Dear Lord, how kind You’ve been to me through so many. I was writing to You the other day about Losing… It. I had a very challenging day because I am mixing up my appointments, my medicines, even my conversations. The next day was just as bad with my making it to an appointment I “didn’t have,” and “did not” have a follow up because I had “not” the conversation I thought I had with my therapist. At least I wasn’t missing one! 😉 I had to bring these things to You.
“If I be wicked, woe unto me; and if I be righteous, yet will I not lift up my head. I am full of confusion; therefore see thou mine affliction”
– Job 10:15 KJV “In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion.”
– Psalm 71:1 KJV
It was all I could do to stay awake under the wheel. I had not eaten, so in trying to do so I found myself waking up choking on my food. This is where my son took the wheel, and kept an eye out on for me eating. Once we got home I was able to finish a part of my meal and fell asleep.
“There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.”
– Hebrews 4:9 KJV
I slept from 6:30PM and woke up at 3:30am… without even a flinch. This is a big deal for me because of my struggle to sleep. It helped that my son had the night off, and I had no morning appointments. I used the bathroom, ate a bite to take more meds, and within in an hour fell asleep again until 9am. I awoke rested, and was able to rest peacefully for 3 hours while doing devotions and check in online. Oh did You allow the kindness to continue!
“And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.’
– 2 Peter 1:7 KJV “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.”
– 1 Thessalonians 5:11 KJV
So many kind and encouraging comments from others. Such emboldening comments from fierce prayer warriors and encouraging warriors! The battle that was waging on my behalf! Wow the thoughts I’m ashamed to say that were not in range, but You sure shot them my way with Denise, Piers, Arnya, Margaret, LaBranda, Natasha, Heather,KJ, Anita, and so many others through likes and e-mails. How delighted was my soul, lifted by Your loving edification. WordPress itself is filled with such a rich community of believers, and those who have chosen that good thing that will not be taken from them. They took the time to stop, listen, and encourage.
“And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
– Luke 10:41-42 KJV
Being so rested actually makes me feel like I’m in a strange fog… like I’m out of place… and need to get myself together to be capable… and yet I feel too peaceful to rush just yet. How about we just led You lead, and trust the rest of the way to You. That sounds and feels much better. How about I follow Your wisdom. How about I just appreciate the abundant joy found in Your kindness, and in the kindnesses of those You send my way. You are so beautiful in all Your ways! Help me to trust them… always!
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”
– Proverbs 3:5 KJV Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.”
– Proverbs 30:5 KJV
I’m losing… it. The storehouse of faces I’ve loved. Those voices I once heard whispered in my ear. Those unmistakable laughs. Those unforgettable moments I was dying to tell. Those corny jokes told again and again, but I loved the one telling them. Those little arms that came along with little smiles and wide eyes. Those exciting and luring moments that seemed too hot to forget. And all of those things that made me who I am… by knowing who I am… and knowing who I am not. Memory. That’s my it. So when I say I am losing… it, I am not joking. I am losing… my memories. I am losing… me.
It sounds so selfish to say it like that. But, Lord, how can it be selfish to be concerned about my heath. It’s not healthy to lose everything you have done in me to make me who I am. I am going to lose all of that as well. I am losing the verses, the hymns, the parables, the commandments, and the beautiful love letter your Son left us in the book of John. Worst of all, I am losing everything I know about you, your Son, and your Holy Spirit. My reason for living.
My friends used to call me “human rewind”. I was the one who remembered birthdays, anniversaries, and even phone numbers and addresses long before cellphones. I could verbally playback songs, note for note, ooh ah for ooh ah. I made extra money on jobs because of articulation, pronunciation, accentuation, and remembering the details of products, customers, and all sorts of info. I was given leadership roles in work and college organizing resources of information because I had pleasure (really a need) to keep things in some form of order for immediate access.
By your grace, I memorized countless bible verses, even chapters. You allowed me to memorize the whole book of James. I knew the ten commandments fully. I knew the books of the bible, new and old, in chronological order. I learned so many hymns, in their entirety, not just their popularity. I was asked by church to do a writing ministry because I was already sending cards for birthdays, anniversaries, new babies, weddings, graduations, get wells, and just because. They offered to keep me in supply of stamps, cards, and whatever I needed as they handed me a directory and told me to let them know whenever I found mistakes.
