Versatile Blogger Award 5.26.18

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.”
– Isaiah 55:8 KJV

You surely have that right, Lord. I would have never thought You would use me this way, nor this blog, nor pour blessings all over me with so many blogger friends and blog awards! Your love comes in so many ways that delightfully surprise us. Just as You have surprised me with the blessing of a dear Brother in Your Son’s name as a blogger friend. You allowed Stu of Something to Stu Over to nominate me for the Versatile Blogger Award tonight. Bless him and his ministry, Lord. Be His strength and His protection.

Thank you, Stu, for your thoughtfulness in nominating me! May the Lord bless you as richly and as generously as He does me in reading your blog, and being blessed with your friendship in Christ! Family in Christ! 🙂
Me and God love you, Brother!


What is the Versatile Blogger Award?

• The versatile blogger award is given to bloggers by bloggers as a recognition of the uniqueness of their content and individuality.

• It is also a way to honor bloggers who bring something special to your life whether every day or now and then.

• The award is run by VBA. Check them out.versatile-blogger-awardRules!

• Thank the person who gave you this award.

• Include a link to their blog.

• Next select and nominate 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly for the Versatile Blogger Award — you might include a link to this site.

• Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.


Nominees:

Eclipsed Words recently wrote What If I Fly? and I loved it! ❤
Real as the Streets recently wrote Recovery Road. bravely personal and honest!
Carmen Leung recently wrote on her Hiking Zion National Park. Stunning pics!
Stumbling About Our World wrote a fun note caled 70 Random Facts About Me.
Justified and Redeemed recently wrote Why I Choose Modesty in an Immoralist Society.
Realistic Beginner recently wrote 31. What Next? We all ask it!
Bittersweet Diary recently wrote Musing on Quarter Night. Love loss is hard.
God’s Food Heals recently wrote Are You a Coeliac? Hop over and find out.
My God Speaks recently wrote Conquering Sin. Great post!
Dreamer’s Outlet last wrote Monday Mantra: You Are a Piece of Art. I reblogged.
Create in Me recently wrote Liebster Award. Surprising her with Versatile! 😉
December Rose recently wrote Sneakers on Half the Band. Nice poem!
God’s Heavenly Daughter last shared Psalm 3:3. Beautiful!
Riventures recently wrote To My Senior Friends... Sweet note.
Peacock Poetry recently wrote Celebrating Creating. So generous!


7 Facts About MySelf

  1. I love God!
  2. I love Jesus!
  3. I love the Holy Spirit!
  4. I love hymns.
  5. I love sermons.
  6. I love my son, my family.
  7. I always want you to know that God loves you!

Congrats to all the nominees and mentioned! 🙂 Please do not feel obligated to participate. If you decide to, no rush. Do it in your time, your way. God’s perfect time is just that… perfect! 🙂
God loves you!

Bloggers Support Bloggers Award 5.26.18

“I have shewed you all things,
how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak,
and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said,
It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
– Acts 20:35 KJV

What an amazing way to surprise me, to honor those who honor You, to encourage those bloggers to continue in the platforms You have given them, so that most of all those who are weak and/or without You can continue to (or for some begin to) receive the support You provide through so many who are out there blogging to share Your love!

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Thank you, Margaret, for your kindness in nominating me for the Bloggers Support Bloggers Award! It is such a blessing to see God honored all over your blog with His Word! Hence the name of your blog… The Word. God always seems to give you exactly what He knows will be needed that day! I am surely enriched by it!


The Rules:

  1. Thank the one who has tagged you for this challenge and link their blogsite.
  2. Add the official photo in your page.
  3. List at least 5 bloggers you like. (Suggestion: You can list up 3 bloggers that you’ve known for a long time and you can also list up 2 newbies or more. It’s up to you though!)
  4. In 5 sentences or above, give a short description about why you love the blogger.
  5. Tag at least 3 bloggers to do the challenge.
  6. Put #bloggerssupportbloggers in the Tags section so whenever a blogger is looking for new blogs to read, it will be easier to find!

Blogs I Like:
This will be so hard because I like so many! I follow over 300! 🙂 So I will tell of more than 5. Some are award and tag free but are based on supporting and helping others. 

These sites are based on providing/offering support to anyone who contacts them. Their posts are meant to provide awareness, educate, comfort, motivate, provide advice, and so many different things. Their web sites are worth checking into! I keep up with them as often as the Lord will allow! This is a recognition, not a nomination. No homework. 😉
Thriving Under Pressure
Soul Searching
Romy Ras Certified Life Coach
Moonlight Psychology
Make It Ultra
Navigate My Recovery
Damon Ashworth Psychology
Deliberately Better Sleep Retreats
Inkblots and Icebergs
Matthew Winters (Comeback Pastor)
Pastor Unlikely
Paytej
Something to Stu Over
The Abuse Expose With Secret Angel
Loft Forum (Living Our Faith Together)
Free the Anger
The Graced Citizen
Beauty Beyond Bones


The nominees are just as supportive, passionate about reaching out to others, are very active in doing so. I chose them as nominees because I knew they would keep the sharing going!
** If you’re certain you did not see this note earlier, you’re right. I fell asleep before I properly finished. I type and click in my sleep. That’s when I know to shut her down. But I want you to know how supportive the nominees are as well!**

The Nominees:
Discovering Your Happiness
Alethea’s Mind
BUniQ
God’s Anointed Princess
Sim’s Jollies & Jaunts
The Believer’s Triumph

5.27.18 Update: Kimberly’s PCT Hike

Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!

 Legs (Kimberly’s trail name) has hit 650 miles!

She has officially completed 1/4 of the PCT!

Only 2,000 miles to go!

Sorry to be behind on the updates. I have been keeping up with her, but I have been slacking on passing those updates to you who have been helping to praying for her.
(I’m still struggling with suddenly and randomly falling asleep throughout the day).
In case you are just joining us, my cousin Kimberly (whose trail name is Legs) is hiking from Mexico to Canada on the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT). Below are just some of the many pictures she has shared. Enjoy them! My favorites are her smiles! 🙂

 

You can see when she hit 500!32312931_10155253131331035_2161704499465420800_n

600! ❤33046831_10155271685026035_5261820449293074432_n

and then 650! 33310156_10155277061251035_4638583053550092288_n

That’s 1/4 of the trail!33676458_10155281440221035_1872404199715635200_n

 🙂 It’s worth repeating! 🙂

Congratulations, Cousin Kimberly on your accomplishment of completing 1/4 of the Pacific Coast Trail! That’s a lot of hiking!
The Lord has constantly made me think on your journey with His song.

