Absentminded

Absentminded according to Webster’s 3 definitions are
1. lost in thought and unaware of one’s surroundings or actions 
2. tending to forget or fail to notice things
3. indicative of or resulting from preoccupation or absence of mind

All these describe where I have been… at least to those whom I’ve been in the presence of physically with my mind completely somewhere else, Lord. No matter how hard I try to stay present or attentive, I can’t seem to be where I am. Even when praying or trying to read Your word, I’m so distracted that I cannot think or read. Maybe it’s too soon for the organic sunflower seeds to help, but they still taste good! (Thank You for Brandy’s tip).

Seriously though, this is very annoying considering I am trying to finish a book due back at the library pretty soon, and need to start the one I just checked out. And annoying doesn’t begin to properly address not being able to take in Your word.

To make matters worse, my mind goes where it does not need to be. It thinks on thoughts not healthy to think on. I’ve not given up on trying to give this to You. That is why I write now. So we can deal with this. Face it head on. The best thing to do is to bring this to You, this inattentiveness, this absolute absentmindedness, and leave it at Your feet.

I so easily miss conversations, needed information, cues that my name was called upon, too easily confuse my meds and their timings, and neglect priorities and individuals. Trying to respond, or keeping on top of things feel so impossible. But I know who is on top of all things and that is YOU! You are not caught off guard by anything that gets by me, nor forget anything I fail to even hear. You know what is going on… around me… and inside of me… better than I do.

This confusion and escape seems to be too often for my comfort, as I would like to have no problems at all. But as I know You are the God who hears, heals, and answers, I will trust this into Your hand, and keep listening to the songs You use to minister to me.

For just like the song says,
I know You’re able and I know You can. 
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand.
But even if You don’t. My hope is You alone.
I know the sorrow and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You just say the word.
But even if You don’t. My hope is You alone.
– Even If – MercyMe