Now… now I’m lucky if I can finish a conversation without fumbling, or rambling, forgetting, or sounding like the high school drop out I was (my high school teacher, who was teacher of the year with NCAE and our school several years running, urged me to quit school to get my G.E.D. and go on into college in fear I was getting bored with school), or a nervous rambling wreck unable to at least keep my focus on topic. I find it extremely hard to remember the simplest of things if they’re not written down. Even then, I have to remember they’re written down already, or at least put a note where I hope I will see it. And my editorial skills, well they speak for themselves.
Friends and family are hurt that I cannot remember their special days, even more by my asking them to write it down… again… and again. They are offended by my writing the same notes I have written again and again over very personal matters, some that they only entrusted to me. They ask me not to write any more. I have not been the one who everyone comes to for everything for quite some time. They no longer trust my wisdom, my confidentiality, or my ability to be genuine.
Most days, I am struggling with medications… having to take them, having to trust them, and having to be careful of them. A couple of years ago I only had a couple of prescriptions to take as needed, which wasn’t often. Now I take 9 to 11 on a daily basis. Some I take more than once a day. I have to be careful discussing this because we have family/friends we have to hide meds from. So I have to hide them and remember. I have to write down what I take so I can remember when they’re due, and catch myself before I accidentally take meds on top of each other, and sometimes when I have already taken them again it gives me a window of time… to know when I’ll be ok. As long as I get to write these things down, it helps.
Lord, it’s hard. It’s scary. It’s depressing. It makes it easy to give up, especially when I see the hurt I put on a face, or when I disappoint those I love, and I mean disappointment that sticks for life, the kind I know from my own personal experience, and to know there’s nothing I can do about it. On top of this, losses in my life and my family have been many and continue. The people who once asked me to let them help, or asked me to be their help are not here to vouch for what I’m like, what I eat, what I’m allergic to, what health issues I have, or anything else that I will eventually have no control over. My life will be at the mercy of strangers. All I can do is pray they are your strangers, with your wisdom, your compassion, and your favor.
How does all of this feel? That’s all anyone ever wants to know. Didn’t I just say that… hard, scary, depressing, easy to give up, helpless, hopeless, disappointing, lonely, frustrated, and there’s nothing I can do… but pray. And I do.
Lord, tonight as I was talking with a friend about my post Finding Myself in Lovely A’s 56 Questions, she was responding to my disclaimer. I had answered the questionnaire as coming to you because I genuinely needed you to clarify some things for myself, and Lovely A titled it Find Out Who You Are (56 Questions). I wanted to know who I am… in you. By your grace, you loving assured me I am who I am in you because of who you are in me. My heart was comforted. Margaret of The Word was so loving and supportive. I was glad to have someone genuinely understand that to not include you in everything feels like I am ignoring you. And then you reminded me!
Years ago I saw a skit. It started with someone who had a life without you that seemed like one big party for Mr. Popular, who realized he was wasting his life, and that none of his friends were genuine. They weren’t even really friends. Being brought to the foot of the cross, he gave his life to you and asked you to be his God… to save him from himself… and professed a genuine love for you. When he started walking in his new life, he also realized the neighbors who were always talking about you before his conversion were not as annoying as he thought. They were true friends in Christ.
He attended church, started to serve, and fellowshipped, and became pretty busy. The skit showed you going EVERY WHERE with him from the moment he gave his life to you. But then some old friends from his old life came to visit. As he saw who was at the door through the peep hole, he frantically tidied up and put you in the closet. You asked to meet his friends, but he said maybe next time. I’m new to living with you. I don’t know what they’ll say. You assured that his friends would love you. But he was afraid of offending his friends. The heart break expressed by the person playing your role definitely had you touching that moment. It broke my heart. I could hear moanings and groaning of those watching with me.
Soon this main character was leaving you at home because they were going somewhere they knew you wouldn’t want to be. They were going to the parties, and hanging out where horrible communication was being spoken. They were even misusing your name. It wasn’t good. You were so broken and spent every moment praying for him, and speaking love for him. Then it got worse. He began to miss church and lost the godly influence. And why was that possible when the church friends should have been visiting? Because they were having you sit in the closet or stay at home because they had so many responsibilities that they forgot to come to you to say hey, or even wait long enough for you to make out the door with them. The door was slammed in your face. Again me and the crowd were heart broken to see the face of the one playing you as that door shut in your face. And yet again… you were lovingly praying for them.