God Leads Us Along.

He is surely leading you along!

❤ Me and God love you! ❤

Light of the World Award 5.25.18

Oh, Light of the World! How lovingly tender and personal You always are to me! In a world that gets so dark that my mind begs to go to sleep to escape, You faithfully send You whispers of love, and boldly shine Your Light of Love into my day. Brooke was one of those strong rays of Your shining Light when You allowed her to nominate me for the Light of the World Award. You already touch my soul with her motherly love for her precious little ones, her generous love in sharing with others, and her passionate love for You each time I visit her blog Noes to Knows. I loved reading You being so personal for Brooke on her journey from Labor to the Police Academy. Tonight, You allowed her to pass on a personal note to me from You in this nomination! A light still shines from the Light of the World into this blog You have given to me and You! And this will allow You to use me to shine Your Light to others.

Thank you, Brooke, for allowing God to use you to shine a little of His Light my way, and to those who will pass by as they read, or receive a nomination to keep sharing the Light through their blogs! ❤ Me and God love you!

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Light of the World Award Rules:

  1. Save and add one of the award images on your blog. (Here is the link for the award post with images and rules of award.)
  2. Create a page/post to mention the award nomination and thank the person/blog that nominated you. Make sure you provide a link to their site.
  3. Give credit to the creator of the award (Lighthouse Devotions) and provide a link to the site as well.  (http://www.Lighthousedevotions.blog)
  4. List the rules.
  5. Answer the next four questions on the same post:
    1. What three words would you use to describe your blog?
    2. In what way(s) can a Christian shine for Christ?
    3. What bible verse (quote it) talks about being a light in a dark and lost world?
    4. What Christian song do you know that has the word “light” in it? Provide a link if available.
  6. Nominate 7 or more people/blogs to receive the award. Briefly explain why you think they should receive it and provide a link to their sites.
  7. Contact them and let them know that you nominated them.
  8. Provide them with a link to the Rules page.
  9. Say a prayer thanking God for His light and ask that He continue to shine it through you and your blog.
  10. Keep shining the light of Christ wherever you go and in whatever you do!

Answering the 4 Questions:

  1. What three words describe you best?

    God’s, Christian, Writer

  2. In what way(s) can a Christian shine for Christ?

    In whatever way God asks, leads, or gifts… just to name a few. If it is allowing His light into their own life, and then pouring rays of light into the lives of others, then no one will be able to hide or mistake the glorious light shining from the Light of the World Himself! His love shines so brightly! It cannot be overshadowed!

  3. What bible verse (quote it) talks about being a light in a dark and lost world?

    “The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up.” – Matthew 4:16 KJV

  4. What Christian song do you know that has the word “light” in it? Provide a link if available.

    A Light Still Shines was the first thing You brought to my mind as soon as I read those words Light of the World. You reminded me of when You used singing A Light Still Shines in a Christmas Cantata at church to get me through one of the most horrendous heartbreaks I have experienced. I cried every time we sang it! I praise Your Holy Name for Your music and Your people! I’ll always cherish the Light You shone into my darkness then, and that You shine into any darkness that appears!

It is hard to find this song as a single.
I will post the lyrics below the video.

A light still shines. It will always glow
In the hearts and minds of the wise who know
That a King has come and His life defines
What His love has won. A light still shines.


Nominees:

Lovely A of Discovering Your Happiness is always trying to bring a ray of Your light into the lives of others. You led me to do her 21 Day Self Care Challenge at a time that my doctors and therapists were emphasizing self care needs in my own life. I use to blow that off as ungodly, thinking it was selfish and self centered. You opened my eyes and my mind to trust You in trusting the doctors You gave me. You not only used her to teach me how vital self care is to the vessel You gave me, but You blessed me with a dear friend for life… a sister in Christ… my Croatian-Australian Sister… Lovely Anita! ❤

Hayley of Red Letters has the loveliest voice that You have gifted her with. It beautifully compliments her love for sharing You with others. You led me to a song of hers that is still my favorite to this day… Know You.

I can sit and listen again and again (and I do)! Thank You for my Brummie Sister Hayley… my Brummie family! Our family loves being able to say hello to and pray for the whole family! Thank You for the gift she is to me! ❤

Lene (aka LeneinJapan) of Song of Virginity shines a light on celebrating and encouraging those choosing Christ first through abstinence, and she does it with a loving and nonjudgmental heart. I was delightfully surprised when You had her invite me to write my testimony on her God honoring blog. But I trusted prayed and trusted You as I did so with Love of My Life – I am His Song.  I’ll always be grateful just as much for the friend You have given me in my American- Japanese Sister in Christ… beautiful Lene! She also has her other site… Wrestling with Faith – Dancing with Jesus. A place to find blessing and inspiration, and her testimony. ❤

Arnya of Walking With The Way is one of the dearest and passionate young ladies I know that You have introduced me to on WordPress. I constantly have to remind myself that she is just 14! The wisdom You give her through the Your Word as she shares it faithfully shines through each post. Just recently I was encouraged by her post A Verse for Anyone Struggling. It was Your encouragement for someone with anxiety… like me! 🙂 Thank You for my young sister in Christ… sweet Arnya! I am so grateful You make us family! ❤

Margaret of The Word shines a light on Your Word every day! She literally posts verses from Your Bible all the time! What better way to share You than to share the very Words You lived and left us!  She also shares some poetry like Is It? and loves sharing Your encouragement with as many as You will allow her. She emphasizes to others the benefits of reading Your Word for themselves because she wants everyone to know that pure joy personally. Thank You so much for my sister in Christ… dearest Margaret! ❤

Karen (aka KJ Smith) of A Couple of Stars and a Happy Face shines Your love through a smile each day for those You allow her to be seen by on her blog. Her recent post He Restores My Soul touches on one of my favorite passages to think on… Psalm 23… because that particular thought alone makes me dreamy and lost with joy in You! You make me to lie down in green pastures…. *sigh*… beside those still waters *sigh*… where You restore my soul… *SIGH*! Oh I so need that place to be lost in… so often! I love You for putting that in Your Word! And in my heart! ❤ Thank you for putting my smiling Sister in Christ… Happy Face Karen… in my life! ❤

Shae of Teen, Meet God is another young lady who You have blessed me in knowing who is constantly shining Your light through verses, music, notes from her Sundays in church, and the beautiful thing You are doing with her through the gift of dance! Her recent post Stories of the Bible – Manoah’s Wife especially touched me as Manoah’s Wife was also given a son by You and a personal one on one message on how to raise Him just as You allowed me the same gift in my son! What a light You shed on our way! Thank You for my dancing Sister in Christ from Illinois… bright Shae! ❤

Also nominated are so many others who simply love to shine Your light to others! Whether boldly or softly, PLEASE make them feel encouraged enough to accept and to keep sharing the nomination with others! I went to the beginning of the list under Followers and used the first seven names You gave me!

