while fighting for one’s right to speak their opinion in school but suing anyone who wants to exercise their right to pray in school (even just silently sometimes), or while secretly paying a sex trafficker to find a “piece of fresh meat to rape” (the younger they are, the more they’ll pay) 😦

16. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?
Sardines!! My dad tricked me into trying one! YUCK! It tasted like I had stuck my tongue in a can of oil, and I couldn’t get it off! 

17. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends?
God is so kind and generous to bless me with an abundance of friends, but I am ashamed to say I isolate myself a lot. (Said for any of my friends who have not seen or heard from me so that you do not think I don’t consider you a friend! Me and God love you!)

18. Do you have a catchphrase?

God loves you! ❤

19. What’s your all-time favourite town or city? Why?
Heaven! That’s my home! ❤ I am so homesick!!!

20. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?
Gail 😉 Because it is not my first name, it would simplify things…lol.

21. When was the last time you lied?
Honestly… That’s between the Lord and me. I try to be as honest as possible. Discretion is lying to some people, however “Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.” – James 5:19-20 KJV

22. What’s something that amazes you?

❤ ❤ The love of God!!!!! ❤ ❤

23. Would you rather be the first person to explore a planet or be the inventor of a drug that cures a deadly disease?
Absolutely invent a cure for deadly disease!  (but on a day off I would explore whatever God wants to show us! His artwork is so amazing!!)

24. What is your favourite amateur activity?
Blogging or writing poetry I guess is amateur… but if it’s for, from, and about God that is all that matters! People need the Lord! And they need to know how much He loves them! ❤

25. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?
I need to hurry and change out my pajamas to make it to my appointment with Dr. Buzz’s office. I am soooooo tempted to just wear them, but I don’t want everyone to think I’m crazy. I save that for my family and friends. 😉 (Thank You, God for my new comfy pjs I got for Christmas! I finally got to wear them! 🙂 )

26. What is your favourite song (at least at the moment)?
Take My Life and Let It Be Consecrated, Lord, to Thee hymn

27. List someone you know, and describe them in 5 words.
< 3 Jesus… loving, merciful, obedient, Holy, longsuffering! ❤

28. You can select one person from history and have them truthfully answer one question. Who would you select and what would the question be?
God… why would You even make it an option for Your precious and only Begotten Son to leave You for even a moment to come and suffer such agony, pain, cruelty, torture, mockery, when You knew it was my vile and filthy rags that put Him there? I know You say it was because You love me, but how can You love me after all that You have seen me say and do… with my life… my body… my words… and my sick selfish nature? Why…WHY would You allow me to have anything to do with something as precious and Holy as the blood of Your Son! Jesus is so innocent and pure! He is Holy! Thank you for loving me enough to send Him! To even allow it. Help me to have the courage, the strength, the boldness that You say we need to have to come to Your throne! I want to be as clean as YOU make a life!!!!!!!! NO ONE CAN SAVE AND CLEANSE LIKE YOU! NO OTHER LOVE! THANK YOU< JESUS! ❤

29. Which celebrity or artist do you resemble the most?
Nowadays I have no clue, but when I was in my 20s I use to constantly be confused with a local reporter we once had in our area that set her boyfriend’s house on fire.

30. What do you want me to know?

❤ God loves you! ❤

It was a blessing answering these questions! I hope they bless you!

I nominate

Caz of Invisibly Me
Stu of Something to Stu Over
Shae of Teen Meet God
Meredith of My Way Home
Wendi of Simply Chronically Ill
Maxine of Heaven’s Reef
Efua of Grace Over Pain
Tosin of Aletha’s Mind
Dawn of Drawing Closer to Christ
Carol Anne of Therapy Bits

and everyone reading this
to write your own answers to these questions.

Yes YOU!! 🙂

You won’t be making it up. God did allow me to nominate you!
Share! Enjoy! Have a great time answering! God loves you! ❤