I’ve always remembered that skit, and have tried my best to make sure you were welcome wherever I went, in front of whoever I met, and that anyone who knew me were given an introduction and knew how important you are to me! I know I have not been perfect, and I have had my fair share of putting you in the closet, or leaving you at home (as if you are not with me always). I am so sorry for every moment I left you out. I do not look forward to offending my friends or defying strangers when we meet, but it’s vital to me to make sure you know how much I love you, and to make sure you are NEVER ignored, excluded, forgotten, insulted, mocked, or anything that would hurt you as you allowed that actor in the skit to display for you.
That is why I have always tried to make sure you are even a part of my email address, my FaceBook, WordPress Blog, my poetry, or anything as gaillovesgod. And not just try to include you, but to make sure that me and everyone I know understands that IT’S NOT ABOUT ME. IT’S ALL ABOUT MY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST! Thank you for every prayer you have ever spoken on my behalf. Thank you for always being so thoughtful. Thank you for setting an example of love, forgiveness, and thoughtfulness for me. You are my perfect example! Help me to ALWAYS keep it all about you!
Thanksgiving is over, Lord. May my “giving thanks” for You and all that You do for me and are to me continue… all year long… all life long!
I love You, Father!
I love You, Jesus!
I love You, Holy Spirit!
I love You, Trinity!
Lord, my post is short, but not the least bit ungrateful! I am thankful for what you and your Son Jesus have done in my life, and for my family and friends. Thank you for rescuing me, saving me, and Loving me! ❤ I leave you this song that you have led me to of all days today… Thanksgiving 2017. I love you, Jesus! ❤
Lord, There are not enough words in the universe to tell you how thankful I am for the gift you entrusted me with in my son, Anthoni (aka Inner Man Theatre)! You blessed me those pair of little arms, those beautiful brown eyes, that black curly hair, that precious smile, and loving little heart! I was always so grateful to be a mom from day one… and I still am!
He’s all grown up, but he’s still my little man! Thank you for entrusting him to me. And thank you that he is Yours. He always has been, but I praise your Holy name that he gave his heart and life to you long ago! I know that I can trust him to you. I pray for him and his ministry… Inner Man Theatre.
Lord, tonight I am mindful to thank You for prayer warriors. I have a friend who wants me to go to a Christian Concert with her. As I was checking out the details online, as she had asked me to do, I called her to give her the needed info. She was having a very scary spell. She was having a racing heart rate and feeling pretty much like she did last year when she ended up in the hospital because she had passed out. They determined it was her heart. She was scared but doing a great job to intentionally calm herself. She was home alone for this moment. She wanted to avoid the hospital. So we talked for a bit. Then she went for a walk to wind down some more. When she returned we talked some more.
While she was on her walk, my stepdad prayed with me for her. He is such a prayer warrior. Day and night. If you ask him to pray, he stands, sometimes takes your hand, and takes a name before Your throne. No hesitation. No timidity. He prays. He praises. He trusts You to answer before he is even finished praying. I thank You for prayer warriors, and for allowing me the privilege to be one. May I always trust everything and everyone to You! And as I close this note, I pray for her again. Look after her, Lord. You are her comfort, and her healing. We trust in Your name, in Your Word, and in Your promises. In Jesus’ loving name, Amen.
My Sweet and Delightful Lord, how can I thank You enough for the help You give me through the WordPress Happiness Engineers? It may seem so trivial to many to thank You for such things… but they are not things… they are people! For the last several months they have helped me through so many frustrating and long nights, yet they have been there… with patience… with wisdom… with reality checks. Tonight, I had a reality check that issues I have been trying to resolve were not supported in my current chosen theme. So as You have been doing in my life quite a bit lately, it called for change.
It was a change I was weary of, but trusted You and the advice of the WordPress Happiness Engineer that You gave me. How delighted I was that not only were the issues were resolved, but so many changes were everything I had been trying to do! I was finally able to connect the comments to the actual post, even see at the top of the post that there are comments and how many, I was able to move the header to the top of the page and keep my sidebar widget, and I didn’t have to redo everything because WordPress did it for me! Best of all, I was “finally” able to add the picture of where I “first” saw Your beautiful ocean!