Congrats to all of the nominees! Me and God love you!


Thank You, Light of the World, for shining Your personal light into my life, into this blog, and into every place You allow me to receive it and give it! May this blog always be Yours, and continue to shine YOU! 🙂
❤ I love You! ❤

Waiting For My Man of God’s Unfailing Love and Unbiased Mercy!

Years ago I was asked to read this for a single’s program. I was so nervous! I prayed and prayed… that I was doing His will… and that He really wanted me to read THIS material. I was so afraid it was going to offend. God completely humbled me!

gaillovesgodspoetry

**A very long and personal one**

Dreams and fantasies of the perfect future mate, I like so many have them quite often.
I dream of loving someone who loves my God.
I dream of someone who says “our” God.
I dream of sharing His love and word with him.
I wish for someone who will love me as God loves me… just as I am.
I need someone who will not judge me, for I have enough lions to watch for in snatching my joy and confidence.

I need someone who will not hold my past against me.
If Jesus knows what I have done and forgiven me, who is man to say that I am unclean?
Wouldn’t it be great to marry someone who saw your past as what God intended it be… growing?
Wouldn’t it be great to know that your mate could see the purpose in witnessing…

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Mystery Blogger Award 5.18.18

“And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness:
God was manifest in the flesh, justified in the Spirit,
seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles,
believed on in the world, received up into glory.”
– 1 Timothy 3:16 KJV

Oh how wonderful to think on such a verse… such truth… such good things of my Jesus! You are without controversy in my mind! You are manifested in my heart! You are justified through the blood You poured out for me! You were seen of angels! ❤ You were preached to me when I was a child! How blessed I was to meet You! You were absolutely believed on in my heart and soul! And our heavenly Father has received You into glory! Where You have went away to prepare a place for me! And will be back for me! ❤
I’m so excited, Jesus! I am so homesick for you! ❤

Thank You, Jesus, for Joni of Grief to Life
for nominating me for this Mystery Blogger Award!
And for the joy it gave me to think on this verse! ❤
Bless her and her family!
Her testimony of her loss still touches me,

but even more so the loving passion You give her for life!
Thank You for the encouragement she is to me!
In Your Holy and Compassionate name I pray, Amen! ❤

 <3 THANK YOU, JONI! ME AND GOD LOVE YOU!! ❤


For those of you who don’t know what the Mystery Blogger Award is:

“Mystery Blogger Award is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging, and they do it with so much love and passion.”

Created by: Okoto Enigmas Blog

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RULES

  1. Put the award logo/image on your blog
  2. List the rules.
  3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  4. Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well
  5. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
  6. You have to nominate 10 – 20 people
  7. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
  8. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice;
    with one weird or funny question (specify)
  9. Share a link to your best post(s)

3 Things About Me:
1. I love God.

2. I love children.
3. I am so grateful for people who love to help others.

 

My Answers to Joni’s Questions for Me:

  1. Why did you start blogging? 
    As a personal blog to have private talks with God.
  2. If you had to change your name, what name would you choose and why?
    I am content with my name… real or blogging. 🙂
    But if I HAD to, I would follow whatever God gives me!
  3. You are about to get into a fight, what song comes on as your soundtrack?
    Lion and the Lamb by Bethel
    Our God is the Lion, the Lion of Judah
    He’s roaring with power and fighting our battles
    And every knee will bow before Him!
    Our God is the Lamb, the Lamb that was slain
    For the sin of the world. His blood breaks the chains.
    And every knee will bow before the Lion and the Lamb
    Every knee will bow before Him
    (link to video added below)
  4. If you could write one new law that everybody had to obey, what would it be and why?

    ❤ That no one could ever hurt a child again! ❤

    No questions asked!

  5. What’s the meanest thing you have ever done to someone to get back at them?
    I am ashamed of any harm I’ve ever caused anyone, especially my Jesus! 😦


Nominees:
Jessie of Jess Kidding
Lois of LoftForum (Living Our Faith Together)
Shacollier of Her Reason
Joy of Finding Joy
Secret Angel of The Abuse Expose
T.R. of Inside Cup
Overwhelmed By Joy
Susan of Nana’s Love Notes
Brandon of Chaotic Shapes
Caz of Invisibly Me
Alethea of Alethea’s Mind
A Country Boy of Whosoever Will, May Come
Tony of Reflections: A Mindful Journey
Lakeside Poetry
Emma of Blogging Babe
Lisa of Blended Hope
Aicha of They Got it Covered
Paleeza of Just a Quiet Girl
Payte of Paytej

 


My Questions or the Nominees:

1. What makes you burp? (That’s my required weird question.)
2. What would you like to talk with God about one on one?
3. Do you have a prayer request?
4. What do you like to blog about?
5. Where in the world do you live?

I don’t know that I have the right to pick my best post or how I would decide, but the most important is my testimony of salvation… how I met the Love of my life… my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. ❤ I would love to tell you about Me and God! ❤

Congratulations to the Nominees! Please do not feel obligated to participate. If you do, no rush! It’s meant to be a blessing, not a burden! 🙂 Tag me and let me know when you do so that I can come check out your post! God loves you! ❤

 

My Blessed Mother’s Day 2018

❤ Blessed is the woman who walks with God! ❤

This is the overwhelming message You sent me this Mother’s Day 2018! How that touches my heart, Lord, that You would send me this message through the many blessings You showered me with!

