Intentional Effort

Fear… what a powerful foe! It has such a powerful grip… such a vast chasm of darkness… such a terrorizing torture on an already human mind. For weeks now fear has just had a choke hold on me. It has had me at its mercy. And what a horrible contradiction to what the very definition of mercy is. Why do we use that expression to refer to being someone’s prisoner? Bound by something or someone that we have no control over nor choice to get away from? What a cruel mockery of the true mercy You provide, Father.

Mercy is when we don’t receive a punishment or consequence that we do deserve.

Fear has this very unmerciful hold on even the righteous sometimes. Your Son was under Fear’s fierce attack in the garden. Even after Your angels ministered unto Him, He had to return and pray twice more while in such agony. Afflicted with human flesh and the godly knowledge of what He had yet to suffer, and to know it would begin any moment… weighed heavily on Him. So if there is anyone who understands how fear has been imprisoning me for the last several weeks, it has been my Lord and Savior.

Fear to move… fear to speak… fear to blog… fear to write… fear to watch this… fear to do that… fear to think… fear to communicate… fear to interact… fear to breathe…. fear to exist… and yet scared to death to fail to do any of these.

I’ve made intentional efforts along the way on several of these things through Your leading, Lord. Acting in faith. Some I have been able to make at least one step forward. Some I have yet to actually move. I have mentally went to lift a foot, but it felt like being stuck in a concrete block. If it had not been for feeling my muscles trying to contract, I wouldn’t have thought I even tried. But I know You know I have. I haven’t given up, but I recognize the challenge.

Yet no matter how much of a mighty foe fear is, I know a far Mightier Warrior! A Valiant King! A king who will NOT allow His children to remain prisoner. And just as You allowed the angels to minister to our precious Jesus in the garden, You have been faithful and loving to minister to me wherever it is I have been. And You are THE Almighty! Meaning You are Mightier than ALL Your foes! And my foes are Your foes! So they stand to be reckoned with by You!

So I make this intentional effort to blog because I know You will bring me out of this place. This darkness makes it hard to see where I have been, where I am now, where I am going, and in which direction to go, but I see Your Great Light. Even just a flicker of Your Shining Love is enough to lead me, to cheer me, to reach into my soul and keep me breathing. I know You know I’m in here. I know You know I’m trying. This is all I need… because You are the only one I answer to.

These demons who disguise themselves in false light just don’t shine the way You do, so they cannot make me smile the way You do.

You keep me going, smiling, singing, trusting, loving, living in joy…
 ❤ just to know You are! ❤

Keep shining, Lord. Keep leading. I’m following… even if it’s just by allowing You to carry me because I am either weak, or as stubborn as Lot. Keep doing what You’re doing in me. I fall more and more in love with You every day. And I love even that! ❤

See how You erase fear even as we enjoy one another! Thank You for teaching me about true reverent fear… true loving mercy… and genuine saving grace. Oh but for the love of Your salvation! You rescue everyone of us when You lift us up out of the miry pit of fear, darkness, and agony, just as You lifted our Savior in His hour of need. I need You, Father. Every hour, I need You! I love You! ❤

One Day At a Time…

One Day At a Time…
the Lord will work it all out…
for His good will!
🙂

2 Liebster Awards for My Birthday 6.13.18

A Double Portion of Liebster Love for my birthday! That is so like You, Lord, to be so thoughtful and generous! You have used Amy of A New Life and Jenny Lynn of Author Jenny Lynn to bless me Doubly with the opportunity to praise You and share a little of Your love with others! I absolutely want a Double portion of Your love and Spirit… just like Elisha did of Elijah in 2 Kings.