That picture is the first time I realized Your oceans were real! I knew knowledge wise, but my world was always too consuming to focus on anything else but the moment. In this moment I realized the other side of the world was real, there really were people around the world… who had never heard of You, and that burdened me… in a good way… a loving way. Though I was afraid of the ocean, I was ready to cross over to tell anyone I could how much You loved them! That picture also made me realize how insignificant I was… that Your little finger could wipe me off the face of the earth if You chose to. But that’s not You. Instead, You are in love with me for life, and are hopeful that I am in love with You for life… and I am! ❤ I absolutely, divinely am!
Thank You so much for helping me to trust! Your devotional today told me… Be Thankful in everything. Trust Me at all times.
So I thank You, I praise You, and I delight in You for the help You’ve given me through each WordPress Happiness Engineer! There have been many! Bless them each one, Lord. A special thank to the creator of this Lovecraft theme… Anders Noren.
Lord, today as I am thankful for many things, I want to thank you and praise you for fellowship. Especially among the brethren. You allowed a sweet fellowship with a long time church family. A church family that was my son’s first church family for the first 12 years of his life. You used this church to draw my son’s heart closer to God every day. How blessed I was to see my 3 year old doing songs and skits, dressed in the most adorable costumes all for the love of Christ! You used this love to bring my family to come see him in his plays, which got my entire family back into church, and traditions that included a vast number of family friends.
Today you allowed a sweet fellowship in the Thanksgiving Dinner. Even during services there is this lingering time of genuine fellowship that is not hurried, resented, or looked down on. It is so refreshing. I was blessed to sit right in front of Robin, who had little Desmond right beside her. Desmond is Pastor Andrew and Rebecca’s new arrival as of November 4th. He slept the whole time. What a joy it was in service, the message, the music that ministered to me, and the sweet fellowship.
You allowed that fellowship to continue through a John Deere tricycle, countless hugs from long time friends and beloved strangers who are new friends, and food that I heard a voice say, “That was so good. It has to be illegal!” 😉 These souls have also been long time friends of my stepdad’s as Bobby has been a member there for over 50 years. It is such a blessing to see how they care for him, love him so, and genuinely miss him when he’s not there for even one day. And the cards that his Pastor sends him… the words that are so personal and genuine! Love is in this fellowship every time I come.
And on a day when pain became such an unwelcome enemy right in the middle of this fellowship, you had me sit right beside someone who has been where I have been physically, but is so further along in the experience of what the doctor’s tell me are next steps or even the worst. She was able to give me such encouragement and hope. My shame for having physical problems was comforted by souls that you personally sent to fellowship with me when I had been under the impression that you had encouraged me to fellowship with them. How valuable your word and your promises are.
“Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) and let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” – Hebrews 10:23-25 KJV
“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.” – 1 John 1:7 KJV
Praise You and Thank You, Lord, for delightfully surprising me with the Blogger Recognition Award… especially at a time that I was exhausted and weary from so much that You are using to bring good into my life.I was actually nominated on November 9th, but had to wait for the energy and time to properly thank Lovely Anita of Discovering Your Happiness. She constantly encourages me and motivates me every time You lead me to read her site, or go to encourage her, and sometimes You simply whisper in her ear to let me know You are thinking of me… even if her words may not convey that SHE knows You are speaking through her!
I’m especially excited to thank You for her when she has received an award for being ranked in the TOP 75 HAPPINESS BLOGS on Feedspot! So others can see her post Ranked In The TOP 75 Happiness Blogs and join in celebrating with her! God, You are so good and generous! Honestly, I’m not surprised, but I am so incredibly thrilled for her! I constantly see others responsive on how blessed they are with her site, reblogging, and doing posts regarding what she has posted. May she continue to be blessed, Lord!
RULES FOR THIS AWARD:
Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to their blog.
Write a post to show your award.
Give a brief story of how your blog started.
Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
Select 5 other bloggers you want to give this award to and comment on each blog to let them now with a link to your award post.
How gaillovesgod Got Started:
Originally, it was just private conversations with You, Lord. This last summer You led me to begin The 30 Truth Posts Challenge, telling 30 aspects about myself, for Dear Fatima of Splendor In Embers. You had me be open with everything, including my privacy settings. During that challenge, You led me to Lovely A’s 21 Self Care Challenge. As she asked me to tag her to let her see my posts to her challenge (and educate me on how), it became obvious Your whispers weren’t just for me. So I’m continuing to trust You. Including with gaillovesgodspoetry for the poetry You have allowed me to write.
2 Pieces of Advice for New Bloggers:
1. If you want feedback and interaction with other bloggers make sure to tag, and make your like and comment buttons available on every page… including your About and Contact page.