First there was the Spasday You gave Anthoni and I as a combination of celebrating his birthday that just happened to fall on Mother’s Day this year, as it sometimes does.
I posted that day to the world as a testimony and praise to You in

Happy Birthday to My Son Anthoni
Spasday5

because You know we had to carefully follow You in making that day happen 3 days before the actual day. If it had been the actual day, it would not have happened. The actual day itself came so close to being a normal day of family warfare. We even lost the keys to the car during the stressful event. But You in Your loving mercy and omnipotent sovereignty displayed the omniscient Father You are to each of us! ❤

After getting Anthoni’s back up keys to the car, going to get pizza & breadsticks that were Anthoni’s chosen dinner, and watching Anthoni receive his birthday presents (reclining cot and chair from his aunt, a Gamestop giftcard and gaming t-shirt from his uncles), I was handed a bag of goodies. I first thought it was him showing me more of his presents. But it came with 2 cards for me!

The first one was from my brother and brother-in-law.Md18.6

Md18.7

The other card was from my son Anthoni.
(with his unique humor 😉 )
Md18.8

Md18.9

Then I opened the bag of goodies! 🙂
❤ Candy and a rose! ❤
My son knows I love some Reese Cups ❤ ,
and this one has Reese’s Pieces inside the cups! ❤Md18.1

And that wasn’t JUST a rose. It was a light-up rose! 🙂
I love a rose that won’t die! ❤

Also in the bag was a small note pad and stylus pen!

Then it was church time! I got to go to Your house, sing with Your people, pray with Your people, fellowship with Your people, and hear a powerful message from our family friend Pastor Boyer on Running Our Race. And these were not just any people, this was longtime familiar faces of dear friends, church family! And the Mother’s Day gift for us moms was so You… being so personal! ❤

The cutest little stationary book!
The cover read…
Blessed is the woman who walks with God.Md18.10

Inside was a note pad
(with the same message at the bottom of each sheet),
a pen, a sticky note pad, and sticky strips! 🙂
personally put together by a dear friend! ❤Md18.11

I’m familiar with the talent of that dear friend, as she has made me personal stationary books before! She is so talented, creative, sweet, and very dedicated to serving God! She is the same friend who treated me to a Wendy’s Frosty and Taco chips not too long ago! And that pen wasn’t just a pen! It has a light up too! With the same message on the pen!Md18.12

All day long, You were with me… with us as a family. Satan wanted to disrupt and ruin, but what he meant for evil You worked to good! Everyone had a good day! There was plenty of pizza, bread sticks, and even the homemade cookies and cream cake that Anthoni specifically asked his aunt for. Everyone was able to eat. No one was sick. The family squabbles were put on the back burner. And even the rain that threatened to interrupt was the sunniest day! Smiles! Laughs! My brother using his phone to take pictures while using snap chat with each of us to entertain himself!

Your message was personal and clear.

Blessed is the woman who walks with God.

❤ And for You to say that! ❤

❤ Confirmation of walking with You! ❤

❤ Be still my heart… and know He is God! ❤

Praise Your Holy name, Father!
Thank You for making me a Mom!
Thank You for Your many blessings!
Thank You for family!
Thank You for Your message…
From You to me! ❤
❤ I love You! ❤

 

Praise You for 100 Followers and Over 3,000 views on gaillovesgodspoetry!

❤ The Lord is worthy of ALL His praise! ❤

gaillovesgodspoetry

Ok, God. It’s time to give YOU some more glory! It’s not about the numbers! You know anything You give me is all about You! What You bless this poetry blog with is all Yours!
According to WordPress, Damon Ashworth Psychology became the 100th Follower.
Bless him and his blog, Lord.
He had a pretty interesting sleep study (What Happens If You Go To Bed Too Early?) as his last post. Help him and his clients to have the restful sleep that only You can provide.
100 Follows!
Congratulations on getting 100 total follows on gaillovesgodspoetry!
Your current tally is 102.
WordPress also says there have been over 3,000 views now. You always amaze me that what You whisper in my ear, or that I talk with You about would be of any interest to anyone.  It’s You! They see You in anything they see good, or…

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Happy Birthday to My Son Anthoni!

Praise Ye! Praise Ye! Praise Ye! Our dear heavenly Father above! Creator and Maker of the Universe! And the Creator and Maker of my 30 year old son… Anthoni Lance Brookshire (aka InnerManTheatre on WordPress)! 30 years ago today, on a Friday the 13th, You looked down from Your heavenly throne and had mercy upon my soul… grace upon my life… and love yet to express itself in Your many ways that You taught me more about Your sovereign and parental love, as well as Your tender and nurturing love. So many of Your wonderful and mysterious ways manifest themselves so easily, so frequently, and so profoundly in the eyes, arms, heart, and soul of a child. Yet today He is not a child. Today He is 30! He will always be my babedoll! And He will always be Your son. A child of the King! ❤

Thank You , Father for the day we got to spend together at Cheddar’s and Cold Stone!!

Yup! That’s right! His birthday fell on Mother’s Day this year, so it was a win/win.

We first went to Cheddar’s so that I could eat my favorite food…
Cheddars’s Famous Spasagna with garlic bread!
(the tomato was from Anthoni’s cheeseburger,
he always gives me his tomatoes 🙂 )

I was so excited to eat Spasagna that I didn’t even care that I literally had to ask the waitress if I had gotten the Spasagna with Chicken Alfredo instead. The texture of the cheese was so hard and clumped into crusty lumps, so I honestly thought I could be eating chicken meat. It was still GOOD! But it wasn’t tasting the least bit like spaghetti, lasagna, or the delicious cheeses that were supposed to flavor the whole meal. The only thing that tasted right was the marinara sauce!

In these pictures below You can see the CLUMP it really was.
It was so thick I had to use my knife.  😦
It looks nothing like the delicious noodles I miss!

But again, Lord, I was so excited. It had been a few years since I had gotten to eat it! I thought it was me somehow. I wanted to be thankful for what You gave me, especially with the opportunity to share this special time with Anthoni. I could tell he cared about my food being edible, and what I actually wanted. I will do a feedback on the survey on my receipt, and actually call this week to Cheddar’s as well. If they have changed how they make it or what is in it, it absolutely changes my love for it. I had hoped to get good pictures for every one who had been asking about it and loved the idea of it.
I’ll post an update later.