“And it came to pass, when they were gone over, that Elijah said unto Elisha, Ask what I shall do for thee, before I be taken away from thee. And Elisha said, I pray thee, let a double portion of thy spirit be upon me.”
– 2 Kings 2:9 KJV –

I’ve never done any of my awards as multiple in on post, as I have seen many do. I have intentionally done them separate no matter how many there were to keep them better organized. These 2 I will do together so that Amy, Jenny Lynn, and Wendi (who nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award on Simply Chronically Ill, which I just posted if you want to read it) will all know how You delightfully whispered in their ears for my birthday! ❤
Besides, they have different rules and questions, and of course that makes for more sharing with more nominees! 🙂

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Amy of A New Life nominated me on June 13th, Wednesday
with this Liebster Award!

Thank you, Amy, for thinking of me with the nomination, and for your generous words that glorify our God with a beautiful testimony! God is surely good to allow me to gain yet another crown to lay at His feet. ❤ Me and God love you, Sister!

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THE SHORT LIST OF RULES ARE:
Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Answer the questions you were asked.
Share 10 random facts about yourself.
Nominate at least 3 blogs for the award or you may nominate more!
Make up 10 questions for your nominees and inform them of the nomination.

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My Questions from Amy:

1. What’s your favorite book of the Bible?
Wow! Just one? John is the one that broke my heart when I first read it through.
2. What book (last book) are you reading?
Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand
3. What was the last dream you had?  What happened?
I don’t remember. But I love waking to God’s song on my heart and mind.
4. What advice would you give the younger you?
The same advice that Molly gave me at the altar about Jesus when I was 8 years old. God thought it was enough to get where I am today. He knows best! ❤
5. What elder has impacted you the most and why.
Molly introduced me to the most loving person I have ever known! ❤
6. Have you seen the movie “I Can Only Imagine” Did you like it?
Not yet. But I’ve loved the song since 2004, and love the new ones from the movie.
7. Do you have a bucket list? Any you want to share?
No, I do not have one, other than do what God asks of me.
8. Describe your most memorable moment.
My baptismal was easy to remember, as I was 8 years old, wearing a dress pinned between my legs, on my tippy toes to keep my chin just above water (to keep from drowning), waiting what seemed like forever for the Pastor to dunk me. Then a sudden dip that took me by surprise. I am glad though for those moments that he took time out to commend “this little girl comes to the altar every Sunday morning, every Sunday night, and Wednesday night to pray for herself, her brothers and sister, her mom and dad, and whoever she can think of.” When I struggled years later about my certainty of my salvation at such a young age, the Lord would use that to assure me it was very genuine!
9. What’s your favorite post you have on your blog? Provide a link
More important than whatever I may find as a favorite, my testimony comes first. That post is called Me and God. Then my testimony as a writer… called Me and Writing. I try to make sure He is all over this blog. It is His.

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10 Random Facts about myself:

1. I love God! 2. I love Jesus! 3. I love the Holy Spirit! 4. I love the Trinity. 5. I believe Jesus is God’s Son. 6. I believe He died on the cross for me. 7. I believe He laid in the grave three days. 8. I believe He arose on the third day. 9. I believe He is alive and well in heaven. 10. I believe He is coming back to take me to my home that He has gone away to prepare for me!

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Nominees for June 13th:

All You Need Is Jesus
Real Christian Woman
CHRISTian Poetry
His Perfect Timing
Words In The Light
Delighting In Him
Sharing In The Lord
Middle Me
100% Jesus
Through Ink & Image

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Questions for June 13th Nominees:

1. What time is it where you are?
2. What season is it where you live?
3. Which Bible character would you like to meet?
4. What’s your favorite food today?
5. Do you know how much God loves you?
6. What do you love about your country?
7. What was your last blog about? (link it)
8. What blogger award have you NOT had that you would like to have?
9. What was your last bad day like, and how did you get through it?
10. What is your favorite flower?

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Jenny Lynn of Author Jenny Lynn nominated me
on June 14th, Thursday for this Liebster Award.Thank you, Jenny Lynn, for the kind opportunity to share more praises for my Lord and more nominations to share with others! I enjoy visiting with you in the kitchen! 🙂
❤ Me and God love you too, Sister!