2. Blog about what YOU want to blog about, when you want to blog (or not), and as much as you want to blog (or not). It’s YOUR blog!
Congratulations to the nominees! Lord, may You continue to bless each one and their blog! Thank you, Lovely Anita! Congrats to you on both of your awards… the Blogger Recognition Award and ranking in the Top 75 Happiness Blogs on Feedspot. God, may Your showers of blessings continue to pour over her pages!
Lord, thank you for helping me get the poetry copy and pasted onto the new site gaillovesgodspoetry. That blog is just as much yours as this one, and anything in my life. I was hoping to get it done in time to do some Thankful blogs for Thanksgiving… and maybe longer. However you lead. I keep following. Thank you for all of the love and support from so many with their views, likes, comments, follows, and e-mails. Even though it is all about you, you are so loving to encourage me. Please don’t let me fail to thank you and praise you with my reluctance to celebrate the numbers on each of these things. You deserve ALL of your praise!
And there it is, Lord, Thankful post #1 for 2017. I am thankful for you helping me getting the courage to get gaillovesgodspoetry started, and for helping me finish the copy and paste to get caught up in time to do the Thankful posts started for this week.
I love you, Father! ❤
I love you, Jesus Christ! ❤
I love you, Holy Spirit! ❤
I love the Trinity! ❤
*Disclaimer! This is extremely long! 56 Questions answered! Please know I am not trying to be pretentious, pushy, do better than anyone, or any of the things I sometimes hear when striving to keep God first everything in my life. If you are not interested in scripture, you may want to click away now. If you don’t have time to read it all… I understand! Having said that… Lovely A, it felt like a very diligent bible study challenge! It made a very laborious work so exciting to do! I had fun! ❤ If anyone wants to check out her post Find Out Who You Are (56 Questions), it can actually make you think. God loves you!*
PS… #25 was so many verses to choose from Psalm 119 that I shared with you a link to a friend’s friend who does music that is like reading the whole chapter. I love it!
1.Do I believe that everything is meant to be, or do I think that things just tend to happen for no reason at all? “I said in mine heart, God shall judge the righteous and the wicked: for there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.” – Ecclesiastes 3:17
2.Do I forgive and forget? Or do I forgive, but always remember? “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32
3.If I could give one piece of advice to everyone in the world, what would it be? “For God so loved you, that He gave His only Son for you, that if you believe in His Son you will not perish, but that you will have everlasting life.” – John 3:16 paraphrased for you to know God loves you so much!
4.Do I think that people can change, or that they just are who they are?
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
5.Would I consider myself to be religious or spiritual? Both are good, but I consider myself to be His. “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain. Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” – James 1:26-27 “All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits.” – Proverbs 16:2
6.Would my 10-year-old self be proud of me? My 10 year old self would not know who I am. She doesn’t exist. “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” – Proverbs 13:10
7.What do I think is the best revenge?
“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” – Romans 12:19
8.What would I change about myself? “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.” – Romans 7:18
9.On the flip side, what would I never change about myself?
“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:10
10.Can I confidently say that the path I am on in life right now is the one that I (and no one else) would want for myself?
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6
11.It’s the year 2040. Where am I? In the future. 😉 “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” – Matthew 6:34
12.Am I a morning person or a night owl? “I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.” – Psalm 16:7
13.Would I consider myself to be more creative or more logical? “Surely I would speak to the Almighty, and I desire to reason with God.” – Job 13:3
14.What could I do to be a healthier person?
“Wherefore I pray you to take some meat: for this is for your health: for there shall not an hair fall from the head of any of you.” – Acts 27:34
15.If time and money were no object, what would I do with my life? “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21
16.Is it all about luck or hard work? “Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.” – Proverbs 13:11
17.Should I live with no regrets, or learn from my mistakes? “Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.” – James 5:19-20
18.How would I describe myself in only five words?
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” – Galatians 2:20
19.Family first, true or false? “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” – 1 Timothy 5:8
20.Can discipline be learned?