🙂 But today! Today I am celebrating Anthoni! Not Spasagna!  🙂
And what better way to remind me of the miracle You designed him to be in my life and the lives of so many others than to give us a waitress named Miracle! ❤Spasday5

Miracle was so incredibly nice, pleasant, sweet spirited, with a beautiful smile. She was kind to allow me to get a picture of her and my son to remember his special day.
She is from Troy! (Anthoni I had fun discussions of Helen of Troy). She was our birthday miracle for him. We didn’t need one though. Anthoni was the miracle God gave 30 years ago to save me many things about my life, and my family from the dysfunction that was eating us apart. The Lord used his presence to break down races barriers on both sides of my family, bring peace to family squabbles, and lead us all back into church… including several family friends.

“The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.”
– Isaiah 11:6 KJV

Next! On to Cold Stone for my other favorite!
That Founder’s Favorite Ice Cream without a brownie! 🙂

After watching them make it… the finished product!
Gotta Have It size! (That’s their Large! 🙂 )
I thought of Caz when I realized the wording was slightly wrong from when I had previously said the sizes are called Like It, Love It, and Have to Have It. 😉Spasday8

It was melting all over the place. It was all I could do to get it to the table safely!Spasday9

Then I had to get Anthoni’s safely to the table, as he went to the bathroom.
He had the Birthday Cake Delight! How fitting!
Gotta Have It size… of course! 🙂
I’ll have to remember that next month for my birthday! 😉Spasday10

When he got to the table we found his ice cream!
It does not show in this picture, but his ice cream ended up all over the table,
despite my using several napkins underneath, and TRYING to keep it clean.
He had an interesting time with it.Spasday11

It brought back a sweet memory of him when he was just 6 or 7 months old.
He was in his car seat, eating ice cream. When the ice cream started melting all over his hands, he intentionally dropped it to the floor and started crying. He wanted me to pull over right then and there to wipe his hands clean, which of course I did with some baby wipes. Once he was clean, he was back to being a happy baby. He didn’t care about the ice cream anymore. All my family and friends in the car said, “Yep. He’s yours alright! Just like you!.” I hate having sticky or icky hands! Or mouth! Or face! LOL. Even if it means giving up what I am eating or going without!

So far down his bowl today, Anthoni just put his spoon down, looked me directly in the eye as if to point out that with his next statement he was giving me a hint.
“I’m done. Anytime you want to leave, I’m ready.”
He wasn’t saying it as of to hurry me or to tell me what to do. He was letting me know that I didn’t have to wonder about his leftover ice cream.
“Did you get enough? Is it OK?” I ask.
“Yes. I am putting my spoon down while I am satisfied, before I regret not doing it.”
He was only 1/3 of the way down his bowl.
“You mean like I already do, and I’m only half way down?” We laugh.
“Very disciplined, Anthoni! I am well pleased for you! So I guess that means we really only Like It! 😉 We laugh again.

Thank You, Father, for such a blessed time! For laughs! For good food! For awesome workers! For weather that held out to make for a beautiful day! For the time that is so hard for Anthoni and I to get alone! And I NEVER get to go to my favorite places, even if I am willing to pay for someone else! Unless I bribe my son because his birthday falls on Mother’s Day! 😉 Companionship is my gift. But he smiles because he knows he loves it too. That’s how I knew You were in on this today! And You lovingly put Your signature on it when You sent us our very own Miracle! With a smile! 🙂
No one says Happy Birthday or Happy Mother’s Day like You do! ❤
Me and Anthoni love You!

Praising God for 400 Followers and over 10,000 views!

Okay, God. You know this blog is not about numbers and stats. It’s all about You. This is Your blog! You know I am nervous each time I see someone new is following me. It still makes me think of the word stalker. But You also know that in following Your lead to open my settings from private to public, and to communicate with others, trusting You with likes, comments, followers, and the many awards, tags, and challenges that You use to keep me actively communicating, that You have blessed me with the richest of community, friends, and new family in Christ! All over the world, I have the dearest of hearts as friends! People who mean so much to me! Yet with so much love pouring from You through them, I can still so easily forget others are reading what You and I talk about.

Poetry, blogging, awards, tags, challenges, struggles with fear, anxiety, depression, chronic illness, and so many other things You and I discuss, and then You completely take me by surprise with over thousands of views, and thousands of the most encouraging and uplifting comments (praise Your name for the ones that testify for You and glorify You!) from some of the most amazing souls You have blessed me with. And oh what wonders You do for my soul to make so many of them fellow lovers of Christ! How my heart just flows over with such love to read and share You in everything! ❤
How Your heart must smile! 🙂

So let me share with the world the numbers You have allowed this blog… as a praise to You! Thank you for Thought for Change becoming the 400th Follower! Bless her blog, Lord! And her life! It was so wonderful to read how she loves you most! ❤
My favorite part of the stats is actually on the Insights page, where it has Comments by Authors. It seems to keep track of the top 6 Authors (aka bloggers) who are commenting. I love seeing that change around! It reflects the many God filled conversations with Your dear children loving one another through cherishing everything about You!

Right now, the top 6 are:
1. Discovering Your Happiness (Lovely Anita, Lovely A, Miss Lovely)
2. Red Letters (Hayley)
3. The Word (Margaret)
4. Invisibly Me (Caz)
5. Not Easily Broken
6. Walking With The Way (Arnya)

Praise You for each one of them, and those who may have simply commented Congrats or nice, and only once. If they have given praise in any form… it’s all Yours! ❤

I finish by praising You with the wonderful hymn You taught me years ago:
To God Be the Glory, hymn lyrics by our dear Fanny Crosby

To God be the glory, great things He has done;
So loved He the world that He gave us His Son,
Who yielded His life an atonement for sin,
And opened the life gate that all may go in.

Refrain

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
Let the earth hear His voice!
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
Let the people rejoice!
O come to the Father, through Jesus the Son,
And give Him the glory, great things He has done.

O perfect redemption, the purchase of blood,
To every believer the promise of God;
The vilest offender who truly believes,
That moment from Jesus a pardon receives.

Refrain

Great things He has taught us, great things He has done,
And great our rejoicing through Jesus the Son;
But purer, and higher, and greater will be
Our wonder, our transport, when Jesus we see.