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Official Rules:

• Link to the Global Aussie’s post about the Liebster Award & post the Liebster Award official logo on your post.
• Thank the person who nominated you & put a link to their blog in your post.
• Write a small post about why you love to blog.
• Answer the questions given to you. If you are no questions are given, then answer the ones on the Global Aussie’s post. (Linked Above –Click “Global Aussie”)
• Name 5-11 blogs that you’d like to nominate & provide links to their blogs.
• Notify your nominees about the award.
• Create more questions for your nominees to answer.
• Comment on the Global Aussie’s post with a link to your award.
• Post the rules to this award in your blog post.

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Why I Love to Blog:

I love writing to the Lord. Either He is sharing whispers especially for me, or He is sharing with others through those same whispers. However He chooses to work is up to Him. It is His blog! The poetry blog is what He has been giving me since I was 9 years old. I know I love to make sure everyone knows that Gail Loves God, and to let them know God loves you!

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My Questions from Jenny Lynn:

1. What is your favorite smell? Yes, I said smell. LOL
   ONE of my favorites first coming to mind is freshly mowed grass.
2. What has been one of the hardest moments of your life?
   Weathering storms that seemed like they would never end.
3. Are you a chocolate OR vanilla ice cream person?
   chocolate
4. What do you like to do when you have down time?
   spend alone time with God
5. What is your favorite movie/book genre?
   Bible stories
6. Tell us the silliest thing you’ve ever done in your life?
   Dressed like a local celebrity who was constantly mistaken as looking like Jerry Garcia for Halloween. He happened to be a dear close friend, so it was a blast seeing his face. He loved how real I looked like him. 😉 LOL
7. What’s one of your most embarrassing moments?
   Signing my first autograph. It was  for a couple of college classmates who had been friends for a good while, but when they read one of my published poems in the campus paper their reaction was so new to me that I tried to laugh it off because of how embarrassing it seemed. I was quickly (but lovingly) scolded on how rude I was being, and robbing them of a rare memory. A lesson in humility and confidence at the same time.
   “Cast not away therefore your confidence,
   which hath great recompence of reward.”
   – Hebrews 10:35
8. Name your favorite song.
   So MANY hymns! No One Ever Care for Me Like Jesus! How Can I Fear With Jesus? Day By Day! Jesus Led Me All the Way, God Leads His Dear Children Along! A Wonderful Savior! Be Thou My Vision! Amazing Grace! I Must Tell Jesus! ❤ 
9. Who is someone who has majorly impacted your life and why?
   Jesus has impacted by life like no other. Words cannot express what He has brought me through, and by His grace, with a love that surpasses all sorrows.
10. If you were a Scooby Doo character, who would you be?
    Velma… the brunette who always faced ghosts and fears head on! Scared or not!
11. What is your passion in life?
    To love and serve my Lord Jesus Christ as faithfully as possible! ❤
    

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10 Random Things About Me:

1.I love reading hymns. 2. I love singing hymns. 3. I love memorizing hymns. 4. I love memory verses. 5. I love God’s word! 6. I love church family. 7. I love brother and sisters in Christ! 8. I love encouraging others. 9. I love children. 10. I love helping someone learn to know God personally! Oh the unique privilege and delight on their face! 🙂

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Nominees for June 14th 🙂

Discovering Your Happiness
Invisibly Me
An Anonymous Escape From Life
Therapy Bits
Mistakes and Adventures
Tomorrow Girl
Georgia’s Recovery
Pennies For Dreams
A Sagittarian Seeker
Becoming His Tapestry
Harotian Essentials

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Questions for June 14th Nominees:

The same as for the June 13th Nominees above.

Congrats to all the nominees! I look forward to reading your responses if you participate. Tag me if you do so that I don’t miss put on seeing it! God loves you!