“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” – Hewbrews 12:11
21.Am I as loyal as I think I am? “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.” – Romans 12:3
22.How could people be a better friend to me? “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.’ – Proverbs 18:24
23.How could I be a better friend to people? “Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.” – Mark 5:19
24.Is conformity a good thing or a bad thing? “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” – Romans 12:2
25.What is a book I read that completely changed my outlook on life? “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.” – Psalm 119:71 “My soul fainteth for thy salvation: but I hope in thy word.” – Psalm 119:81 “O how love I thy law! it is my meditation all the day.” – Psalm 119:97 “How sweet are thy words unto my taste! yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” – Psalm 119:103 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” – Psalm 119:105 “Thou puttest away all the wicked of the earth like dross: therefore I love thy testimonies.” – Psalm 119:119 “Therefore I esteem all thy precepts concerning all things to be right; and I hate every false way” – Psalm 119:128
26.How can I be generous when I am not rich? “If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well.” – James 2:8
27.How can I improve dialogue and communication with those I deeply disagree with? “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” – Ephesians 4:29
28.If I had to make a list of my top 10 most important values, what would they be? The Ten Commandments I.Thou shalt have no other gods before me… II.Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image… thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them… III. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. IV.Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy… V.Honour thy father and thy mother… VI.Thou shalt not kill. VII.Thou shalt not commit adultery. VIII.Thou shalt not steal. IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. X. Thou shalt not covet… any thing that is thy neighbour’s. Exodus 20:3-17 Summary
29.What are my deal breakers for romantic relationships? “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14
30.Do I love myself? “If I bear witness of myself, my witness is not true.” – John 5:31 “But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God.” – Acts 20:24
31.If not, how could I find a way to love myself? “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. ” – 1 John 4:10-11 “As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.” – John 15:9 “For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” – Psalm 139:13-14 “How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.” – Psalm 139:17-18
32.Is trust always earned, or is it a given until it’s broken? “Judge me, O Lord; for I have walked in mine integrity: I have trusted also in the Lord; therefore I shall not slide.” – Psalm 26:1 “He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he.” – Proverbs 16:20
33.If I could apologize to one person, who would it be? “For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin.” – Psalm 38:18 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9
34.And what would I say to that person “that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” – Romans 10:9-10
35.If I was able to say one thing to my ex, what would I say? “Say not thou, What is the cause that the former days were better than these? for thou dost not enquire wisely concerning this.” – Ecclesiastes 7:10 “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.” – Isaiah 43:18
36.If I could have one person apologize to me, who would it be? “For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.” – 1 Peter 2:19
37.And what would I want them to say? “Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?” – 1 Corinthians 6:7
38.Do I ghost people or do I give them a reason for breaking ties? “Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly? Wherefore then hast thou brought me forth out of the womb? Oh that I had given up the ghost, and no eye had seen me! But the eyes of the wicked shall fail, and they shall not escape, and their hope shall be as the giving up of the ghost. Who is he that will plead with me? for now, if I hold my tongue, I shall give up the ghost. But man dieth, and wasteth away: yea, man giveth up the ghost, and where is he?” – Job 3:11, 10:18, 11:20, 13:19, 14:10
39.Do I believe in karma? “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ: according as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will… in whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:” – Ephesians 1:3-5, 11
40.How do I show I am angry? “Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness” – 2 Peter 3:11 “Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:1 “Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving… that God would open unto us a door of utterance, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in bonds: that I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” – Colossians 4:1-6 “for the Holy Ghost shall teach you in the same hour what ye ought to say.” – Luke 12:12
41.In my opinion, what are my greatest strengths? “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” – Philippians 4:13
42.In my opinion, what are my greatest weaknesses? “For though he was crucified through weakness, yet he liveth by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but we shall live with him by the power of God toward you.” – 2 Corinthians 13:4
43.If I could go anywhere in the world, where would I go? “If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.” – John 12:26
“But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do. Arise, let us go hence.” – John 14:31
44.Is work-life balance important to me? “Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.” – Proverbs 16:3
45.Is family important to me “Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.” – Proverbs 17:6
46.Is friendship important to me? “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” – John 15:13
47.Is romantic love important to me? “My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” – Song of Solomon 2:10
48.If I could have one talent, what would it be? “My heart is inditing a good matter: I speak of the things which I have made touching the king: my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.” – Psalm 45:1