Refrain

3 Day Quote Challenge 5.7.18, Day 3

 My Dear Loving Father, It has come to the last day (Day 3) of the challenge:
The 3 Day Quote Challenge that Alethea of Alethea’s Mind nominated me for.
Because of what You have laid on my heart to share today, I am ever so grateful for Your whispering my name into her ear. This is a month that recognizes Mental Health Awareness. For every word You lead and allow in this post to express the love You and Your Son carried for us on that cross even after experiencing the anxiety that sucks the life out of our weak flesh, please bless our dear Alethea just as profoundly. Because of this opportunity, You will be allowing me to share Your love and truth with so many others who suffer with anxiety, and are shamed by it so harshly either by their own condemning mind or the cruelty and ignorance of others who call it sin, and insulting to You. It makes the world of difference to know Your Son suffered His own moments of anxiety and agony... three times in one nighteven after praying. His example shows He understands, and allows His words to help us to know that anxiety is real, human, and heavy. And His example also tells us what’s best to do.


The Rules for the 3 Day Quote Challenge:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a quote each day, and why you like it.
  3. Nominate 3 different bloggers each day.

Quote for Day 3…

is a quote said three different times in three different ways in God’s word. It is that Jesus agonized! Suffered! Had sweat as great drops of  blood! Was sore amazed! Heavy! Exceeding sorrowful unto death! Fell on the ground! Kneeled down! He even asked God (His Father) if it were possible to change His circumstances, to remove His challenge, to find another way to do what He was being expected to do. Just like you and I do sometimes when we wish God would rescue us, or at least just change what we are currently going through. Even after He was ministered to BY AN ANGEL who strengthened Him, He was still in agony and prayed more earnestly! His human flesh was waging war. The flesh that He took on for you and me. He felt the need to pray like this 3 different times. And He warned us to pray because while our spirit is ready and willing, our flesh is weak and vulnerable to temptation.
But Jesus also loved us! He knew our Father loved us! And He thought we were worth it. Jesus prayed for God’s will to be done, not His own. And just for the record, Jesus was simply obedient! There is something to be said for someone when they can follow through on something that is so hard to do that they agonize with heavy sorrow over just the thought of it! THAT IS ANXIETY! Obedience (aka follow through) is a commendable trait! It speaks for the soul that was faced with fear, but chose to turn over there fears, dread, sorrow, and all that they worry about to the one who can see us through. Placing our trust and faith in God! No matter what the outcome… as I am sure you remembered Jesus did not have His cup removed, His hour passed, and did not have His circumstances changed. He was still put on the cross! For you! For me!

❤ THAT IS THE JESUS I LOVE! ❤
❤ I’m so glad you didn’t give up, Jesus! ❤

Below are the passages!

And he taketh with him Peter and James and John, and began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy; And saith unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch. And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt. And he cometh, and findeth them sleeping, and saith unto Peter, Simon, sleepest thou? couldest not thou watch one hour? Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.”
– Mark 14:33-38 KJV

“And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy. Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me. And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt. And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
– Matthew 26:37-41 KJV

 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. And when he rose up from prayer, and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow, And said unto them, Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.”
– Luke 22:41-46 KJV


Nominees:
Sophie Harris
Life of a Coffee Addict
Essential Life


3 Day Challenge 5.7.18, Day 1 can be read here.
3 Day Challenge 5.7.18, Day 2 can be read here.

Congratulations to the nominees! I pray the challenge is fun for you as well!
Thank you, Alethea, for letting God use you!
So many people need to know anxiety is not the end of the world,
however… He completely understand what it feels like to have the weight of the world on their shoulders! Literally! May you be encouraged and blessed! ❤

❤ THANK YOU, JESUS! ❤

 

3 Day Quote Challenge 5.7.18, Day 2

Here we are, Lord, on Day 2 of the 3 Day Quote Challenge
for which Alethea of Alethea’s Mind nominated me.
I am thankful for the opportunity to share with others,
and even more grateful for the dear friend you have give me
in our dearest Alethea! ❤ Bless her, Lord! ❤

Thank you again, Alethea!
Me and God love you! ❤


The Rules for the 3 Day Quote Challenge:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a quote each day, and why you like it.
  3. Nominate 3 different bloggers each day.

Quote for Day 2:

“Be not afraid of sudden fear,
neither of the desolation of the wicked,
when it cometh.”
– Proverbs 3:25 KJV

At a time when fear has been rearing its ugly head, trying to come at me from out of nowhere, but consume me with a continuing merciless grip, You remind me of this passage You taught me on how to deal with anxiety… my very real enemy.
While this cruel foe loves to torment me, and tries to make me feel sinful for experiencing fear, Your Holy Word reminds me fear is a human feeling, that I am very human, and that my Savior took on being human too.
Fear itself is very normal, and You are very aware of it. You gave us a bible full of verses that begin with Fear Not. To choose to Be Not Afraid is not pretending we are not human, it is choosing to trust You even though we know we are.

For anyone struggling with fear or anxiety, or are simply consumed by it, the Lord has many verses and bible heroes that have been there, including our Savior Jesus Christ when He agonized in the garden the night of His arrest.
Don’t be afraid of sudden fear. Just talk to God about it.
He knows and He cares. His Son has been there.
There are more scriptures you can read on fear in my old post My Fear of God.
Did you know that Jesus agonized too? Click here to read how He understands what you go through with fear… more than you might think.

If you missed the Quote for Day 1, you can click here to read it.


Nominees:
Sayer Teller
Delighted In Love
Empowering Women

Congrats to the Nominees! I eagerly look forward to reading how God uses you, as you already encourage me so much. I love reading what encourages you!
God loves you! ❤

3 Day Quote Challenge 5.7.18, Day 1

How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!
Song of Solomon 7:6 KJV

Lord, I am so excited about the love You keep spreading around in this WordPress Community, and the family of fellowship that You keeping growing among Your children that I had to start this challenge with the quote above for Day 1 because that is how I feel about You!! You love to give Your children Your delights!
YOU are the greatest delight of ALL delights! ❤

Thank you Alethea of Alethea’s Mind for nominating me
for the 3 Day Quote Challenge! ❤
God bless you!

Your Quote for your Day 3 was God taking me aside to have a much needed one on one! It was so tender, yet so empowering. How loving our Father is! I’m definitely staying in His river! ❤ I would highly recommend anyone reading this to click here to pop over and visit that river so that they can feel His love flowing over them too! ❤


The Rules for the 3 Day Quote Challenge:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Post a quote each day, and why you like it.
  3. Nominate 3 different bloggers each day.