Thank you again, Amy and Jenny Lynn! God loves you both!

Thank You, Lord, for sending me birthday gifts I could share, and praise You with as well!
Holy is the Lord God Almighty! You’re a good, good Father! 
 ❤ I love You, Father God! Happy Father’s Day! ❤

Sunshine Blogger Award 6.11.18

How like You, my heavenly Father to shine even more of Your Light into my life by allowing my dear friend Wendi of Simply Chronically Ill to  nominate me for the Sunshine Blogger Award just 2 days before my birthday! The 1st of 3 awards, You have blessed me with nominations to share with others!!! Praise Your Holy name! One of the greatest gifts You give us… is to give to others!  ❤Thank you, Wendi, for sharing with me the gift to give! God bless you for your thoughtfulness. I am also so encouraged by your heart and passion for cure, love, and peace… not just for you… but the world! The love of the Son surely shines in your words. Me and God love you! ❤

 

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HERE’S HOW IT WORKS…

THE RULES

1.) Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you and link back to their blog

2.) Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you

3.) Nominate 11 new blogs to receive this award, and write them 11 new questions

4.) List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or on your blog.

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Wendi’s Questions For Me:

1.  What is your favorite thing about blogging awards?
   Praising God and sharing a little of His love with others! 🙂
2.   If you were a sports car which one would you want to be and why?
   I don’t really know sports cars, but it’s fun to help friends enjoy them. 😉
3.   If you could only eat one color of food for a week, what color would it be?
   Red! Spaghetti, lasagna, pizza, cannoli, apples, jello, jelly/jam, tomatoes
4.   What is your favorite movie line and why?
   Ernest Borgnine as the Centurion in Jesus of Nazareth.

“No! I am unworthy that you should enter under my roof. I know that if you say the word, my servant will be healed. I am a man under authority, but I, myself, have authority over a hundred soldiers, and if I say to one of them ‘Do this.’ I know that he will do it. And if I say to another, ‘Go there.’ I know that he will go. I need not see. I know. So it is enough that you give the word, and it will be done.”
(This references the story of the faith of the Centurion in Luke 7:1-10, with verses 6-8 being the actual words the Centurion spoke.)  ❤

1. Describe yourself in two words.
   technologically challenged…. because I cannot figure out how to add the video without messing up the number order in front of each question. But that’s OK… the video is very worth it! The words! The power! The favor God allowed on this movie… and this actor Ernest Borgnine. 
2. What is one sporting activity that you enjoy watching?
   X Games… but I hate the spills and falls. I hate seeing anyone get hurt.
3.  If you could give one piece of advice for all the world to hear what would it be?
   Jesus Christ died to give you eternal life because He doesn’t want to live forever without you! Ask Him to reveal Himself to you, so that you can KNOW for yourself just how much He loves you! Don’t give up being unconditionally loved forever! <3
4.  What is your favorite encouraging quote?
   

   God loves you! John 3:16 says so! ❤ 

5.   If you had to learn a made up language, which one would you choose and why?
   The language babies talk when they are they together. They’ve never been to school nor know ANY language thus far, yet they can carry on conversations with ga ga goo goo. ❤
6.   If you were to learn to play an instrument which one would you choose?
   piano! I’ve always wanted to able to play Music Box Dancer. I told my son when he took piano lessons how I have wished to be able to play it, or at least wished the man that God has me marry could play it for me (and piano period! ❤ ) and would love to read aloud as well. I would rather listen to him endlessly than watch TV. 🙂

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Nominees:

Soul of Eva
Grace Over Pain
Author Jenny Lynn
Lea’s Spiritual Journey
Fun Freedom Fables
IMPREINT journal
Source of Inspiration
Created and Called
Abounding Grace
The Shower of Blessings
Be Inspired!