49.What is one part of my life I miss and why? “And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?” – Mark 10:17 Because I miss running… for exercise… for work… for the joy of it… daily… but more importantly I miss kneeling in reverence to my Lord and Savior at the altar. (Side note: I miss having a real altar to kneel at! Not steps! Praise the Lord for the last one I know of, should I ever be blessed to be able to kneel again… especially to linger with my Jesus as long as I want! ) ❤
50.What are elements from that time I could incorporate into my present? “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31
51.Do actions really speak louder than words? ” What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him? If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works. Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead? Was not Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son upon the altar? Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and by works was faith made perfect? And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God. Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only. Likewise also was not Rahab the harlot justified by works, when she had received the messengers, and had sent them out another way? For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” – James 2:14-26
52.Am I happy with my career? “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” – Matthew 6:33
53.If not, what could I change about my job to be happier and more satisfied? “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” – 1 Timothy 6:6
54.What’s more important to me, self respect or being right? “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.” – Proverbs 22:1
55.Do I learn from the past or live in the past? “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.” – 1 Corinthians 9:24 “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:14
56.When I die, what do I want to be remembered for? “By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God.” – Hebrews 11:5 “Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached in the whole world, there shall also this, that this woman hath done, be told for a memorial of her.” – Matthew 26:13
I struggle to stay awake. I fall asleep while trying to read or write, or encourage, then awaken in spells as well. My brain strives to keep up with what I am doing. Thank God for copy and paste to transfer the poetry. Lord willing, I will get back to blogging… in His perfect timing. After adding 2 diagnosis (lymphedema and lipedema) to the many others, my regular physical therapy that is usually 2 hours of work, tens, and ice/heat/gameready twice a week has been adding new treatments. They have been helping tremendously with my legs, feet, and overall swelling. I am told I am blessed to not have it as extreme as some, but still have it significantly enough to need intense therapy to get ahead of it. My therapists work me good, and I appreciate it!
This last week was another thoracic facet block, so the pain and exhaustion has caught up with me. It usually does between day 3 and 5, and wipes my energy. I can tell a good difference though, so I praise God I will benefit from it all. And of course it means I was blessed to spend some time with Dr. Buzz and the girls. God continues to use him mightily.
I will begin some intense physical therapy of a different kind in December. I am amazed at how many different kinds of physical therapists there are. I have lost count of how many different kinds I’ve had. God has used them all! But I must give a huge thank you to Robbie for being so attentive, thoughtful, and extremely mindful of my therapy recently. God has truly gifted him! And I can’t forget Ali and Katie! Ali is so very patient with me! She and Katie keep things so entertaining as well. 😉 Praise God for each of them. And Praise God for ALL of my therapists! When you are so thoughtfully praying for me, please remember to pray for my therapists, doctors, nurses, and all those the Lord is using to send me healing and/or comfort.
Hi, Guys! gaillovesgod here letting you know I’ve been working on getting my poetry on a separate blog gaillovesgodspoetry, but as much as I have been struggling to have time and energy to learn how to do things… I am still learning.
I had difficulty with export downloading properly to load to gaillovesgodspoetry, so I gave up, choosing to copy and paste each poem. It means losing the loving and supportive comments, and the followers posting them, but I’m not tech savvy enough to figure it out, and it’s time consuming. My health doesn’t allow me that energy any more.
I do care about each of you who have been so supportive, so I’m leaving on gaillovesgod what poetry has been added thus far, but after also adding them on gaillovesgodspoetry I will post all new poetry there so that I can separate by years, then months, as I always have. There are literally thousands. The Lord led me years ago to do this to allow the testimony of what He has done in my life to show that growth in my writing… the spiritual gift He gave me. You are more than welcome to join me there as well.
The gaillovesgod blog will remain for… devotional journaling, challenges, reblogging as a prayer warrior at times, and simply spending time talking with the Lord, as well as sharing responses He gives at times. I ask your patience with me as I post several posts at a time on the poetry page to catch up. I’ve been checking and you shouldn’t get the notifications unless you have already clicked to follow gaillovesgodspoetry, and they will slow down when caught up.
Any feedback is helpful. Oh… and I haven’t decided 100% on a theme. I still have so much to learn, but with so much therapy (and far more to come) and the latest procedure I had this week, I am constantly falling asleep either as soon as I touch the keyboard, or worse… in the middle of talking with someone. So sorry.
I hope to get back to blogging soon. I even have an award to share… thanks to Lovely A!
Remember…. God loves you!!
What a fool I’ve been.
What a fool I’ve made.
What a fool you’ve made of me.
Congratulations, you fooled me.
That’s right, you schooled me.
Excuse me, I have a Savior waiting for me.
School’s over.
11-9-17 written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)
I was actually 
gaillovesgod 