Nominees:
BUniq
Single and Redeemed
Heart of the Journey

I pray you each have fun with your quotes!
❤ God uses you each to share His love
in such ways as He has given you! ❤
I look forward to reading them.

Mystery Blogger Award 5.6.18

What a wonderful mystery You are, dear Lord! You continue to delightfully surprise me with Your wonderful ways, through Your wonderful souls. Now You have our dearest sister Tasha of Pain Warrior Code nominate me for the Mystery Blogger Award. You already use her to encourage me and motivate me in those daily physical challenges. Anyone who is struggling with chronic or daily pain would be so wise and blessed to visit her blog.img_0671

What is Mystery Blogger Award?
“This is an award for amazing bloggers with indigenous posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging and they do it with so much love and passion.” – Okoto Enigma

Rules

• Thank whoever nominated you and include link to their blog

Thank you, Tasha, for thinking of me! 🙂
May God bless you! Me and God believe in you!

• Tell your readers 3 things about yourself

• Nominate 10-20 bloggers you feel deserve the award

• Answer the questions from the person who nominated you

• Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice with one weird or funny one

• Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog


3 Thing About Myself
1. I am in love with my Savior Jesus Christ! ❤
2. I am grateful that Jesus didn’t give up on His way to the cross! ❤
3. I am grateful that Jesus didn’t give up on me either! ❤

5 Questions from Tasha for me:

1) What made you want to start blogging?
I began Gail Loves God as a private blog to talk just between me and God.
Last summer He led me to open it while doing a challenge for a friend…
The 30 Posts Challenge for Fatima of Splendors In Embers…|
which led me to doing the…
21 Day Self Care Challenge with Lovely Anita of Discovering Your Happiness.

2) As this award is about blogs that inspire and motivates – do you as a nominee have a mantra, proverb or saying that you live by? 
❤ God loves you! ❤ Everyone needs to know this, or be reminded!

3) If you had to choose one meal that you had to eat everyday for a month (without any health consequences), what would it be?
Spasagna with garlic bread from Cheddar’s for dinner
and Founder’s Favorite Ice Cream without the brownie from Cold Stone
(Have to Have It size… that’s their title for Large)

4) What is your favourite hobby/pass time?
Spending alone with God! ❤

5) What’s the best/worst practical joke that you’ve played on someone or that was played on you?
My family use to do practical jokes of scaring one another as a past time.
The stronger the fear the better. Hysterics were the goal.
Later when I was a part of a local young adult community organization of adults from ages 21 to 39, when we did the famous annual haunted house, for at least 2 months fear was the favorite joke. Again hysterics were the goal.
As a result, fear is a huge part of my anxiety when there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. It would be God teaching me to reverently fear Him, and learn in His Holy Word that He did not want me in hysterics, to teach me to face my fears. I may not be able to prevent sudden fear from arising, but I can turn to Him for how I face it.

“Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh.”
– Proverbs 3:25 KJV


Nominees:
Visible Spectrum
Girly Christian
Amiably Amy
Haiku Out of Africa
Letters to Myself
Dizzy Doctor
The Word
He Has You
The Words Untrammelled
Family by Faith
Cancer Killing Recipe
Coffee Lander
To Strengthen a Mother’s Heart
Pastor Unlikely
Faithful Mommy
Chasing Jameson
Humble Mumblings
Beholding Hum Ministries
Jack Flacco


My Questions for the Nominees:
1. Do you need special prayer for anything? Feel free to comment or my page or through the Contact page as well as in your answer, to let me know how I can pray for you.

2. Do you know someone else who needs a prayer for anything? I would love to pray for them too!

3. Do you do a daily reading/devotion?

4. What season is it where you live?

5.  If you could sit down and have an undisturbed dinner with Jesus, what would you like to talk with Him about?

Congratulations on your Mystery Blogger Award! Please do not feel obligated to participate. If you do, no rush. Do you in your time. Let me know so that I can read your answers, as well as for those who maybe drop and see your link! God loves you!

THANKS AGAIN, TASHA! 🙂

 

Off Day

Lord, You sure have given me a very off day. You know what I mean.
I think of that line from the John Wayne movie McLintock:

Camille to George McLintock: “Day off?”
George McLintock to Camille: “Off day!”

That’s the way everything felt about this day… OFF!
In the beginning that was the problem, by the end that is the wonder.

I had awakened after an hour or so of sleep with the feeling of oversleeping. I looked at the clock to see I had EXACTLY the amount of time needed to put on my shoes, grab my purse and keys, and race to the first of two appointments today.

The first one I so desperately needed answers and healing to pain. My doctors too were so hopeful, and I knew this doctor was the best in his field. You had blessed me with him twice before, three counting the time he came out in the middle of surgery to let me know that he and his colleague had seen my son definitely had bone cancer, but my son’s doctor was determined to wait for all pathology before a second surgery to determine just how much to cut out. His wait proved to be essential as the pathology showed no cancer, but instead a very unusual fracture.

My son and I were so fond of this doctor, and he had once been so fond of my son because he wrote the doctor a note of thanks for saving his hand. The doctor had mentioned how it touched him and his wife, so they kept it at home where they could see it for daily inspiration. I felt so hopeful about this appointment.

First my stomach would not let me leave without visiting the bathroom.
Then I had issues with my sock, then with the keys, then with a cat was right under the tire moving… s.l.o.w.l.y.! Then as I drove over the local bridge, I saw the Interstate was backed up! Oh no! I started praying taking the back road to the other Interstate would be OK. An industrial truck took a very s.l.o.w pace in front of me before I could find out, so I called the doctor’s office to let them know.
Praise Your name it was moving, but just as I got to my exit it was backed up again.

I made it to the parking lot only to realize it had been so many years that I went to the wrong building. I found it up the hill. I was just about to park when a car backed out of his space right in front of me without looking, causing me to make a very sharp brake. I slid forward toward the steering wheel, as I had just unlatched the seat belt to save me time when getting out of the car. Whew!
I was 10 minutes late, but they were so wonderful.
They were getting a lot of calls about the backups.

I did my paperwork, gave the insurance cards, and took the brief moment between to take a deep breath. My body was reacting to the stress, so I was trying to relax a little to relive some pain. My wait was not long at all. I followed my nurse into the room, answered questions, and waited for my doctor, who was also a dear friend.