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Questions for the Nominees:

1. Do you know how much God loves you?
2. Where in the world do you live?
3. What is your favorite food today?
4. Do you have a prayer need that I can pray over for/with you?
5. What is your favorite color?
6. Do you have a favorite piece of clothing you wear a lot?
7. What inspires you?
8. Are you a night owl or an early bird?
9. Who was the last person you hugged?
10. What does it mean for you to “Let go?”
11. What do you like to blog about?

Congrats to all the nominees!
Please don’t feel obligated to participate.
I thank God for allowing me to just share
a little of His light with you!
He loves you! ❤

Thank you again, Wendi! Me and God love you! ❤

 

6.11.18 Update 2: Kimberly’s PCT Hike

An update for those helping me pray for Cousin Kimberly (aka Legs, trail name) as she hikes the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail) from Mexico to Canada.

Kimberly is having so much fun! You see it in her smiles! My favorite pictures! She has so many other photos on her blog of so many friends that she has made along the way. She even has so many videos.

(Reminder: I don’t reblog or link the blog because of some of the language and  I have so many young people actively following my blog, as well as several friends who are Pastors, Evangelists, Worships Leaders, and serving in ministry in many different ways. I love my cousin and have been led by the Lord to pray for Kimberly on her journey! I am so grateful for those helping me pray for her! Kimberly has expressed how much she loves everyone praying for her!)

If you would like to make an extra note of encouragement to let Kimberly (aka Legs) know you are praying for her, note in your comment where in the world you are!

I love that so many from so many countries are helping me to pray for my cousin! God made her to be an awesome woman! Thank you! Me and God love you! ❤

 

 

ME AND GOD LOVE YOU, KIMBERLY (AKA LEGS)!

6.11.18 Update 1: Kimberly’s PCT Hike

An update for those helping me pray for my Cousin Kimberly (aka Legs, trail name) as she hikes the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail) from Mexico to Canada. Some very important and special accomplishments have happened for her!

Be sure to read Kimberly’s note below the pictures
on why these are important milestones!
And how you will be able to pray for her specifically!
(quoted from her blog) 

She reached 700 miles!

She made it to Kennedy Meadows!

She completed 1/4 of the PCT!

She finished hiking the desert!

She began hiking the Sierra Mountains!

Wow! God is giving that woman some strength, energy, endurance, good health, and so many blessings to help her hike on! Praise the Lord! God certainly leads His dear children along the PCT trail!  ❤

Go, Kimberly!

 

 

 

 

Kimberly’s note on why Kennedy Meadows is an important milestone.
(quoted from her blog)

Hello all. I’m excited to say I’ve now hiked 702.2 miles on the PCT and arrived at Kennedy Meadows. I got here on May 29th and I’m currently on my second Zero here. Kennedy Meadows is a milestone on this trail for many reasons:

1. A lot of attempted thru-hikers don’t make it this far.

Due mostly to injuries, running out of money, and/or poor planning: a ton of hikers won’t get to see this spot. I can count on both my hands and a few toes the hikers who I met out here a month ago that are no longer hiking. It’s sad usually because they hurt something bad enough to cause them to have to leave the trail. Others have had family emergencies that cause them to have to make the choice to get off trail. Even some of those hikers who have made it here are having to work at general stores, restaurants and dive bars doing odd jobs. Hikers are helping cook, help locals with trade jobs and taking out trash to save/make money just for their room and board.

How this changes her specific prayer needs.

2. Goodbye desert, hello sierras.

It’s been crazy good weather out here so far but it hasn’t all been great. It’s hot out here in the desert. I never knew that the desert also involved rolling hills, lush pine forest and rock mountains… but those were few and far between. The desert really has been a lot of dry heat stretches with little to no shade and heavy water hauls. Often times there’s been a minimum average water haul of 12-15 miles, so mostly dry camping is involved. The sierras mean more real water holes with rivers, big streams, and cold mountain water. I’ll be carrying an average of 2 liters of water instead of 5 liters. Huge difference in pack weight. However, the new average of packing for days of food will change. In the desert I could hit up towns about every 7-8 days. Now I’m going to be packing food for 9-12 days at a time. Plus, now I’ll also be toting my bear canister, ice axe and micro-spikes for the harsher, snowy weather conditions. A lot of hikers who got to Kennedy Meadows before I did are having to get off trail for side trips, zeroing for weeks at a time, and stalling because the snow has too deep and hard to get through. I want to be able to enjoy my time in the sierras not have to suffer through it.