The delightful greetings were at least as I thought it would be, but I was so shocked… disappointed… devastated! Not in the doctor… but the answer… or lack thereof. There was nothing he could do. He saw the problem is real… it may get worse… but there was nothing he could do. I was in such disbelief. He could see I was upset. I told him it wasn’t him, but that it had been so painful, and that if he couldn’t help me then no one could. I knew he was the best in his field. He appreciated that and felt bad, but literally didn’t even suggest a brace, a bandage, therapy, ice, heat… NOTHING.

I mentioned to him that the urgent care doctor had said when she saw no break on the x-rays they took that he could read them better, and would want to do a MRI or better imaging if it wasn’t just bone. She was concerned about Osteoarthritis being the problem (which I confirmed to her I have) and strongly urged me to see him. He said if they saw nothing then it just wasn’t there, and that he could tell I had OA, but didn’t believe this was the problem. “But I need to be able to use my hand!” “I’m sorry.”

This was so devastating it was all I could do not to cry. Part of me started to, but anytime I cry at a doctor’s appointment or anything medical I get the “anxiety” label and treatment. You know… where all of a sudden I’m treated like I’m either having a nervous breakdown, acting childish, overreacting, paranoid, just don’t understand, and am being irrational all because I allow my fear, my tear, or my concern being out in the open. This helped me hold off till I got to the car. Even then I could feel my body wanting to express this moment out loud, but my brain wasn’t having it.

I stopped at the post office box afterwards, and found a jury summons. Federal court this time. So I drove to a local chick-fil-A to put something on my stomach while doing my devotions. Uh oh. Tablet and phone need a charge. I get inside and realize I left my writing compo in car. So many little things could make one scream, but I said a prayer on the way to CFA.
“Ok., Lord. What do YOU want to do with this day? This is YOUR day. I am where YOU want me. What do YOU want from me?”

Joy starts coming over me as everywhere I look and see little smiles and waves keep coming at me. They keep coming from the playground, the table in front me, behind me, beside me, and walking by. They’re all too little to have been influenced by someone to raise their hand, or fake a smile. Everyone is noticing, and are tickled by it.
This would be my joy for the day!

The stress from the first appointment was adding to the stress of the later appointment before even arriving to the second one. An appointment that I dreaded. Not because I was dreading my doctor or the visit, but because he had discussed what to expect. I knew it would involve being extremely uncomfortable. The pressure was necessary to work through things. I was dreading dealing with that pressure so much that I was stressing myself with fear of frustrating or aggravating my doctor.

I still had a couple of hours in between, so I THOUGHT I would catch my breath. I get in the car and realize a bird has “hit” my window. It is over 80 degrees out, but I know NOT to roll down that window as I see there are two spots side by side, and streaked down the window to just inside the door.  I need to get gas as well, so I go to the local grocery store that has a gas station and car wash. I waited in line behind the other cars for over an hour, but I finally get the wash.

Pulling out, I notice it has not touched the stain! So I pull over to the gas pump to grab the window squeegee. I am trying to scrub, but the stain isn’t budging and my hand is not working. It hurts! But it’s not wasting its time on something that seems to have no hope. I suddenly have a feeling this stain might be on the inside! Don’t roll the window down! I drive on to the pharmacy to get my meds and pick up a bottle of Lysol Wipes with the scrubber one side and wiper on the other. Sure enough it was on the inside!! How did that bird hit inside a closed window, leaving a double stain that started in the MIDDLE of the window?!?

I realize by this time, I might as well go on over to this dreaded appointment before anything else happens to keep me from it. I make it with a little time to at least catch my breath. Now You are ready to allow me to attempt that! 😉 I pray, and gain the motivation to go on in!

Pleasant greetings are exchanged. Some joking about a chair in the lobby. And before long we are discussing my homework, how I am doing, and where to begin. I am offered, even encouraged, to make a decision. I am afraid to do so because I am afraid of making the wrong choice. I am afraid of frustrating my doctor. I attempt to follow his direction. Then as I expected it was time to avoid the very subject which needed addressing. I try to at least be honest that I am doing so, with the conveyance that I DO want to do what needs to be done. Reluctant trust shows up, but at least it some form of trust, enough to keep moving in the needed direction.

The very uncomfortable process keeps moving forward. I am soon so focused on the surprising result not being as I expected that my focus shifts to enduring even more to convince my brain… “Yes. I am doing this. I don’t know why it is not as I expected, but isn’t it more important that there is accomplishment in some manner? Isn’t it more important that I do what helps my doctor help me? Isn’t it a load off to know there is no point in carrying that load? I know your fear that the process isn’t over and the meat of the discomfort will show up. But can’t we just save our energy for dealing with it when… IF it comes? Maybe we’re wrong in thinking it HAS to be the result we expect. Maybe when the doctor says it’s OK and that we are doing well, shouldn’t we trust him to know what he’s talking about? Shouldn’t we at least focus on what is happening versus what is not happening? I could really use a break from all of this stress!”

The appointment comes to an end and I am in complete disbelief again. This time I am too afraid to believe how well things seem to have went compared to how I had feared. The dread had been replaced by comfort. The process had led to trust. The trust had brought an unexpected result. We still have much to work on, but the dreaded unknown had been put to light. The light had exposed the shadow of fear. Letting the doctor guide my treatment allowed at least a hopeful start in healing.

And isn’t that what makes it all more bearable… hope.
Isn’t that what made this day so off?
Where hope was expected to heal… it failed to even show up.
Where hope wasn’t even seen to be possible…
it was the very thing that made anything possible.
If hope is the evidence of things unseen, how did this happen?

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for,
the evidence of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1 KJV

I’m still trying to figure all of this out because it just seems so off that where I had faith, hope was taken from me,
and where I was too focused on fear to trust, hope was given birth.
Is it possible that being I was given no counsel on possibilities for healing that my faith was not given the chance to be exercised?
Yet because I was given the chance, even encouraged, to trust… that my faith was exercised and hope given birth?
One thing I know for sure.
You my Creator, my Great Physician, Counselor, Almighty God, gave me a very off day… at least from my feeble human mind.
Lesson learned…. give You the chance to offer me to trust… have faith that You know best… and that whatever You lead me to, You will lead me through.
All my hope is in You!