Until next time,
Legs xo

Thank you for helping me pray for her! God loves you! ❤

❤ Praying for you, Legs! Me and God love you! ❤

Glory In The Minefield

Lord, It’s so strange… walking around in this minefield… exploring so many old tripwires. These places have long been deserted. Intentionally so. I have never been more grateful to be away from them. I use to be so afraid of looking back. Of even thinking about them. I was so afraid it would take me back and re-imprison me. I can remember thinking it was never going to stop. That things were never going to change.

These poems are reminders of times, people, places, events that were so evil. I have long been horrified to reread them. Even though I wrote them… lived them… witnessed them. The only reason I even dare to go near them is to follow You in putting them into digital storage and on the poetry blog (gaillovegodspoetry). So many times I wanted to tear many of them up.

Even now they can be hard to type and click that publish button.

They’re so personal. So evil. So dark.

They scare me even now.

Yet as I have been following You, I am completely taken by the responses. Especially from those who say they are either going through those things now, or are trying to deal with the fact of their own similar events, but to see things from a lens of bringing them to You, talking them out with You, and allowing Your Spirit to lead me in writing anything new with them, is moving them… touching them…. helping them.

They are seeing YOU instead of the evil.
How You amaze me! ❤

We have only begun to approach this dark and evil time. We are literally on the outskirts of what seems like land mines, grenades, tripwires, explosives, and so many unpredictable triggers. As we walk through 1989 alone, I have seen so many that make me cringe just to see their titles.

But this is…. a journey… a life… a testimony… that You allowed…

and continue to magnify Your Holy name through what You have done in my heart alone. And when You allow ME to see the changes, and allow the poems to help me see the freedom from them, instead of the fear and shame that the enemy wants me to live with, You allow the love that You are in my life to be a love that I never want to let go of. I am so grateful that You are a love that never wants to let go of me! If any of the words You have given me, even through such an evil adventure, can bring one other soul out of their darkness, or shine Your light of love where the enemy chains their soul… it is very worth it all.

Freedom from a mental torture takes every bit of strength that we just don’t have alone.

That is why I am so in love with YOUR Word! ❤

“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 AKJV

May You receive all of the glory that YOU planned before I was even born!

“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee…” – Jeremiah 1:3 AKJV

 

Drowning of a Writer

I use to subtitle this Ode to Suicide… actually the original title itself was Ode to Suicide, but I made it a subtitle so no one would worry or try to take it from me. Now, I don’t think it is wise to have such a title because suicide itself is not beautiful.

gaillovesgodspoetry

Bubbles… accelerating to the surface. Pleading for my forgiveness, for my survival, my rescue. “HELP!” I’m crying from within the depth of the ocean. I’m losing my life. My will to fight is being taken from me. The strength of the almighty sea is too much for me. My body grows weak. I’m feeling numb. Every inch of my muscles are aching! Yet… all I can think about is fighting for my life. If only I had a little hero, or maybe a little support. If only I weren’t in so deep, but I’m in way over my head. As I struggle with every breath I have left in my body, I sink further and further, into my burial grounds. My new dwelling place, where my bones shall rot into tiny pieces of exhausted life. Soon, I will have nothing left. No warmth of loving. No tears of enjoyment… no…

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Don’t Blame Your King!

When You Really Think About It Ep. 306

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Being A Soldier of Christ

When You Really Think About It Ep. 77

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